Community Chat

[shorelady]

I have a problem and am hoping that some of you may have suggestions on how to handle it. I seem to have run out of ideas.

I have a friend who I have known for many years. She has always had a tendency to collect and keep "junk". However, over the last few years, she has become a hoarder in the true sense of the word. It has become very uncomfortable for DH and I to visit. She is now insisting that we come for dinner. Unfortunately, neither DH or I can visit there, let alone have dinner. Without going into detail, the kitchen is in an horrendous condition with dirty plates piled high combined with other papers and who knows what. The dining room is in the same condition, and piles have to be moved to be able to eat. We try not to use the bathroom for obvious reasons.

I have suggested that we go to a restaurant instead, adding jokingly that it is time for us to be served after years of serving others. I have asked here to come here for dinner, but she feels that it is her turn to reciprocate since she was here the last time we got together. I have also told her that I am in the process of ridding my home of years of accumulation, but found it to be a rewarding experience once you put your mind to it. She seems to acknowledge that she, too, needs to do the same. I have always said that I would be glad to help out if she would like. She doesn't have any family.

I have also briefly thought about gently speaking to her about the situation, but I think that would only end up with hurt feelings. That is something that I don't want to happen.

Any other suggestions on how I can avoid dining there without hurting her feelings would be appreciated. Thank you.