Have you Ever Lived by Yourself? Did you Adjust We... - Page 5

Trinity11 · ‎11-16-2014

Like Shanus I have never lived by myself. I married very young and have been with my husband for 43 years. For health reasons, I was told I should never live alone so it has never been an option.

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

I've lived alone most of my life and LOVE it and especially more so as I'm getting older. I love going to family functions and over the years small children keep enlarging the family as nieces/nephew get married and have kids. Family barbeques are large but when there are small kids around I find that the meltdowns and screaming are ok for a little while but when I leave and walk into my house - I love the peace and quiet that awaits!.

CatsyCline · ‎07-24-2013

I married at 20 . We were happy for the first 5 years or so. Things changed, we changed. Divorced at 31.

I went through a succession of roomates, then found reasonable apartments in order to live alone and save. I enjoyed being on my own. I had stressful work days in HiTech, had BFFs to go clubbing with til the wee hours on weekends, managed my money, saved a lot more and was able to buy a home on my own.

Being at the closing was a WTH am I doing!! experience. There I was, just me, with the mortgage guy as the stacks of papers passed and I signed away my peace of mind. But I did it, no help from anyone!! The mortgage, the taxes, the leaky pipes, the fridge dying.

Living alone taught me to live within my means. If I got sick or hurt my back, I had to figure it out. I became resilient despite starting out sheltered and dependent on a man. Nothing against marriage. I have a SO now but in my heart of hearts I miss those days. No one to answer to, no one coming around the corner, hangdog expression, asking whats for dinner!!

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

Yes, I lived on my own most of the time in college because I was a serious student and needed quiet to study. Even after marriage, DH had a career that necessitated a lot of travel...sometimes for two weeks at a time. I loved it. When the children came, I loved them dearly, but I sometimes missed the solitude.

My closest friend's husband passed last week. She went from her nuclear family to marriage. They never had children, so she is really feeling uncomfortable being alone right now. There is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I never felt lonely when I was alone. Everyone is different.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

I got married 2 weeks out of high school in 1970, was married for 43 yrs. ,my husband died in 2013, i live alone with my 3 goldens, it is very hard to get use to it ,so do it while you are young.I have little contact with any one.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

Cumbercookie13 · ‎05-06-2016

I lived with my grandparents from the day I was born right up until my grandfather's death in 2014. (My mom was right there, but she worked overnight shifts and it was decided it was better for me to live with her mom & dad, and I just ended up staying). I had wanted to move out in my 20's, but my grandmom's health took a turn for the worse, and my grandfather wanted me to stay with him for financial and emotional support.

So in November of 2014 after Pop died I inherited the house and was by myself for the first time (although my immediate family were in the same town and just minutes away). I sold the house in April and moved into a one-bedroom apartment a month ago. I enjoy being on my own. It does get lonely sometimes, and at night it can be a little spooky, but I enjoy the freedom, and I do have my family, I see them often. I'm enjoying this stage of my life. I'm 42, I give much younger people a lot of credit for striking out on their own. It's not easy!

JBKO · ‎12-16-2011

It looks like most everyone who has lived alone, really enjoyed it. I was going through my clothes while packing and I threw away a few pants I'd use when my sister had her boyfriend over. Now that I'll be on my own, I can be in my underwear instead lol.

Fingers crossed I'll get married in the next 5 or so years. If not, I may consider a dog. I'm so sad that I won't be living with Leopold, my sister's cockapoo anymore.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

Ms tyrion2 · ‎05-08-2017

I moved away from family, from the Midwest to AZ, when I was 19 years old. I had roommates for the first several years I was here and also a couple of live-in SOs.

The majority of the time I've lived by myself. I intentionally do not say I live alone. Because i am not alone. I have a very close circle of friends. Friends that are my family.

Do I get lonely occasionally? Of course. Even people in a household full of people can be lonely, but for the most part i am content.

I love my condo. I love the town i live in. Two of my very best friends are less than 10 minutes away. I have a full and active social life, but i always have my home, my refuge to escape to when I need to recharge.

I think everyone should have the chance to be by themselves for at least a little time in their lives. You learn how resilient and capable you can be. It's very empowering.

Burnsite · ‎03-10-2010

I enjoy living on my own very much.

The drawbacks are small things but there are some if you are a single woman: moving heavy furniture, turning the inner-spring matress, interior painting all by oneself, putting up storm shutters alone (which I do every storm season). Ocasionally I cook an unexpectedly great impromptu dinner and it's weird to eat it alone. No danger of that with most of my cooking, though!

As I often work from home the benefits are numerous: time to hear myself think, peace and quiet so I can concentrate, long time-blocks for reading, playing music favorites over and over if I want.

I engage in regular social activities and am part of my community; but my home is my sanctuary, it really is. Though the house is kind of rickety, it's my biosphere.

Alas, one of my cats died recently and the surviving cat is slowly fading away. She is mourning her old lifetime friend. I would say it's not living by oneself when there are loving creatures to tend at home. I won't have her forever, but I am valuing the weeks or months I may still have. Home life will def. be lonelier without them.

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

@CatsyCline wrote:
I married at 20 . We were happy for the first 5 years or so. Things changed, we changed. Divorced at 31.

I went through a succession of roomates, then found reasonable apartments in order to live alone and save. I enjoyed being on my own. I had stressful work days in HiTech, had BFFs to go clubbing with til the wee hours on weekends, managed my money, saved a lot more and was able to buy a home on my own.

Being at the closing was a WTH am I doing!! experience. There I was, just me, with the mortgage guy as the stacks of papers passed and I signed away my peace of mind. But I did it, no help from anyone!! The mortgage, the taxes, the leaky pipes, the fridge dying.

Living alone taught me to live within my means. If I got sick or hurt my back, I had to figure it out. I became resilient despite starting out sheltered and dependent on a man. Nothing against marriage. I have a SO now but in my heart of hearts I miss those days. No one to answer to, no one coming around the corner, hangdog expression, asking whats for dinner!!

@CatsyCline I had to laugh at your post cuz it's my story (other than I never married). Dad was a child of the depression so I had it drilled into my head about living within my means. I bought my first own home at the age of 21 in 1976 (tiny but it worked for me!). Back then there were few single women buying homes and my deed devoted 2 paragraphs to the fact that this home was being bought alone, by a single woman and no other stakeholders involved. I'm now on my 4th home and today this is commonplace.

I had been in a 30+ year relationship with my SO. We both maintained separate residences (I always wanted a place to retreat for time by myself or when he drove me crazy). Sadly, he's still the love of my life but 6 years ago dx with moderate Alzheimers so his daughter moved him with her until he became angry and very hard to handle. He is now in a memory care unit and has calmed considerably Luckily, I had always been very good friends with the daughter that lives nearby and handles his medical care. She calls or sends emails telling me how his situation is and I visit him every few months.