House guests - Page 2

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

OP, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you were to just say NO, not this year .... sorry .....

Drythe · ‎07-09-2011

Sorry, you are put in the position & glad to hear it's resolved.

Nope, this is NOT normal in my home. I'm just not wired for that kind of looseness, it does seem that some people need to be informed of the basics.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@denisemb, My point of view is that it's your home. You get to make the rules and since you aren't a hotel, although you've been very nice to them, let them know your plan. They don't pay (not a hotel). Please speak up now for your own sanity and health. Seat-of-their pants is fine if it doesn't put you out or become too much for you. Your house, your rules. As I said, JMHO.

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

I have had people I haven't seen in 20 years "announce" that they will be "spending the winter" with me...........and then go on to list the places they want me to take them............ I tell them hotel rooms go for around $300 plus per day around here, and never hear from them again. (And, NO, it's against the law for me to buy them guns.)

♥Surface of the Sun♥

gmkb · ‎07-29-2012

I wish you well and am glad you were able to resolve this problem. You certainly don't need such confusion when you have your own health problems.

Nataliesgramma · ‎03-28-2015

You sound alot like me...I tried and be nice to people, didn't want to hurt feelings. Some will take advantage of your 'niceness' and expect you to do things ALWAYS for THEM, whether you are able or not.....I finally got tired of some people treating me like a doormat and I just say "NO" to them now when they ask me to do something....no excuses...just A NO...and if they ask why...I reply nicely...Because I can't and I change the subject.

You will see how LIBERATING it feels the first time you do it and it becomes easier every time after that. Your true friends will still be your friends...the others...well...you are better off without them.....

missy1 · ‎03-10-2010

I don't have overnight houseguets. Hotels are near by.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@denisemb wrote:
I've already solved this problem, but wondering about others' viewpoints.

I live in FL and every year my SIL and her daughter stay a few days pre and post cruise at our home. No problem, other than we have no idea when they're arriving/leaving. (I.E.,last year, we knew when they disembarking the ship and wondered about 5:00 pm if they would be coming for dinner - when I called, they were out to dinner with her cousins and were staying there for two days. Nice to let me know.)

This year is even worse. My brother wants to come along (not go on the cruise, but he didn't like being left alone for 3 weeks last year and will visit his "buddies" in FL.) They have a weird (AKA bad) relationship and my SIL doesn't want him to come because this is her "getaway" time from him. But they don't "talk". I have no idea if he's coming, if he plans on using our home for a hotel while he visits during the week or what the heck is going on. They supposedly leaving next Tuesday. They tend to do things "by the seat of the pants" and I like to plan.

DH & I are in our 60's with health problems. Is this normal?
Denise

@denisemb so how did you solve it,

debic · ‎09-02-2010

As someone who loves houseguests even at the last minute, I'd say your family is rude. It's not like this is a spur of the moment thing.

I just wouldn't plan for them, nor would I put myself out. If/when they show up hand them bedding and tell them where their room is.

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

To be very blunt, this has continued to go on for who knows how many years because you have allow it to. If you felt their lack of planning or keeping you informed was a problem, after year one or two, it should have been nipped in the bud. You can't control what anyone else does, but you can control what you are willing to do and what you will allow. You shouldn't have to make up an excuse to get out of anything. Rather, you need decide what you want, what you're willing to do, and what you're not willing to put up with. In a firm but polite tone, confront the situation and let them know you don't mind having them stay, but you need to know their plans in advance so that you can prepare on your end (your own schedule, buying extra groceries, getting the guest room ready, etc.). If they don't like your terms they can stay elsewhere. You ended your post by mentioning you and your DH having health problems, so maybe it really isn't OK with you to have house guests as you stated earlier in your opening post. If that's the case, then fine, but get it settled once and for all with your brother and SIL so they also know what to expect going forward.