Community Chat

[Carmie]

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@Equuleus wrote:

No.  Not at all.  How can a term of endearment be offensive.  Too much time spent on negativity over trivial matters.

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It is not a term of endearment in some areas of the country.  You could be looking for a fight if you used those terms in my neighborhood.

[cherry]

I must say ,I am glad I don't live in your neighborhood @Carmie . I would much rather be called honey, than deal with crabs ,with chips on their shoulder

[Diva on The Q]

Doesn't offend me at all. I don't think people use terms of endearment for negative reasons for the most part. There's always exceptions, of course.

[SahmIam]

I consider the source. If the person has a southern accent (or country accent as my Daddy used to say), I get it. If the person has a south Philly accent, it's an insult and the "look" is given to them.

I find "Sweetheart" to be an insult. I've never heard it said in an endearing way. It's more of a "Now look, Sweetheart......."  Yeah, there's going to be a problem all right.

[DiAnne]

I don't care for it but if it is someone I know I just figure they forgot my name........

[stevieb]

Eh, it's not a big deal... I might not feel utterly positively about it,  but it's certainly nothing I'd get my knickers in a twist over... I'm quite capable of knowing the difference between when someone is using a term of endearment in a snarky way and when they are just using it out of force of habit... In the first instance, i know how to snark back if I should choose to do so. In the second instance, I overlook it or, in some cases, might even appreciate the kindness... 

[bootsanne]

I've been working with the public since I was 14 and have been called horrible things to my face.  Honey and Dear doesn't bother me at all and I'm not from the south.@IG I also say ma'am and sir.

[Cakers3]

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@Carmie wrote:

@Cakers3   I am sure that term is used all over the US, but I live in the NE, so that is the area I am speaking  about.

Very few people here use those terms where I live....sometimes I hear it from people who are transplants from the south, but locals would never use those terms unless they wanted a fat lip or an earful of rude comments.

Of course not 100@ of people here use that term to be snarky...there is no 100% of anything when we are talking about people.  That's a given.

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@CarmieI am a native of MA and I've never, ever was told that those terms are offensive.

Where you live it may be so, but not in my experience. 

Go back and read my post. 

You are generalizing the NE based on your neighborhood, and your experience may be real for you but not for all of us Northeasteners.

Not going to keep arguing over this, dear.  lmao

[stevieb]

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@SahmIam wrote:

I consider the source. If the person has a southern accent (or country accent as my Daddy used to say), I get it. If the person has a south Philly accent, it's an insult and the "look" is given to them.

I find "Sweetheart" to be an insult. I've never heard it said in an endearing way. It's more of a "Now look, Sweetheart......."  Yeah, there's going to be a problem all right.

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I tend to agree about 'sweetie' and 'sweetheart' @SahmIam... I can live with 'hon' or 'dear', but anything 'sweet' does seem a bit presumptuous...

[Ms tyrion2]

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@cherry wrote:

I must say ,I am glad I don't live in your neighborhood @Carmie . I would much rather be called honey, than deal with crabs ,with chips on their shoulder

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ITA @cherry .

I am in the SW and it is not uncommon here.  Certainly nothing to want to fight over or have ruin your day. Maybe the bad weather in the NE makes people edgy? 😁

Just yesterday, I ordered a sandwich at the deli section of the grocery store. The clerk said, "sure babe" and then turned bright red and apologized. He said it was a habit he had speaking to his wife and it just slipped out. I laughed and said, "thanks honey".