HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA - Page 21

PenneyT · ‎02-27-2015

I've cried more tears and said more prayers for my kids than anyone else, hands down, so I know how hard it can be.

But that does not give us the right to live someone else's life.

One of my kids quit a -what I thought was- great job with a national company. He asked our advice and we advised against it. He did it anyway. I not only had to "bit my tongue", I had to chomp down on that thing, lol! Well, he sure learned a lesson. But you know what, after a while he got another job, one he came to love, and is doing well. He laughs now about it, and says he learned the hard way, lol! But isn't that how it has to be for all of us? I know that I sure remember the 'bad' lessons! Do we protect our kids to the point that we imprison them, for our own fears? That's not fair, to them or us. We need to be able to step back after a while and say "I've done the best I can, now they go on their own way."

'Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.' - Will Rogers

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

A very wise post @PenneyT

Cakers3 · ‎06-17-2015

@CouponQueen wrote:
For the life of me..I don't get the RUDE responses to people. Yes, it is a free country and we can say what we wish within guidelines but seriously it sounds like some have cheerios that have been perpetually soiled in every morning.

I totally understand where the OP is coming from. If you don't have grandchildren or children that you live with and are extremely close to..then you would not understand.

People do not read and comprehend..she is very distraught this is her support system and her FAMILY an vice versa...I would be very upset too.

They live together for financial reasons and also she cared for her granddaughter. This isn't like she just came back from a wonderful vacation and wants to relocate. She is doing this on the whim..and sounds like a not very well thought out plan either.

Those of you who said what is the big deal that is what grandparents do? Oh really?? They raise their grandchildren, take them to/from school...home work etc. Not your average grandparent..

Plaid Pants - why are you so darn nasty? I find your responses on every thread to be rude and inconsiderate....but when you are on here with your problems and issues it is a different story..you don't like the rude responses..I can think of a couple different issues you have posted about..and boo hooed about people not being nice. Stomping your feet cause daddy didn't respond to your birthday as you wanted/expected..but you have to be rude to just about everybody..

Sometimes if you have nothing NICE to say..why bother say it at all? Keep it to yourself.

There are a couple that stand out here all the time that just don't have it in them to be NICE to others but when their great dilemma is posted ..different story...they don't want negative responses..

Filters and Socials skills should be mandatory online education before having access to the internet.

Do people really enjoy kicking people when they are down? Somebody comes here with a burden they share and they get kicked..

The OP was heartfelt and sincere..I don't think she was asking to be beat up for having great apprehension on this move..that she isn't happy with..that her daughter has not planned out very well..including uprooting her daughter who is a teenage on a whim...major moves cost a lot of time and money...and you should also have done a heck of a lot research to make sure you have everything covered, thought out etc. Teenagers already face many issues/hurdles in life..so lets on a whim, because you want to..move them to another state, climate etc without a thought how it may affect them..and more so if their grandmother who sounds to be the most stable influence in her life...was looking into assisted living ...

I personally know somebody who had her grandmother live with them and raise them from infant to 12 years old..falling out happened when grandma could not longer physically be babysitter, maid and chief bottle washer as they say..and out the door she went..well that poor girl is having severe mental and emotional issues..is in therapy and the therapist said you took away without warning and unfairly in her mind, the most person she loved most and raised her..while mommy was being a professional student and daddy was working four jobs to support them so mommy could be... So there is just more than the OP to be concerned about making such a move without a reason/plan in place...just uproot children because the parent wants to..very selfish in my book..family decision when the parents get a job offer they can't turn down, or military life etc..but single mom who hasn't been able to swing it financially on her own...just doesn't do that.

The OP cannot just abandon them and send them off on this venture alone knowning it is her daugher and grandaughter who rely on her also for a support network and financial support as well.

I wish I had the answers Lindsey...I feel your pain. Maybe suggest she visit the area... has she chose a particular area that she wants to move to? Maybe visit that for a couple weeks to get the feel of the area - etc..with an open mind.. I am sending you cyber hugs and support..

@CouponQueen Well said especially to Plaid Pants.

@Plaid Pants2

"" Compassion is a verb."-Thich Nhat Hanh

Noel7 · ‎03-09-2010

Dear @Lindsays Grandma

I was thinking about your plight last night. I think there is an issue that has been left unsaid that must be worrying you.

You bought your first house in 1954, I read that the daughter of which you speak is now 51 and Lindsay is 13. You had hip surgery a year ago which has not healed and has left you with chronic pain.

The thought of your daughter leaving must be very difficult for you, they have been your support system as you have been theirs. And... there might be financial difficulties if left on your own.

If I were you, I'd be anxious.

I think you might want to consider assisted living in some way if she does decide for sure she's leaving, and if you really don't want to go with her.

I do know that Nevada has people that help seniors find assisted housing, we knew someone who used the service for her father.

I understand this is a tough time for you, I hope you can find others in your area that can help you plan for your future. Good luck to you

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

As many before have stated we are only hearing one side of this story and it would be interesting to hear the perspective of the other 2 people involved. From what I've read here - either the OP is very controlling and her daughter is struggling to get away from that or the daughter doesn't have 3 brain cells all functioning and the OP is struggling with that. Since we don't know these people and are only hearing one side we will never know.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

@151949 wrote:
As many before have stated we are only hearing one side of this story and it would be interesting to hear the perspective of the other 2 people involved. From what I've read here - either the OP is very controlling and her daughter is struggling to get away from that or the daughter doesn't have 3 brain cells all functioning and the OP is struggling with that. Since we don't know these people and are only hearing one side we will never know.

We only hear one side of all your many tales. These people are struggling with a serious situation, there is no need to insult them

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

Oh for heaven's sake - she wants to move them to Florida not to some third world disease ridden, war torn country. They don't even like where they currently live. Mountain out of a molehill.

cherry · ‎03-09-2010

@151949 wrote:
Oh for heaven's sake - she wants to move them to Florida not to some third world disease ridden, war torn country.

Just because you like it there down 'there doesn't mean everyone does Living where you are happy is important, and acting like the OP isn't telling the truth, or her daughter only has 3 brain cells is nasty