Community Chat

[Carmie]

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@blackhole99 wrote:

@Carmie  Well, if it is what it is, why are you calling me out for it. We all have our own ideas of what offends us and I just expressed mine.

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Oh no, you did not express what offends you. Your post was just a put down to @sydsgma1.

[suzyQ3]

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@pigletsmom wrote:

What is this business that it's automatically meant to be snarky in the Northeast? I've never heard of any such thing in my lifetime of living here. I worked with someone that called everyone hon and she was just an adorable sweet person. Whatever Northeast area you're in sounds unpleasant.

Obviously these words can be used in a snarky way which would naturally being annoying and obnoxious. There would be no need for this thread if that's what was being discussed.

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@pigletsmom, as one who would prefer that no one call me any endearments, I agree with you. I never thought that it was ALWAYS snarky. Anything can be said in a snarky way.

But I can absolutely say that I have heard them said in a condescending or patronizing way, especially by men. They might as well go ahead and call me "little lady,"

And don't get me started on "babe," although I loved the movie.

[YorkieonmyPillow]

  It doesn't offend me, on the contrary, I like it.  🌹

[aoldgirl]

I hate it.  Esspecially if the clerk has my file in front of them, With My Name On It.  Call me by my first name or mrs. last name, but don't assume I'm ok with the casual-ish of your "term of endearment".  I am NOT your Honey. and that goes for male or female clerks.  

[Mimi 1883]

@sydsgma1  Nope, not at alll.

[lovesrecess]

I agree...I find it condescending and patronizing....sometimes passive-aggressive...did I mention I don’t like it?😎

[Drythe]

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@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:

A man called me dear recently in what should have been a professional conversation. The whole conversation was so patronizing. That's offensive to me. It was disrespectful and rude, and I knew exactly why he was doing it.

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@Greeneyedlady21 

 Grrrrr!  Not in a professional situation where your NAME is known!

They think that subdues us, but just the opposite!

[Carmie]

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@Cakers3 wrote:

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@Carmie wrote:

@Cakers3   I am sure that term is used all over the US, but I live in the NE, so that is the area I am speaking  about.

Very few people here use those terms where I live....sometimes I hear it from people who are transplants from the south, but locals would never use those terms unless they wanted a fat lip or an earful of rude comments.

Of course not 100@ of people here use that term to be snarky...there is no 100% of anything when we are talking about people.  That's a given.

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@CarmieI am a native of MA and I've never, ever was told that those terms are offensive.

Where you live it may be so, but not in my experience. 

Go back and read my post. 

You are generalizing the NE based on your neighborhood, and your experience may be real for you but not for all of us Northeasteners.

Not going to keep arguing over this, dear.  lmao

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Funny, you know exactly what I am saying and you understand 100%.  You just called me dear in a smarty pants way.    No way that was a term of endearment.

You were never told those terms were offensive? well, I told you they were offensive to me under certain circumstances and you honed right in.  That wasn't nice.

I am not mad or upset, you are a perfect example of what type of people I have been writing about. 

So, thanks for helping.

[HiLo]

Not offended at all by such words but am by many other terms that are used today in general conversation.

[San Antonio Gal]

I can't remember being called Hon or Dear, but am often addressed as Ma'am....

I am perfectly fine being addressed with any of the above terms and would never find them offensive at all.