How Do You Handle a Friend Who Constantly Interrupts?

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

A group of us "girls" get together for a long brunch every couple of months. These are really special times because we've known one another for over 50 yrs. and we all realize we aren't getting any younger. One friend in particular was in a terrible marriage, eventually divorced, and has been alone since. She repeatedly discusses her loneliness and all that entails. I've been married to my high school boyfriend all this time so I can't really relate. I don't have a clue how I would cope if he died first, and I pray I never have to find out. Anyway, this same friend is a terrible interrupter. Someone will begin a conversation or attempt to answer a question and none of us can finish a story or complete a thought without being interrupted over and over. Sometimes I feel ready to snap at her, and i don't want to do that. She really is a kind person, but seriously insecure. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I'm at a loss. Any suggestions?

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:
A group of us "girls" get together for a long brunch every couple of months. These are really special times because we've known one another for over 50 yrs. and we all realize we aren't getting any younger. One friend in particular was in a terrible marriage, eventually divorced, and has been alone since. She repeatedly discusses her loneliness and all that entails. I've been married to my high school boyfriend all this time so I can't really relate. I don't have a clue how I would cope if he died first, and I pray I never have to find out. Anyway, this same friend is a terrible interrupter. Someone will begin a conversation or attempt to answer a question and none of us can finish a story or complete a thought without being interrupted over and over. Sometimes I feel ready to snap at her, and i don't want to do that. She really is a kind person, but seriously insecure. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I'm at a loss. Any suggestions?

People that do that are often just nervous. Maybe she needs some reassurance that she is being "heard." If you have been friends for over 50 years, maybe she needs a one on one conversation so you can better decipher why she is monopolizing the conversation @JeanLouiseFinch .

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@JeanLouiseFinch I'd interrupt her and point out that she interrupted you and continue with what you were saying. If the rest of the group would also do this consistently, I'm sure shed get the message.

She lacks impulse control and can't patiently wait for someone else to finish speaking.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

colleena · ‎03-27-2010

@JeanLouiseFinch I'm not sure so just putting this out there but I'm wondering if she's having hearing issues so doesn't realize that she is interrupting when someone else is speaking?

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@colleena wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch I'm not sure so just putting this out there but I'm wondering if she's having hearing issues so doesn't realize that she is interrupting when someone else is speaking?

@colleena As someone with significant hearing loss, I've considered this. The way she interrupts most of the time is to anticipate where you're going and she tries to finish your thought or interject her own prematurely. I lean more to the lack of impulse control. AKA manners. 🤷‍♀️

AuntG · ‎03-09-2010

Don't I know? I'm pretty kind so I listen, listen and listen some more. Even her husband tells her to take a breath, but then she gets mad. I think for all her bravado, she is terribly insecure so I just listen. Even worse than her stories is her desire to prove herself right, even whe she's wrong. As far as the OP's predicament, maybe talk to the other ladies privately and see if they'd want you to speak up.

Sammycat1 · ‎03-09-2010

Depending on her age, it may be that she feels she has to do so in order not to forget the point she's trying to make. A common problem in getting older for many. This happened to my father when he hit his late 70s.

Regal Bee · ‎07-20-2017

@JeanLouiseFinch Look at your friend with a big smile and say..."Let me finish what I was saying."

She probably doesn't realize she is doing this and your statement will help her to understand.

Major Shopper · ‎06-21-2010

@JeanLouiseFinch First, congratulations on a 50 year friendship!

Many of the suggestions for interruption mentioned here are valid possibilities.

Has this particular friend always had issues with interrupting? It may be just the way she is, and after 50 years of friendship, you may want think of it as endearing.

I was just at a neighborhood breakfast this morning with someone who not only does this, but derails the conversation! My sister said to her, "I need you to get off of this hamster wheel you are continually on!"

That stopped her dead in her tracks!

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@Major Shopper wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch First, congratulations on a 50 year friendship!

Many of the suggestions for interruption mentioned here are valid possibilities.
Has this particular friend always had issues with interrupting? It may be just the way she is, and after 50 years of friendship, you may want think of it as endearing.

I was just at a neighborhood breakfast this morning with someone who not only does this, but derails the conversation! My sister said to her, "I need you to get off of this hamster wheel you are continually on!"

That stopped her dead in her tracks!