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Super Contributor
Posts: 2,916
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

On 3/9/2015 Colonel Meow said:
On 3/9/2015 Cakers1 said:
On 3/9/2015 Colonel Meow said:
On 3/9/2015 Cakers1 said:

A diagnosis cannot be made on one trait, such as lying. Adult children of alcoholics often have that trait.

I'm not sure why the OP feels her ex was a sociopath, but I'm certainly glad she found a better life.

All the best to you ckr.

This is true. Not every manipulative liar is a sociopath. (In fact, very few of these are likely true sociopaths.) There is much, much more that goes into this diagnosis. I've worked in mental health for over a decade, often with a forensic population, and can tell you that I've probably worked with less than 2 dozen (or so) within that time frame. Also, I'll add that Psychology Today is not a very well respected publication in the mental health field.

CM: The APA owned it back in the 80's. I used to subscribe back then when I was in grad school. I don't know about it today in terms of reliability, but it was designed more for the general public to understand psy topics. I haven't read it in decades.

I think this would be a very accurate way of describing it, Cakers. Not saying, of course, that it is a "bad" source of information - only that it presents topics in a very basic conceptual format that can (at times) trivialize the subject matter.

CM: Agree - it's not bad just not as professional as it was when the APA had control over it.

Super Contributor
Posts: 482
Registered: ‎04-20-2010

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

On 3/9/2015 mochachino said:

wait- you're still in the same social circle as someone you had a brief marriage with 28 years ago?

How is that possible?

No - I said "he told our social circle at the time" - I meant the friends we had in common at the time we dated and were married - not people I socialize with now - he lives about 1000 mies away, thank goodness!!

Cakers - I believe he is a sociopath due to many behaviors, not just lying....maybe I am throwing the term around too loosely, but he is a disturbed individual who has done destructive things to many people...

Super Contributor
Posts: 2,916
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

On 3/9/2015 ckr1147 said:
On 3/9/2015 mochachino said:

wait- you're still in the same social circle as someone you had a brief marriage with 28 years ago?

How is that possible?

No - I said "he told our social circle at the time" - I meant the friends we had in common at the time we dated and were married - not people I socialize with now - he lives about 1000 mies away, thank goodness!!

Cakers - I believe he is a sociopath due to many behaviors, not just lying....maybe I am throwing the term around too loosely, but he is a disturbed individual who has done destructive things to many people...

ckr: It's ok - as I said I'm glad you were able to move on and have a good life with a good husband.

Super Contributor
Posts: 482
Registered: ‎04-20-2010

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

On 3/9/2015 ashleigh dupray said:

OP so 30 years ago was 1985? Then who was the first husband you married to in 1970 and bought two homes with for three years?

Not sure what you are referring to, but I was married the first time in 1968 - and bought two homes with that husband and divorced in 1976 (I think) - married second time in 1985 for six months - been with current husband since 1986...but have known him since 1962...hopefully that answered your question?

Super Contributor
Posts: 482
Registered: ‎04-20-2010

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

Thank you Cakers :-)

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,251
Registered: ‎11-24-2014

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

On 3/9/2015 ckr1147 said:
On 3/9/2015 mochachino said:

wait- you're still in the same social circle as someone you had a brief marriage with 28 years ago?

How is that possible?

No - I said "he told our social circle at the time" - I meant the friends we had in common at the time we dated and were married - not people I socialize with now - he lives about 1000 mies away, thank goodness!!

Cakers - I believe he is a sociopath due to many behaviors, not just lying....maybe I am throwing the term around too loosely, but he is a disturbed individual who has done destructive things to many people...

okay, I see. He said it back then, but you were just made aware of it now.

I guess for me after all this time it would not have hurt me, especially since you have the best revenge. You've lived a good life and are happy in the end.

I'm done with P.C. Just say what you mean and mean what you say. It's easier.
Super Contributor
Posts: 482
Registered: ‎04-20-2010

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

On 3/9/2015 mochachino said:
On 3/9/2015 ckr1147 said:
On 3/9/2015 mochachino said:

wait- you're still in the same social circle as someone you had a brief marriage with 28 years ago?

How is that possible?

No - I said "he told our social circle at the time" - I meant the friends we had in common at the time we dated and were married - not people I socialize with now - he lives about 1000 mies away, thank goodness!!

Cakers - I believe he is a sociopath due to many behaviors, not just lying....maybe I am throwing the term around too loosely, but he is a disturbed individual who has done destructive things to many people...

okay, I see. He said it back then, but you were just made aware of it now.

I guess for me after all this time it would not have hurt me, especially since you have the best revenge. You've lived a good life and are happy in the end.

thanks you mochachino - I was surprised that I felt hurt and angry after all these years - guess all those old feelings were dredged up - but you are right - if he had not done what he did - I would not have reconnected with my husband and had my son, so it's all good in the end :-)

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,752
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

I've had my doubts, but I am no expert. I just stay far away from people who seem hurtful in that cold way. I have known a few and there seem to be quite a few in public life.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,198
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

I sure enjoyed reading the magazine (Psychology Today) many, many years ago. Same with Psych classes. Way, way back in the day........lol. I know, I know .... times and things (from A to Z) have changed, big time! And, now, back to The Bachelor chat/thread.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Super Contributor
Posts: 280
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Have you ever been involved with a sociopath?

On 3/9/2015 Topaz Gem said:
On 3/9/2015 jewelfool said:

My soon to be ex SIL is, I believe, a sociopath. What he has put my family through in 2 years is indescribable..yet not one feeling of remorse or emotion. He beat our pregnant daughter and said it was her fault for trying to change him. He's quite charming to some, but we knew the minute we met him he had mental problems. We BEGGED, pleaded, and even threatened to disown her if she married him, but it did no good. He already had her brainwashed and trying to isolate her from her family. Thankfully, we did not disown her and "played the game" until the day she called us to come get her. They were married 3 months. She just had a baby and will always have to deal with him because he has parental rights, too.

It must be so hard to see a child go through that despite all of your warnings. I guess that some people have to learn the hard way. I'm just glad that your daughter didn't feel so isolated that she couldn't call you for help. I hope she's doing okay now.

Thank you, she is doing very well. Thank goodness I stayed in touch and let her know we were always there for her. The hardest part for us is trying not to say "We told you" every time something comes up. Unconditional love of parents is what gets us all through and the biggest blessing of all is we have a beautiful new grandson (which by the way, the sociopath claims we found him on the internet to trap him into fathering us a grandson because we only have granddaughters).