HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA - Page 10

nycgrl · ‎05-08-2012

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
I forgot to mention we live together. We share expenses and I am here for Lindsay and have been since she was born. My daughter is divorced and can't afford to make it on her own. Therefore, when she makes a decision to move it affects my life.
@Lindsays Grandma

She decided she's going and expects you to just uproot yourself and doesn't care what you think? Let her go, and stay where you are. Both my sisters moved to Florida at different times and stayed only a few years and moved back home.

IMO ..... Let her go, and stay where you are!

@Lindsays Grandma - I have to agree. You need to let her go. If I were you, I wouldn't uproot myself on a whim. If she has a job lined up, she should be able to manage. If she is dependent on your money because you've always provided - it's time she learned how to be independent. I understand you are concerned for your grandchild, but the schools are good in Florida. Maybe she could leave her with you until she settles down and then everyone could have a better indication as whether it will work out or not. I certainly wouldn't be supporting a 50+ woman at this point. It's time to start thinking of yourself and as harsh as it is, she is a grown woman. Do not let her "bully" you or make you feel guilty. You've given up your whole life for her - it's your turn to be selfish. She sure is thinking of only herself. She is not even considering the impact on her child. Maybe she has it in her mind or through the internet that there is actually something here in Florida for her besides a job (a man maybe?). Chatting online. She seems to be very impulsive. Time for you to put your foot down and stay put. She can go - let her!

ladyroxanne · ‎03-09-2010

@Lindsays Grandma

what would your daughter do if you dug in your heels and said you were not moving to florida. she is dictating where you go because she obviously expects your support financially. that may change the outcome drastically.

I am still oxox · ‎03-09-2010

This sounds like a no-win situation for all.

It almost sounds like a huge power play.The mom feels her daughter is ill equipped to live on her own and the Mom feels like she is financially unstable and needs the daughter around for money.

I think there is a great deal of co-dependency going on here and maybe an outside party an mediate this situation

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.

faeriemoon · ‎03-14-2010

I don't think the point is how great Florida is or isn't. The OP is facing a huge life change and is scared on both ends of things. If the daughter leaves, the OP will be alone and will also be worried about the daughter's finances and whether or not she regrets the rash decision. She will also be worried about her granddaughter who she has helped raise. On top of that, she will be worried about her own situation including the possibility of having to move to a more affordable residence.

The three of them are a family; they have all been together for years. We're talking about the break-up of a family here. And quite frankly, the daughter sounds rather bratty in this situation by not at least asking her mother how she feels about this move.

~What a terrible era in which idiots govern the blind.~ William Shakespeare

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

There seems to be a lot going on in this situation. If your daughter does not have a learning disability, she needs to look into schooling or training to help her get a better career. By 50, one should be able to support oneself. Our parents don't live forever.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@Lindsays Grandma

Unless I missed it, we know nothing about this job opportunity and how much it pays. Please DO NOT fight with your daughter about this.

IMO ..... It's time your daughter figures out how to live on her own, before you pass on. Stay where you are and figure out how to make this work for you .... a part time job, a roommate, situation ... or whatever.

If your daughter REALLY wants to make this move, let her go .... but tell her you aren't going, and she better make sure she has everything figured out BEFORE she moves out.

DukeBlueNan · ‎05-23-2010

Let her go. She'll be back! Good luck.

Krimpette · ‎03-09-2010

Sounds to me iike the time has come to part ways. You stay where you want to live and she goes where she wants to. Then neither one wil be miserable and blaming the other. Each of you will have to figure out the finances to make that happen.

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

@Lindsays Grandma

My question to you, Can you make it on your own in AZ without your daughter? If the answer is Yes, then stay in AZ if you are so adverse to moving to FL.

Yes there is alot of emotional things going on with this situation, but when you break it down to the basics, it is whether you can physically and financially remain where you are.

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
So you took care of your granddaughter.

Good for you.

That's what grandparents do.

You certainly are not the only grandmother to take care of the grandchild.

What do you want?

A medal?

Just because you did take care of your granddaughter, does not mean that your daughter owes you anything more than just a "Thank-you".

Are you serious? You remarks are WAY out of line!

IMHO, any grandparent who cares for their grandchild and does all of this for them, DESERVES a medal!

Good grief!

My teenaged kids showed up on my "mother's" front porch and when she went to the door, she didn't even know who they were, that's how much she cares about them.

That kind of love and caregiving that @Lindsays Grandma has shown is priceless!