How Do You Feel When a Friend Constantly Corrects ... - Page 4

RainCityWoman · ‎06-16-2015

@chickenbutt wrote:
Rainy - Thanks for the WAY better explanation! My brain isn't working very well today as I was up all night. I'm lucky I can put two words together. hehe

You did just fine. Grammar has always been kind of fun for me, plus I had to teach it for 30 years, so I kind of imprinted it in my sleep. You were correct in the examples you gave. One of them was the subject of the sentence. The other one was the objective of the preposition.

FlowershopGirl · ‎03-30-2011

My ex-husband lived to do that. He just couldn't understand how anyone could be so ignorant. I tried what Chynna said but it never worked with him. I have pet names for some things and he would tell me that was so stupid since I had an exceptional mind and college education. Hence, he's an ex! Now his mom is one of my best friends and she has never been that way so I don't know what to say about him. Except he's history........

novamc1 · ‎07-02-2015

There's an old saying that goes something like this:

Never try to argue with a pig. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

(not calling anyone a pig......it's the concept of fighting a losing battle that counts)

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

@Fashionista17 wrote:
One of my friends constantly corrects the way I and others in our circle will pronouce a word. For example, I pronounced the word "hygienist" as "hygeenist." OK, maybe that's not the right way to say it but then my friend laughed and said she couldn't believe I pronounced the word the way I did. It's happened other times with me and others in our group and just this past weekend once more. Maybe I'm being silly but I wouldn't bring up to someone that they pronounced a word the wrong way - or at least if I wanted to correct someone I wouldn't laugh and make fun of the person. Do you think she is doing this to show us up and show how intelligent she is? It is very annoying. I always get good advice and comments from this community and I'd love to know what you think. Thanks!

Timing and delivery are everything when trying to correct someone or persuade them to your side of an issue. I'm sorry this friend humiliated you, she definitely could have and should have used a better tact. However, if you know you're pronouncing hygienist incorrectly, why would you persist if you actually know you're saying it the wrong way?

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

@Burnsite wrote:
Is she a teacher? They are so used to correcting small mistakes that sometimes they can't switch it off. I have a distant relative like that who is otherwise basically the kindest person in the world, so I have always assumed this is an occupational hazard faced by teachers.

On the other hand, to share a correction is one thing but to say "I can't believe you didn't pronounce that right" is not friendly.

Yes, teachers are the worst for correcting others. My teacher husband would always correct me in front of others until I just went off on him one time and embarassed him. My husband never corrected me in front of others again.

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

If it bothered me, I'd find excuses not to see that friend.

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

IMO it is almost never a good idea to do this - and to do it repeatedly smacks of a whole lot of possible reasons behind it. None of them well-meaning or charitable.

Nearly all of my living relatives have grammar issues. They are country people and I'm a city girl who is well read.

My mother, when she was alive was always correcting pronunciation or grammar in our relatives. They blew it off because she was in her 90s, but I used yo tell her not to dot because it only annoys people. Either they know and they don't care, or it doesn't matter to them - all their friends speak in the same way and they don't want to stand out - I get that. It's also a lifelong habit - not something you can stop unless you REALLY want to.

Yes, the way they speak can make me cringe *inside* but I'd never say a word to them because I love them the way they are.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Bayside wrote:
It wasn't a friend who corrected me, it was my aunt. I was visiting her on Long Island when I was around twelve years old. We were talking about this and that and I pronounced a French perfume incorrectly. She corrected me. Then the next day, I pronounced yet another word not to her liking and she corrected me again.

It must have rubbed off as I got older because to this day, I am a dictionary and pronunciation fanatic. Was she right? Or wrong? I know at the I felt humiliated as a teen but maybe it was a good thing. If a friend constantly corrected me now though,, I'd say something like, "Oh, it's an optional pronunciation."
Spoiler

I think correcting a 12 y.o. is a completely different thing. At that age, I think adults certainly should be correcting children. In a way that doesn't make them feel embarrassed, of course, but on the other hand chldren of that age are sometimes embarrassed easily! So I think it was a good thing.

As for the OP, in an adult situation, I think it's okay for a good, close friend to correct another friend, but only privately and only if they know each other very well. Never, ever in front of anyone else, and always in a kind manner. What I would suggest is taking the friend aside and explaining that it's uncomfortable to constantly be corrected, and ask her to either do so privately or - if the OP doesn't want that - then to please just not do it at all. "I appreciate your efforts, but I find it upsetting." If she's a real friend and not just interested in feeling superior, then she'll honor the OP's wishes.

hckynutjohn · ‎06-15-2015

The title of this thread is an oxymoron to me. Anyone that constantly corrects me? They ain't a friend of mine. Met many like that during my years, but a friend they were/are not.

hckynut(john)