Community Chat

[RedTop]

I had a close family member who was very manipulative, and loved guilt trips. She pushed me too far when I was 17, and that was the end of the line for her guilt trips on me. No one else guilts me into anything.

[kdgn]

On 11/7/2014 Ford1224 said:

I have to say the last time I was faced with this, I did walk away and have stayed away. But that was because what I had been accused of was ridiculous.

If it's something I feel I actually did, I have a harder time to not defend myself. I am just being honest here.

Yes, but if it's something you actually did you must assess whether or not it's worth a guilt trip and how long you feel you have to carry around that guilt.

If you know what you did was right or correct under the circumstances then there is no reasonable guilt trip. You did what was right, the other person/s disagree, it becomes their problem and not yours.

I stopped feeling guilty a long time ago for perceived wrongs; when I know I have done the right thing I have a clear conscience. If, when looking back, I can see I may have been in error then I will apologize if necessary and move on. Hindsight is wonderful but it's not available when you need it.

[Qwackertoo]

Unless it is an all expense paid trip . . . and they are paying . . . nope not going there.

[misspammie]

don't need anyone to put me on a guilt trip. I'm an expert on navigating my own

[LilacTree]

On 11/7/2014 kdgn said:

On 11/7/2014 Ford1224 said:

I have to say the last time I was faced with this, I did walk away and have stayed away. But that was because what I had been accused of was ridiculous.

If it's something I feel I actually did, I have a harder time to not defend myself. I am just being honest here.

Yes, but if it's something you actually did you must assess whether or not it's worth a guilt trip and how long you feel you have to carry around that guilt.

If you know what you did was right or correct under the circumstances then there is no reasonable guilt trip. You did what was right, the other person/s disagree, it becomes their problem and not yours.

I stopped feeling guilty a long time ago for perceived wrongs; when I know I have done the right thing I have a clear conscience. If, when looking back, I can see I may have been in error then I will apologize if necessary and move on. Hindsight is wonderful but it's not available when you need it.

Yes, good ole' hindsight, my nemesis. I did think at the time I was doing the right thing. So I have to walk away from this on my own, as the rest of you have.

[LilacTree]

On 11/7/2014 misspammie said:

don't need anyone to put me on a guilt trip. I'm an expert on navigating my own

That's me. Yep. Same thing.

[151949]

It depends upon the situation. You may be a guilty party and may NEED to listen - not just hear - but actually listen - to the other parties POV. I see that did not occur to those who answered here though.

[game-on]

ford.... I have heard myself say ""i don't do guilt"".... this usually stops the other person in their tracks..... I think some people use it deflect from their own ""issues"" and try to make you the bad person..... I refuse to deal with anything at that level....

[LilacTree]

On 11/7/2014 happy housewife said:

It depends upon the situation. You may be a guilty party and may NEED to listen - not just hear - but actually listen - to the other parties POV. I see that did not occur to those who answered here though.

No, but of course it would to you, since that's what you DO!!!

[dooBdoo]

Excellent post, kdgn. (Post #11)

I believe nearly everyone does the best we can with the tools and experience we have at the time, tries to learn from experience, and "when we know better we do better." (paraphrasing Maya Angelou)

Seeing our actions with clear eyes, talking about it without belaboring, and then apologizing is honest and forthright. If the other person can't let it go, I think we owe it to ourselves to let it go and allow them to be the (proud?) owner of the problem.