Community Chat

[sunala]

Do you think that some of the posts on VP are created only by the poster's imagination? They write a long, very detailed story about their dire problems with their family, children, men, and/or jobs.

Then they get pages and pages of replies with sincere advice, because the nice people of the board believe the story and sincerely want to help. The thread goes on for hundreds of posts but then they just start repeating the same advice because nobody wants to read the earlier posts.

I think many of these "problems" are fairy tales made up by the poster, mainly for attention or because they have nothing better to do.

To those who make them up, I hope you will get help.

[sylviahomeatlast]

I used to be so sympathetic and wracked my brain to find some words that might help these people . now, I'm , unfortunately more cynical--when I continue to read from some same poster, and nothing seems to fall into place nor makes sense, I can't believe anything I read from that poster---these people don't want advice they want to be pitied, to be victims

[sylviahomeatlast]

they need professional help IMO

[azterry!]

I've always liked good fiction.

You have to admit there are some talented storytellers around here!

I think it's a hobby for some of them

[lulu2]

Some stories I think are pure fiction. Unfortunately some of the more outrageous ones about dysfunctional families, I think are true.

[Missouri Heartlander]

I think I've been snookered a few times, I'm sure. Is the OP sitting there laughing at us who give back sincere responses? Probably. I'd still rather trust somewhat than to be jaded. I've lent money to a FB friend and she paid me back. I also made monetary gifts twice because I was sure the internet friend was in dire straits. I don't feel like a sucker.

[dooBdoo]

I'm sure I've been snookered. As others have said, I used to invest time in trying to offer help, even look up and provide resources. Now, not so much. Whether the OP returns or not, often they pick and choose which posters they'll acknowledge. A pattern develops if the responses indicate a desire for nothing but agreement with the OP (or ego strokes).

I really do hate to see the resulting arguments among posters who comment. If that's the impetus of the original post, that's sad.

In general, most any topic with resulting advice might be of service to others who have genuine problems. That, in itself, makes it worthwhile in my humble opinion.

And if the OP is writing fiction and laughing at the respondents... well, that says everything about them and nothing about us.

[I like celery]

If a poster only responds to certain comments, I usually think they need more understanding and empathy than ever. IMHO, I think they haven't gotten to a place yet where they can take the other perspectives - that may be more difficult to accept - into consideration. I hope they eventually can get to that place, but I know it isn't always easy. What bugs me about the threads asking for advice/help is the number of people that are so quick to assume it's not authentic, and look for inconsistencies, etc.

[------]

On 1/1/2014 i like celery said:

If a poster only responds to certain comments, I usually think they need more understanding and empathy than ever. IMHO, I think they haven't gotten to a place yet where they can take the other perspectives - that may be more difficult to accept - into consideration. I hope they eventually can get to that place, but I know it isn't always easy. What bugs me about the threads asking for advice/help is the number of people that are so quick to assume it's not authentic, and look for inconsistencies, etc.

When asking for advice it's polite to try to reply to all sincere posts. I know here polite doesn't mean squat but I'm saying at least make an effort to thank others after they've responded to one's request for input. Selecting only the good-sounding replies for thanks defeats the purpose of starting a help me thread.

Posters have been burned by deceitful people writing lengthy tug-on-the-heartstrings stories. Many have been hoaxes and those hoaxes have hurt those who have tried to help the person who claims to be in distress. I think this is why people search for inconsistencies.

[I like celery]

On 1/1/2014 ------ said:

On 1/1/2014 i like celery said:

If a poster only responds to certain comments, I usually think they need more understanding and empathy than ever. IMHO, I think they haven't gotten to a place yet where they can take the other perspectives - that may be more difficult to accept - into consideration. I hope they eventually can get to that place, but I know it isn't always easy. What bugs me about the threads asking for advice/help is the number of people that are so quick to assume it's not authentic, and look for inconsistencies, etc.

When asking for advice it's polite to try to reply to all sincere posts. I know here polite doesn't mean squat but I'm saying at least make an effort to thank others after they've responded to one's request for input. Selecting only the good-sounding replies for thanks defeats the purpose of starting a help me thread.

Posters have been burned by deceitful people writing lengthy tug-on-the-heartstrings stories. Many have been hoaxes and those hoaxes have hurt those who have tried to help the person who claims to be in distress. I think this is why people search for inconsistencies.

I don't disagree with you that it would be polite to reply to all sincere posts. I stated in my original post that my guess is they aren't at a place to accept the other perspectives. Not saying they shouldn't acknowledge all posts.

Yes, I realize people have been burned by hoaxes, but there are some posters who immediately look for inconsistencies, and scrutinize every single word.