Community Chat

[monicakm]

We brought the dogs to see dad today on our way home from the vet's office.  We stopped by yesterday too.  Yesterday he wasn't very talkative and when I told him I loved him, he said "I love you too...maybe"   Today he was happy and smiling.  As we were leaving, I kissed him goodbye and said "I love you dad", and he said, "I love you too, sweetie".  He hasn't called me sweetie in probably 3 years but it's what he used to call me all the time.  I've been on cloud 9   

For those that don't know, dad will be 91 in 2 months.  He has dementia and lives in an assisted living facility.  My brother and mother are both gone

[rochelleS]

@monicakm 

Awww, how wonderful! (((HUGS))) to both of you. 💓💓💓

My BFF has dementia and I'm beside myself. She lives 1500 miles away and both she and her family here are in denial. It's getting progressively worse and she can't be left alone. 

[monicakm]

I'm so sorry @rochelleS.  That's hard and being in denial makes it harder on everyone.  I wish she could get the help she needs.

Dad has been in a wheelchair for over a year.  He can't take care of his personal needs   But today when we were there one of the aids said he took a couple of steps!!!  She has been working with him.  When I told him that was great, he said, "nothing to it" lol  He hasn't walked in over a year.

[beach-mom]

@monicakm - We have a lot in common. When I read your post it brought back memories, because my dad called me "sweetie" all of the time. He outlived my mom, who died when DS had just turned one, and my only sibling, my brother, who died when he had just turned 28. 

It is great that you can visit your dad every day. I have no experience personally, but I know a lot of people who have, and I have visited dementia patients myself. It's not easy for you. 

[catter70]

I'm very happy for you. It must be a very difficult situation to watch them slip away like that. I'm glad you both had a nice visit.

[lynnie61]

@monicakm   Awww, glad you had a nice visit.  My dad occasionally calls me sweetie (I think he sometimes forgets my name).  He's in a retirement community, but his health is starting to fail, and it's heartbreaking.  Or he asks how my hubby is.  He knows we are not married (my so), but I think he forgets his name sometimes too.
 
Tonight we are invited as his guests to a candlelight dinner at the home.  I think it's really as a celebration for Mother's Day, but he is excited we are coming.  Each resident can invite two guests.  I'm looking forward to it.  They have one in May and one near Christmas.  Just nice to spend some time with him.  

I see him a few times a week, but tonight will be relaxed, no Dr appt, no laundry, no falls, just visiting.  

[meallen616]

@monicakm,

To you and Dad,

[PamfromCT]

So sorry for what you are going through.  My Mom was in a nursing home for quite a while before she passed.  She had

"sun downing," as she would ne fine until noon and then dementia would take over.  She always recognized us.

Treasure the moments with your Dad, on whatever level he might be on.  It is hard on the family, I do know.

[jlkz]

@monicakm 

Your post reminded me of when my mom was in a memory care unit and then nursing home.  The last few years were hard: I would visit and check on her surroundings until she passed at 89.  It was apparent that she had forgotten my name.

Soon I had a new name " Lovely Lady. ". Since I rarely got a compliment from her, this made up for it.  

My dad passed about a year later from a different type of dementia.  It was very difficult trying to make sure he would be pain free at his split level home.  

[sligo]

@monicakm,   Well I've had my first cry of the day. I'm so happy for you. Your daddy calling you SWEETIE!!   I wish I still had my parents. I am thankful for a super hus and my only child. Wish time hadn't gone my so fast. I can remember my daddy always said "you can't put an old head on young shoulders."  Now I understand  what he meant. Wish I could set time back. Hope you and your hus are are doing well. Tweny Five has been a hard year for each of you. Still stormin Heaven for you..  Sligo!!