Community Chat

[missy1]

I am sure if puts a dent in their dating life.

[ROMARY]

If a parent/parents are on a tight budget, then financially helping would be helpful. Otherwise, adult children (even tweens/teens) should help out by doing various chores. I'd say that doing their own laundry would be a huge-huge help to their mom.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

I think each family should decide for themselves how they will handle financial matters.

[RainCityGirl]

My friend's son moved home from college. I don't think she charged him rent, but it became a war of the wills in many cases. She told me that she loves him, but that 20 somethings do not belong living with their parents. He would go places and not tell her he wasn't coming home. She'd be up half the night sick with worry. Then there would be a showdown when he returned, and he would quit speaking to her. Finally her husband had to step in and deal with it. They are much closer now that he has his own place, even though her husband had to subsidize the rent for him.

In my opinion, I think when a child moves back home and actually has a job, he or she should pay rent and food. If that kid doesn't have a job, it would become a stipulation for living there to find a job, no matter how menial. I think we have reached a time in our society where very few of the next generation will be able to own a home. I think more and more parents will find themselves landlords with kids back in their homes.

[RedHeadedWench]

I have had all my adult children live at home at one time or another. I never charged them rent. They paid their own bills (cellphone car payment and insurance) all I asked was help around the house.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

I doubt I'd ever charge my daughter rent.....

[nun ya]

My daughter moved back home this semester, she graduates college in May. She interned last summer for a great company close to home. At the end in August, they hired her full time. So, she pays her own health benefits, and cell phone. The rest is going towards her loans for now.

[kdgn]

An older friend of mine had a couple of rental homes. Her daughter and SIL moved into one of them with their two little ones. After paying rent for several months, they decided they wanted to buy the home from her. She held the mortgage (being the bank) and collected the monthly payments as scheduled. What she didn't tell her daughter was that the mortgage payments went directly into a separate savings account that she had set up. When the oldest grandchild graduated from high school there was a hefty amount in that account towards a college education. That child happened to get a scholarship so not as much money was needed. Two years later grandchild number #2 entered college and again, there was money in the bank to help with the costs after her scholarship.

It was a nice surprise for her daughter and a blessing for the grandchildren.

You could do something similar: Charge the ones who have a job rent, hold the money for them (without telling them) and when they're ready to move out they will have a pleasant surprise waiting for them!

Paying the minor bills such as car payments, insurance, cell phone, clothing, etc. doesn't teach them as much about budgeting when the rent isn't included. Each child may be putting money away for the future or paying off student loans, but without that rent to deal with it's not real life. Right now some of their discretionary funds is dependent on the rent that they are not paying. If they were paying rent then what they were free to spend would be drastically reduced. Budgeting has to be more about real life.

[LucyGoose]

Oh my God, I'm glad you started this thread! I was about to start one similar but I'm not very good with words.. I'm about to pull my hair out living with my step-son. This is his second year in college, so it's his second year living here with his father and me. He just turned 20 in March, never had a job, he won't do anything! I finally got him to stop sleeping on the couch all day and playing video games in the living room all day. He does his own laundry, but that's it. He has NEVER used a lawn mower, not even a riding mower.

I don't get it... his father (my husband) is a hard worker and believes that hard work is good for you.... but he's never made his son do ANYTHING (but go to school), and now his son is 20 years old, taller and bigger than his father is...... and he just hangs out in his room all day and waits for his daddy to come knock on his door in the evening and tell him that dinner is ready!!!!!

This blows my mind!!!! I've tried and tried and tried to..... the kid is smart! He got into college on an academic scholarship. His daddy is sheltering him and he's milking it for all it's worth, and I can't make his daddy see that. And he treats...... his son is 20...... but he won't go to the doctor if he's sick, his mother still has to make his appointment and take him..... and he can drive!!!! He's got his own car!!!! This is crazy!!! Now my husband is back at work for the next three weeks and his spoiled lazy man-child son is still here living with me.

[adelle38]

Every families situation is unique. Do what's right for you but don't compromise your retirement funds by supporting your children. If they can afford to contribute, they should.