Re: Honey???Dear????

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

@Carmie wrote:
@Hooty wrote:
@Carmie wrote:
@Hooty wrote:
LOL, this is the most ridiculous post, complaining because someone is being respectable to you! I am from the South too, and it is a form of courtesy here, Bless your heart, Honey, LOL!!!
It is not a sign of respect in the northeast. When someone says it to you, they are being snarky, especially if they are younger than you. It's a term used to put you in your place or show superiority over you.
@Carmie , I was born and raised in the South, but my DH was military and I have lived in other parts of the US, especially mid-Atlantic area, and it was never a problem!
It's not a problem here either because very few people use those terms. It is not considered polite to do so.

When we hear it, it is usually said in a negative way. Example " Look here, honey, what do you think you are going". Or..when you are told to do something and reply " yes, dear"

Sometimes older folks will call a younger person honey, but a younger person calling an older person honey is a no-no.

It's really amazing how things are so different depending on where you live.

Some may disagree @Carmie but my experience has been the same. Last time some 20 year old sales clerk at Macys called me honey, it was sure not meant to be endearing. It was right after I told her I wasn't interested in buying her Estée Lauder moisturizer that cost a fortune...

JasoninBoston · ‎02-18-2012

I almost used "dear" when talking about a favorite vendor (Chaz) but caught myself and deleted the word. I do use in conversation and writing as a term of endearment---so it doesn't bother me actually as I tend to use it fairly often!!

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

@Perkup We don't say "you guys" where I live. The correct term is Yinz.

No chip on anyone's shoulder. There is no right or wrong here. The English language is spoken differently in all areas of our country.

what is acceptable in one area, might not be polite or accepted in another. The area where I live is full of European immigrants. They have some terms of endearment that they use among themselves that would seem hateful to outsiders. I won't mention what, or I would be jumped on for being hateful.

I would never use those terms when traveling. They would not be acceptable, however, in my neighborhood, all is good. Some are a form of greeting an old friend.

If I would tell you to " watch the ice". You might wonder why I would say that if it was hot and humid. It's a local term that means be careful.

We speak the same language, but it is interpreted differently depending on where you are located.

It is best to be respectable of people where ever we are. If people know something is not considered polite and irks people, they should do the proper thing and refrain from doing or saying it while in their company.

Mellie32 · ‎03-13-2010

For some reason, the word "hon" really grates on my nerves. I know a lady who calls everyone "hon" and it's just so weird to me.

Jazzygurl · ‎06-19-2014

@Drythe wrote:
@Jazzygurl wrote:
@Drythe wrote:

It makes me happy, one thing not lost from the south, in my state, NC, only 47% of adults are from the south....help...glub...glib. Being over run.

Doesn’tt bother me any more than Youz Guyz
So are you saying you don't really care for newcomers to your state. Maybe those who are coming fell in love with some of the southern charm.
@Jazzygurl

Wow, I thought I was clear. I don’t care for the newcomers who treat us as though the turnip truck they think we fell off of ran over our heads.

Complaining about the accent, the heat, the driving, the food, how slow things are, the Traditions, the music, etc. ad nauseum while enjoying the 4 seasons, low taxes, relatively low cost of housing, good jobs, and higher education is not endearing.

Just look at the words used around this topic - sleazy, highly educated - meaning the folks who use the words are not, well traveled - ditto.

Y’alll have a good day now Ya hear?

I understand how you feel. I literally grew up between a northern city and a southern small town. I was picked on by the kids in the north about my accent and talked to like I was dumb. I was picked on by the kids in the southern town because they thought I was better than them. It was not an easy way to grow up. When I took my husband to my southern town for the first time, I had a long conversation on how not to treat people in the south. No commenting on their accents or complaining about the pace of life, no complaining about the heat or whatever else. I also told him if strangers speak to you speak to them back. He fell in love with the area and he is the main one who wants to move to the south.

kitcat51 · ‎09-15-2016

The new pastime is being offended.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Marp wrote:
@Carmie wrote:
@Hooty wrote:
LOL, this is the most ridiculous post, complaining because someone is being respectable to you! I am from the South too, and it is a form of courtesy here, Bless your heart, Honey, LOL!!!
I am not from the south, but I know when someone says " Bless your heart" down south, they are not being kind to you. It's supposed polite way, of keeping ones mouth shut instead of saying something else.

i would not be thrilled if someone said that to me either.
@Carmie When someone down south says "Bless you heart" it can also be compassionate and empathetic similar to "poor dear" used in other regions of the country. Tone and context is everything with bless your heart. Now if someone says "bless your pea picking heart"...

I have lived in the South all my life and do not ever remember someone saying "Bless your heart" in a mean or put down way. Ever.

Hippiified · ‎03-21-2017

No, not offended at all.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@sydsgma1 wrote:
Is any one else offended by being called honey or dear by sales people, check out clerks, members of the medical profession etc. I may have silver hair, but I am highly educated and perfectly competent. Arghhhhh!!!!

@sydsgma1, I have never liked being called "honey," "hon," "sweetheart or sweetie," or even "dear," although it's not as annoying to me.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Free2be · ‎03-10-2010

"Hon" and "Dear" are fine terms when speaking to small children or maybe spouses depending on the ages and area they are living in whether it's their comfort level. My DH calls me "Sweetie" which may not be a term used in another part of the country.

"You guys" is a common term used among friedly groups all of my life, for men and women and mixed groups which is nice in its equality, there's no insult intended, it's light hearted. I might direct it at my grown kids, male and female, or in any number of situations.