Community Chat

[Group 5 minus 1]

We were stalked by a co-worker. We finally had to go court and get a ppo. I tried talking to HR and they were no help. Security was. We had a recording of him telling DH he was going to get rid of him. After Security got involved he was let go-it was a terrible time in our life.

[Puzzle Piece]

On 3/9/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 3/9/2015 Love Roses said:

My first marriage was to a man who would express certain behavior like a sociopath. I left. He was totally obsessed with me. Obsessed in an unhealthy way. It just wore me out. He also slandered me when I left him 35 years ago. People will believe what they want to believe. I know the truth.

Aren't sociopaths without conscience in anything they do?

They absolutely do not have a conscience. They truly believe that everything they do is warranted and righteous, as they believe they are the victims. They will accuse the actual victim of the crime they have committed and believe it to their core.

Very unsettling. I have just removed a toxic person from my acquaintance and what you wrote reminded me of that guy. He would turn everything around so that others were the wrong doers. He always character assassined to add to his lies and stories. Pathetic.

[HonnyBrown]

On 3/9/2015 northernlights said:

Yes, a family member of mine. I feel that they are a sociopath.

Always telling lies about me to others, and just lies about everything, in general. This person is incredibly vicious and malicious. I can honestly say that their attitude and actions are downright "hateful," and even really even "evil" for lack of better words, sadly.

I agree with the others who said that these people can "pile on the charm" with people who don't really know them, outside of their families.

And, as others have described, they are without any conscience at all.

They are totally and completely indifferent to the feelings of others, and they put on a total facade when it comes to their feelings towards others. They will pretend like they care, all of the while verbally "stabbing you in the back" with the hurtful things that they say.

It's all a "fake show"--a big "put on," but they don't really care about anyone else at all, and they don't care if they hurt anyone else through their behavior, or attitude.

You describe my coworker to a tee.

She will be sugary sweet to everyone and in a split second, act viciously to one or many. Everyone is on eggshells around her.

It was so awful and got so bad, our last boss removed her from the area where the technicians sit.

[Sunnyfield]

Yes, always want to make themselves look like the wronged party or take any opportunity to make themselves look good - even lying about others to accomplish this...have no conscience at all...and enjoy the havoc they create

[MickD]

Only professionally.

[lulu2]

In my 30 years of teaching I encountered a few students who seemed to have no conscience. They took whatever measures needed to advance themselves. At times they played victim. As I recall they were good looking and could be quite charming. I remember a colleague continually going to bat and praising one whenever possible. We sometimes joked we thought she had a crush on him.

Whether or not they were sociopaths, I cannot say.

[KittyLouSoutenu]

Yes, one that I know of.

Knew him casually for years. Handsome (like EXTREMELY!), charming, hard working, you'd think he was a great guy.

This was the face he showed to me. When he had reeled me in (boy, was he patient), his real persona emerged. I've never witnessed anything like it.

I will not discuss details. But, believe me, he's a sociopath. A dangerous and evil one.

Haven't spoken to him in over a year, but he still tries to contact me from time to time. I never respond.

[HonnyBrown]

On 3/9/2015 Colonel Meow said:

This is true. Not every manipulative liar is a sociopath. (In fact, very few of these are likely true sociopaths.) There is much, much more that goes into this diagnosis. I've worked in mental health for over a decade, often with a forensic population, and can tell you that I've probably worked with less than 2 dozen (or so) within that time frame. Also, I'll add that Psychology Today is not a very well respected publication in the mental health field.

Psychology Today is for the every day user, the pop psychologist; not someone trained professionally in psychology, psychiatry or neuroscience.

It's akin to people on the beauty boards going to Wikipedia to understand chemistry and ingredient reactions.

[Puzzle Piece]

On 3/10/2015 HonnyBrown said:

On 3/9/2015 Colonel Meow said:

This is true. Not every manipulative liar is a sociopath. (In fact, very few of these are likely true sociopaths.) There is much, much more that goes into this diagnosis. I've worked in mental health for over a decade, often with a forensic population, and can tell you that I've probably worked with less than 2 dozen (or so) within that time frame. Also, I'll add that Psychology Today is not a very well respected publication in the mental health field.

Psychology Today is for the every day user, the pop psychologist; not someone trained professionally in psychology, psychiatry or neuroscience.

It's akin to people on the beauty boards going to Wikipedia to understand chemistry and ingredient reactions.

My husband has a nephew who is a sociopath. By his step sister. The guy is in prison for life and that's where he belongs. We've learned a lot about sociopathic behavior just knowing about him. We aren't MD's with qualifications for psychologist, neuroscience, etc. - we don't have to be to know when wrong is wrong and criminal is criminal. god given common sense will let you know things without degrees and pedigrees.

[Anglophilly]

Not that I know of...but I think it would be difficult to identify one under normal circumstances.

Anne Rule worked with Ted Bundy and wrote "The Stranger Beside Me" as a result. Most of her books are about sociopaths---no conscience, manipulative etc. Fascinating stuff because they apparently have some insight that they are "different", missing a piece. Pretty scary but also sad.