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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

I was born and raised in Queens and Long Island in New York.  I moved to Los Angeles, CA in 1965 with my second husband, our 2 month old baby girl and my two children from a former marriage.  We lived in CA for 40 years and my youngest daughter,  granddaughter, and I have been living in AZ for the past ten years.

 

Suddenly out of the blue my youngest who was raised in CA and is a California Girl wants us to move to Winter Park, Florida.  My parents moved to Florida from New York when Dad retired and my sister and brother-in-law also moved there from New York when he retired.  I visited several times in the winter only.

 

My sister never spent a summer in Florida, they had a house on the lake in Maine and to this day she still goes there every summer.

 

Two doctors, a very dear friend of mine who grew up in Florida and my sister have told her all the reasons why she should not make the move.  I in no way have a  desire to go there and have talked until I am blue in the face but nothing from anyone is getting through to her.

 

I know there are some of you living in Florida and maybe you like it there and I mean no disrespect but can someone please try to explain what she is facing.  The second time I visited my sister in Davie she, her husband and some neighbors along with me sat outside listening to music and talking and in the middle of the night my legs were itching so badly I couldn't stand it.  Both of my legs were covered in bites, I was wearing slacks and never felt a thing bite me and I suffered for days.  Went to a pharmacy and was told to take Benadryl.  Thank goodness for long pants because I had to get on a plane to go back to CA and my legs looked horrible.  How about the humidity? Even that doesn't get through to her.  We live in AZ, hot and dry. A/C on 24/7 from April through November, same as FL.  Talk about electric bills!!!  She won't have to look for a job, there is one available but we would have to stay in a hotel until we can find a place to live.  I just can't buy into it, not for me.  Can't go back to CA, housing is way too expensive.

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to make this so long but once I got started I couldn't stop.  Any advice will be appreciated.   Some way, some how I have to stop her from doing this.  At my age and chronic pain the last place my body wants to be is in Florida.  No friend to stay with, my three dearest and closest friends passed away from breast cancer.  My sister, a widow lives a busy life, lots of money living in Boca Grande and her advice is not to make the move, she offers nothing else.  Can anyone come up with something I can say to my daughter to discourage her? Anyone? Please?  Excuse me if there are any words misspelled, I did spellcheck but it isn't the best.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Valued Contributor
Posts: 666
Registered: ‎09-05-2014

Re: HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

[ Edited ]

It's my opinion you should let your daughter go with your blessings. It's her life, and she needs to experience and live out her dreams. I am sure you will miss her, but pushing her to stay may push her away in ways you don't want.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,690
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

You want to keep your grown daughter from living her own life by telling her she'll suffer bug bites is she goes?

 

But you left NY and went to CA because you found a new man, so that was okay? 

 

You were living your dream. Why not let your daughter live hers?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,219
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

Yes. Your daughter deserves her own life.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 55,861
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

Do you have to go with her?  If this was my daughter, I'd tell her " bon voyage" and stay right where I was.  Why does she want to go?

 

I lived in one of those humid, warm climates in Houston for over 30 years and wild horses couldn't get me back.  Florida is even worse.  All kinds of bugs, huge roaches with wings that fly at you (palmetto bugs), lizards in the house and all kinds of snakes (now boa constrictors) and even roaming alligators.  Air conditioning on while you're cooking Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.  Everything get moldy and mildewed, hurricane evacuations, frizzy hair and constantly feeling damp.  Summers hot, hot, hotter.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,454
Registered: ‎01-13-2013

Re: HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

@Lindsays Grandma You mentioned this the other day & said that, if she does, you will go to an Assisted Living - did you change your mind on that?

 

Where is your daughter planning to stay when she gets there?

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

I forgot to mention we live together. We share expenses and I am here for Lindsay and have been since she was born.  My daughter is divorced and can't afford to make it on her own.  Therefore, when she makes a decision to move it affects my life.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Valued Contributor
Posts: 666
Registered: ‎09-05-2014

Re: HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

[ Edited ]

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:

I forgot to mention we live together. We share expenses and I am here for Lindsay and have been since she was born.  My daughter is divorced and can't afford to make it on her own.  Therefore, when she makes a decision to move it affects my life.


I didn't realize the move included you to go with her. Well, that does add hair to the donkey. This will not be an easy decision for either of you and I wish you well.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,540
Registered: ‎07-26-2014

Re: HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

@Lindsays Grandma

"My daughter is divorced and can't afford to make it on her own."

 

In your original posting you stated....

"She won't have to look for a job, there is one available"

 

 

 

Are you now saying you cannot afford to stay where you are now if your daughter moves since ya'll are sharing expenses?

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."


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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: HELP MY DAUGHTER WANTS TO MOVE TO FLORIDA

Yorkieonmypillow...Unfortunately the cost is prohibitive.  I remember when my parents were in an assisted living place and that was many years ago the cost back then was over two thousand a month.  That was in Florida. 

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam