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Esteemed Contributor
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Re: Halloween Jokes

[ Edited ]

What is a vampire's least favorite food?

 

Steak

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Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.Woman TongueWoman LOL

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~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~
Honored Contributor
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What kind of beans do monsters eat?  Human beans.

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What do you call 2 spiders that just got married?

 

Newlywebbed!

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.... ~ S & G
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Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, "A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?" The other monster replied, "Be a gentleman and roll them back to her." 


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What do you call a deer that's lost its eyes in a zombie attack?

 

No-eye-deer!

Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.... ~ S & G
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,220
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

Re: Halloween Jokes

[ Edited ]

 

Why did a scarecrow win a prize?

 

He was outstanding in his field.

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An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.
 
In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
 
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
 
As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, 'What the heck is going on here?'
 
The drunk, still staring down replied: 'I think I just beat the s*** out of a ghost.'
 
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Esteemed Contributor
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Thanks for this thread, I'm  going to tell some of these to my younger granddaugher,Ava.  She's a little jokester.👻

Trees are the lungs of the Earth