How Do You Handle Young Adult Children Living at Home

EastCoastViewer · ‎10-18-2012

I am interested in hearing opinions on young adults living at home. Do you charge rent? Split some bills like cell phone, car insurance, food? What about chores? Do you mandate chores? Fuss about messiness or just turn the other cheek?

What should be the rules for gainfully-employed, college grads (age 25) who live at home because they are saving money to go out on their own and purchase a home?

What should be the rules for young adults (ages 23) who are working PT and attending college and paying the bill on their own?

What should be the rules for a college grad (age 22) studying to enter med school?

My children are wonderful and my husband and I are very proud of them and thankful to the Him for our children. Our children live at home and pay nothing but their college education/loans, even our 25 year-old with a grad degree who makes $72K a year. My husband and I make good money but we could be stashing more away for our retirement. Because we didn't save as much for our children's' education which required them to take loans, we don't like charging for bills, so they can pay tuition/loans and save money. Even with tuition/loans our 25 year old and 23 year old have lots of discretionary money and I am concerned they are not getting a good sense of paying bills and what it's like to NOT have lots of discretionary money when you are out on your own and just starting out. Also, I'm concerned they won't know the requirements of taking care of a home when I do most of it. Although, I don't ask to know how much is in their bank accounts, they seem to save their money, which is a good thing.

What are your thoughts? How do you handle young adults who live at home?

september · ‎03-09-2010

I've never been in your shoes. I had one college grad move home for a week, then he got a job and left again. But I think I'd cut some slack for the one who is going into med school. That one can use a break or two!

EastCoastViewer · ‎10-18-2012

On 4/1/2015 september said: I've never been in your shoes. I had one college grad move home for a week, then he got a job and left again. But I think I'd cut some slack for the one who is going into med school. That one can use a break or two!

Thank you for the response. I wish the best to your child and enjoy the empty-nest years.

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

If they had a full-time job, they paid for all of their own "stuff". We did not ask for any money for food, rent, or other household expenses.

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

I wouldn't have a problem with that (mine probably will too). It's more common these days. I lived with my parents until age 23. I paid my own bills, and helped them too. My parents lived with me, for a few months.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

My sons worked part time during college and while seeking a job upon graduation and both moved in with us for varying amounts of time. They paid their own bills like car insurance and cell phones. They were responsible for buying food for and cooking one meal a night for us. The goal was always to be independent.

EastCoastViewer · ‎10-18-2012

On 4/1/2015 VanSleepy said: If they had a full-time job, they paid for all of their own "stuff". We did not ask for any money for food, rent, or other household expenses.

Thank you. So I guess this arrangement worked out for your children and they didn't go into culture shock when they moved out and ALL the bills and life became their sole responsibility.

EastCoastViewer · ‎10-18-2012

On 4/1/2015 tansy said: My sons worked part time during college and while seeking a job upon graduation and both moved in with us for varying amounts of time. They paid their own bills like car insurance and cell phones. They were responsible for buying food for and cooking one meal a night for us. The goal was always to be independent.

Tansy, good arrangement. Did you mean one meal a night or one meal a week? I've often thought of implementing the rule of each child having to prepare one meal a week for the whole family.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

On 4/1/2015 EastCoastViewer said:
On 4/1/2015 tansy said: My sons worked part time during college and while seeking a job upon graduation and both moved in with us for varying amounts of time. They paid their own bills like car insurance and cell phones. They were responsible for buying food for and cooking one meal a night for us. The goal was always to be independent.

Tansy, good arrangement. Did you mean one meal a night or one meal a week? I've often thought of implementing the rule of each child having to prepare one meal a week for the whole family.

One meal a week

VanSleepy · ‎10-05-2010

On 4/1/2015 EastCoastViewer said:
On 4/1/2015 VanSleepy said: If they had a full-time job, they paid for all of their own "stuff". We did not ask for any money for food, rent, or other household expenses.

Thank you. So I guess this arrangement worked out for your children and they didn't go into culture shock when they moved out and ALL the bills and life became their sole responsibility.

Maybe they did have culture shock, but they survived lol. They all had apartments in college so had to pay bills, do laundry, clean, grocery shop, etc. - except that was our money!