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Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,280
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I think @LindaSal was being encouraging in her post. 

 

I have chosen at times to spend some holidays alone.  I did in 2013 when I lost my mother, I spent Christmas Eve my birthday alone, the next day, and New Year's Day, my late mother's birthday alone.  When I choose to do this I still cook a holiday meal for myself and it feels good doing it. 

 

Last year I spent Thanksgiving with family but wanted to spend my birthday and Christmas Day alone. I bought all the things I needed to cook my turkey dinner.  I had to wait until New Year's weekend to cook the meal, because on 12/23 the pipes froze and I went without water until 12/27. 

 

Linda is being a kind poster and her name is close to my heart my mother's name. 

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."
Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,892
Registered: ‎01-06-2015
I don't see how it's being encouraging to say that posters who are sad or alone on holidays are deliberately trying to sadden others. That's really the opposite of encouraging.

I celebrate the holidays by doing for others, the way my Mom taught me. I enjoy buying gifts for others and doing any small charitable things that I can. Wish I could afford to do more.

But what's left of my family isn't a Hallmark movie, it's as far from it as you can get. I don't decorate to perfection(I even use artificial flowers like the ones QVC sells, I remember comments about that) nor do I cook or enjoy cooking at all. My decorations are sentimental.

When you're planning your funeral because you think the stress and sadness from.your toxic family members will kill you sooner rather than later that's just a reality. Not to sadden anyone. And yes I'm getting all the help I can trying to cope with that.

Be grateful for what you have and always try to think that your blessed life is not the life that others live, and maybe just try to be gentle with them. And yes I AM grateful for my blessings, every day.
"If you really want to shock the world unleash your kindness"
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,280
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@gizmogal wrote:

I thoroughly enjoy Thanksgiving alone. I'll roast a pork loin and some favorite side dish. That's what I want to eat and I don't make it often, so it will make me happy. I'll eat at what time I prefer. The phone doesn't ring because everyone I know will be with someone they know, not calling me. I won't be thinking about what to wear or what to bring my host, or what time to arrive. No traffic to drive through, no reason to make small talk or listen to it. 

I just got a new living room TV a couple of days ago. I love it and I'll avidly watch a little of the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade and then the National Dog Show. I'll pick something to stream after that, unless I want to read. 

 

I like living alone and I don't think of holidays as just another day. I'm able to be  festive or celebratory on my terms. Food I like, house clothes, TV or reading, a nap after kitchen cleanup. 

I'll do it again for Christmas. And New Years Eve. Maybe the same menu! No matter--I'll be relaxed and happy. 

 

Sometimes I find myself wistful on Valentines Day. I had the companionship of a lovely dear man for 40 years. He passed away 3 years ago. I like being alone, but I miss him more on Valentines Day. Alone takes its toll just that one day. It's a holiday expressly for celebrating not being alone. I sigh a few times and then it's the next day. Manageable. 

Wishing you all a wonderful, yummy, safe Thanksgiving. If you can't be with the ones you love, love the one you're with--yourself. Don't eat too much...


The first line of you post @gizmogal is how I feel as well.  Have a great holiday season.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,365
Registered: ‎05-09-2023

@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:
I don't see how it's being encouraging to say that posters who are sad or alone on holidays are deliberately trying to sadden others. That's really the opposite of encouraging.

I celebrate the holidays by doing for others, the way my Mom taught me. I enjoy buying gifts for others and doing any small charitable things that I can. Wish I could afford to do more.

But what's left of my family isn't a Hallmark movie, it's as far from it as you can get. I don't decorate to perfection(I even use artificial flowers like the ones QVC sells, I remember comments about that) nor do I cook or enjoy cooking at all. My decorations are sentimental.

When you're planning your funeral because you think the stress and sadness from.your toxic family members will kill you sooner rather than later that's just a reality. Not to sadden anyone. And yes I'm getting all the help I can trying to cope with that.

Be grateful for what you have and always try to think that your blessed life is not the life that others live, and maybe just try to be gentle with them. And yes I AM grateful for my blessings, every day.

I am so happy that, despite your disappointment in family relationships, you haven't become jaded to the blessings in life, nor soured on children and young adults. There are many who are alone because they've driven others away with negativity and judgement.They know it too, which must be terribly hard to bear.

Stay greatful and gentle!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 8,035
Registered: ‎05-15-2014

@Greeneyedlady21 I think you are overreacting a bit.  I made a broad statement and it is what it is.  Obviously not "everyone" who is lonely and sad tries to pull others down but there are many of those who do.   If you've read any psychology in your life it is stated over and over again that "many" people have this type of behavior.   They can become toxic to be around and because of their miserable life they try to pull you down with them.  It's just a fact, I know I have had it happen in my life.  It doesn't mean I don't feel for them, I just have to keep my own mind at peace.

 

Regardless I was just giving the poster some credit for having a positive attitude which in my world is the RIGHT one........stay out of my lane and I'll stay out of yours.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,327
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

I learned along the way that there are far worse things than being alone. 

 

To all, a happy turkey day!

"Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are." BF
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,934
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

@Lakelife62 wrote:

@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:
I don't see how it's being encouraging to say that posters who are sad or alone on holidays are deliberately trying to sadden others. That's really the opposite of encouraging.

I celebrate the holidays by doing for others, the way my Mom taught me. I enjoy buying gifts for others and doing any small charitable things that I can. Wish I could afford to do more.

But what's left of my family isn't a Hallmark movie, it's as far from it as you can get. I don't decorate to perfection(I even use artificial flowers like the ones QVC sells, I remember comments about that) nor do I cook or enjoy cooking at all. My decorations are sentimental.

When you're planning your funeral because you think the stress and sadness from.your toxic family members will kill you sooner rather than later that's just a reality. Not to sadden anyone. And yes I'm getting all the help I can trying to cope with that.

Be grateful for what you have and always try to think that your blessed life is not the life that others live, and maybe just try to be gentle with them. And yes I AM grateful for my blessings, every day.

I am so happy that, despite your disappointment in family relationships, you haven't become jaded to the blessings in life, nor soured on children and young adults. There are many who are alone because they've driven others away with negativity and judgement.They know it too, which must be terribly hard to bear.

Stay greatful and gentle!


Yes, stay grateful.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,418
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

I'm the OP, my intent in this thread was just to wish all a Happy Thanksgiving. I don't begrudge anyone that has family and friends to spend the holidays with, that's not the case for everyone. I don't want to bring anyone down I'm not sad or having a pity party for myself. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,894
Registered: ‎06-08-2021

@gizmogal  I love the way you think.

 

Some people just know how to live well.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,418
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

I'm watching the parade my mother loved it, I really didn't watch it much but since her passing I do. I'm going for a walk after the parade ( it's chilly I'll bundle up), get some exercise in and be alone wit my thoughts ( a memory popped into my head, fighting over the wishbone, my mom secretly telling my older brother to let me win)! I made a nice dessert for later, I bought turkey cutlets, I'll have that with a baked potato and some of my homemade chicken noodle soup. I hope everyone enjoys the day.