Community Chat

[CouponQueen]

Either way they each have some form of mental illness.

I have read posters on here who (they said they could afford it but to me that wasn't even a factor) bought so many things she had her bedrooms filled and couldn't have overnight guests if she wanted. Instead of buying ink for her printer she just bought a few extra printers. Keurigs, make up and skin care in huge totes that she gave some to some handyman who was working for her..on and on..

Trying to fill her life with something it seems even though she professes to have loving children active in her life..People do not shop in that capacity without some underlying issue.

[brii]

There are compulsive shoppers and there are hoarders. Both have a form of some mental illness, IMO.

[151949]

If I understand this correctly, people develop a hoarding disorder because they have had an overwhelming loss in their life. They then feel they did not have control over their own life and so they try to have control over things, and , as we can see, that need takes over everything in their life. You can note that frequently the hoarders have had a terrible loss like the death of someone important to them - a parent or a child or spouse etc. Often there was a devastating loss in their life as a child then another when they were an adult which is the one that overwhelms them.

In our old neighborhood there was a very nice lady who kept a nice home - her husband and son were killed in a car accident. She could not afford to stay in her home so she sold it and moved to an apartment. Within a year or so we heard she was in a mental hospital because she had been hoarding cats in the apartment, and it was filthy etc.

[Catitude]

On 11/4/2014 brii said:

There are compulsive shoppers and there are hoarders. Both have a form of some mental illness, IMO.

When one is wealthy and has the means to shop, they are not labeled compulsive shoppers or hoarders but instead are admired as avid collectors. Many celebrities own thousands of pairs of shoes but are envied or praised for their extensive and expensive wardrobe or art collection or even multiple residences. I saw Mariah Carey's closet once and she had thousands of shoes that all looked very similar, many were hideous but the interviewer went on and on about how lucky she was to be able to have such a collection. Some were still in the box. Money forgives a multitude of sins, including hoarding.

[Catitude]

On 11/4/2014 happy housewife said:

If I understand this correctly, people develop a hoarding disorder because they have had an overwhelming loss in their life. They then feel they did not have control over their own life and so they try to have control over things, and , as we can see, that need takes over everything in their life. You can note that frequently the hoarders have had a terrible loss like the death of someone important to them - a parent or a child or spouse etc. Often there was a devastating loss in their life as a child then another when they were an adult which is the one that overwhelms them.

In our old neighborhood there was a very nice lady who kept a nice home - her husband and son were killed in a car accident. She could not afford to stay in her home so she sold it and moved to an apartment. Within a year or so we heard she was in a mental hospital because she had been hoarding cats in the apartment, and it was filthy etc.

We all experience overwhelming loss at some point in our lives, whether it's the death of a spouse, parent, sibling, child or close friend yet the majority of us do not become hoarders. I think the loss might bring to surface their propensity to hoard.

The living in squalor part I still don't understand.

[paie]

These shows always focus on one particular family member as being the problem. I saw a show where this woman's children and husband were talking about having to live with this problem for years and years. I see them as being part of her problem. The husband was disgusted with it but still continued to live right in the middle of all that sick clutter. He should have tried harder to help her get well.....not matter what!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Catitude]

On 11/4/2014 paie said:

These shows always focus on one particular family member as being the problem. I saw a show where this woman's children and husband were talking about having to live with this problem for years and years. I see them as being part of her problem. The husband was disgusted with it but still continued to live right in the middle of all that sick clutter. He should have tried harder to help her get well.....not matter what!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree some of the spouses and family members are a part of the problem. They agree to live in squalor along with the hoarder and supply the hoarder with money to continue shopping and collecting. It seems many of these hoarders don't even work so i wonder how they are able to indulge in all that non stop shopping.

[PalmSpringsTransplant]

On 11/3/2014 MomOf4 said:

Have you ever noticed how many boxes from QVC are throughout some of the hoarder's homes?

My sister began collecting Barbie dolls from HSN among other things in her hoard. Kept the boxes and everything and insisted they were an investment - all 178 of them. When we pointed out that the black mold had infested them all through the boxes, she rationalized they could be salvaged.

I know for a fact she ran through a $40,000 inheritance on this stuff. She's not stupid and I still keep trying to figure out why she could not see the reality of the situation.

Aside from my own guesses about issues with our mother, my sister continues to insist there never was a problem, it was all overblown by me.

[Catitude]

On 11/4/2014 PalmSpringsTransplant said:

On 11/3/2014 MomOf4 said:

Have you ever noticed how many boxes from QVC are throughout some of the hoarder's homes?

My sister began collecting Barbie dolls from HSN among other things in her hoard. Kept the boxes and everything and insisted they were an investment - all 178 of them. When we pointed out that the black mold had infested them all through the boxes, she rationalized they could be salvaged.

I know for a fact she ran through a $40,000 inheritance on this stuff. She's not stupid and I still keep trying to figure out why she could not see the reality of the situation.

Aside from my own guesses about issues with our mother, my sister continues to insist there never was a problem, it was all overblown by me.

How did black mold get on the dolls? Where was she storing them?

[PalmSpringsTransplant]

On 11/4/2014 SmittenKitten said:

On 11/4/2014 PalmSpringsTransplant said:

On 11/3/2014 MomOf4 said:

Have you ever noticed how many boxes from QVC are throughout some of the hoarder's homes?

My sister began collecting Barbie dolls from HSN among other things in her hoard. Kept the boxes and everything and insisted they were an investment - all 178 of them. When we pointed out that the black mold had infested them all through the boxes, she rationalized they could be salvaged.

I know for a fact she ran through a $40,000 inheritance on this stuff. She's not stupid and I still keep trying to figure out why she could not see the reality of the situation.

Aside from my own guesses about issues with our mother, my sister continues to insist there never was a problem, it was all overblown by me.

How did black mold get on the dolls? Where was she storing them?

Even though she lived in a NYC apartment w/o wallboard or wood, a slight leak from the upstairs unit into her closet which went unnoticed for years (because of the hoard) mushroomed into black mold. Once created, it can spread from point of origin pretty swiftly. The closet was in the entry foyer, the Barbies were stacked on the opposite wall about 6' away, the floor became covered with "things". Black mold overtook the entire area. Took weeks to remediate.