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Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,723
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

@katie1859   Get a local attorney.  They do the paperwork for you.  See what they charge.  Check with a couple of them and ask questions.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,723
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

One more thing.............be sure you know all passwords for their accounts.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 34,822
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney


@Skyegirl21 wrote:

100% correct. Luckily I got it completed 5 yrs ago for my aging Mom, and these days, you have to show it everywhere, to do anything for another adult- Even with it, there are tremendous frustrations handling affairs for her. And it's especially frustrating regarding the generation that are totally no tech. Frankly, It's been a nightmare... 


@Skyegirl21 I did it for an aunt and an uncle and both parents.  Oddly enough, the one I had most issues with was my mom.  She thought since she had a trust, I was the only heir, and I had POA all was well.  Not really so.  Every time has been a nightmare.  I feel your pain.  

 

You don't think about the utility companies, accounts, selling the house, disposing of what is in the house, medicare and insurance issues, signing for medical procedures and vaccines, making medical decisions (because somebody has to take the blame), gossip and accusations from relatives, clothing issues, dental, etc. etc.  Depositing random checks from here and there.  Taxes.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,735
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

My mother died March of 24. My father is not able to make any kind of decisions as he has dementia and is mostly nonverbal. Before my mother died she appointed my daughter as power of attorney. I was hurt at first but mom being the wise Soul she's always been knew exactly what she was doing and I am so grateful and thankful that I do not have that burden. I'm sure she made that decision for me to not have that burden due to my health problems and most likely my daughter will outlive me. She thinks with her head not with her heart. In manners such as this, that's a good thing. According to Dad's fiduciary she didn't want the responsibility but is handling it like a pro.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,431
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

What I found handling my parents financial situation was frightening.

 

Their lawyer had made me Power of Attorney and Executor of their Estate.

 

BUT NONE of their banks would honor the Power of Attorney. Each bank insisted that one of my parents come into the bank and sign the bank's forms. So I dragged my Dad out of the nursing home (fortunately he could still sit in a wheelchair) and had him sign the bank's forms. It was for a minor checking account but at least I could pay for a few of their bills.

I was NEVER allowed access to their safety deposit box because they died 5 days of one another. And all I had was Power of Attorney. The Power of Attorney ends at death. I could not have the wills probated - had no copies of their wills. Apparently my Mom shredded all copies of wills, bank statements, cancelled checks. She had been giving cash gifts to one brother and didn't want the lawyer or anyone else to know.

The reason she shredded the will was because the lawyer had made an Addendum to the Will stating all the cash gifts that were given to my brother through the years.

So please check with each bank and make sure that they will accept the Power of Attorney. Or will you need to sign the Bank's Power of Attorney forms.

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Posts: 34,822
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

@drizzellla I ran into that issue about a bank in another city 3 hours away insisting I get my incompetent aunt out of the nursing home to come sign on our joint account where there was never an issue before. The bank suddenly decided she was "guardian" for me--even though my sharp and sit it mom insisted that was wrong.

 

So, I cried a little while then called another bank were my aunt and I had a joint account and got the routing number, made sure I had the account number right, then called the other bank and asked to speak to the bank transfer person.  Gave her the account numbers for the new bank, and zap the money was in the other bank and I could pay her nursing home bill that month!

 

So, for anyone in that situation, just saying you might try it. You never know and there are a lot of cranky pants people in this world who love to say NO!  Even if they are wrong!  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,431
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

How clever, @Sooner .

 

Wish I could have done that but none of the accounts had my name on them. They were all joint accounts for my Mom and Dad.  I was nothing because I was only Power of Attorney and they were dead. And no will to show I was Executor of their estate. No one would talk or deal with me.

Couldn't pay their nursing home rooms or assisted living apartment with their money.

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Posts: 34,822
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney


@drizzellla wrote:

How clever, @Sooner .

 

Wish I could have done that but none of the accounts had my name on them. They were all joint accounts for my Mom and Dad.  I was nothing because I was only Power of Attorney and they were dead. And no will to show I was Executor of their estate. No one would talk or deal with me.

Couldn't pay their nursing home rooms or assisted living apartment with their money.


@drizzellla Oh you poor kid! Unfortunately I can imagine the pickle you were in.  People have no idea the things that can crop up.  Banks won't take checks, etc.  Crazy things.  Will or no will, trust or joint accounts, POA's and such.  And still stuff happens!  

 

We had a man who was about to make a bid on my aunt's house but hadn't bought it or had a contract on it go and put the utilities in his name, stopped making payments and the gas company shut off the gas in the winter!  Unknown to us!  And we lived 3 hours away.  

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Posts: 3,033
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

My mother died in August 2019. I was her power of attorney. In January 2020, my 54 year old brother had 5 strokes and undiagnosed diabetes. He is incapacitated in his walking etc. I had to scramble to get an attorney, become his power of attorney, get his house into a trust. What a job that was, he had no health insurance and I had to work on getting him on disability. 

Getting an attorney is invaluable if you are put in a position like this. 

My brother is now in a nursing home. It is still a lot of work for me. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,260
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Hope this will help others. Power of Attorney

Best advice ever. So many friends or acquaintances I have know had to go through no power of attorney. You never know where life will take you. When you have dementia, or a serious illness you have no power to sign one, and if someone had you sign it is against the law.  You have to draw one up when you are competent. Without a power of attorney you can hardly get info about your loved one or make decisions if they resist. To get one takes time, money and likely you will be given a conservator for your loved one to make decisions for you. My ex husbands wife just went through this with my ex husband. He refused to sign one for years , then when it was too late..it was too late Not even my daughters could help with it. I am in California, and this is the way it goes here. I also recommend leaving some sort of a will , a living trust is best. Make it easy on your kids, relatives and friends.