Guests who invite themselves?! - Page 8

Daisy Sunflower · ‎10-26-2010

It's hard when you're put on the spot. Of course, you always think of something you could have said...after the fact.

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

@scatcat wrote:
If she wants to hang out with you, why doesn’t she invite you to her house

My thoughts exactly. If I wanted to socialize more with someone, I would extend an invitation to my house - not pressure the person to invite me over.

I just don't understanad some people I guess.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

I can't understand why parents don't teach their children, unless it's professional, never ask anyone for anything. It's that straightforward, that simple.

No one likes being put in the position of feeling they have to give something, loan something or do something they would rather not.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

I doubt that she wanted something from you, as in checking out your belongings. I would guess that she's not socially adept and might have a grating personality (you mentioned that your husband is not fond of her.) Maybe too much to drink on top of that?

You did absolutely the right thing. All but the most brazen of us employ white lies at times.

I would put the whole thing out of your mind. No harm, no foul :-) And remember, when anyone posts a personal situation here and opens themselves up to comments, you'll get 'em all. :-)

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

I can understand how the OP was stuck off-guard and surprised. I have a smallish beach place and the first time someone tried to invite themselves to mooch a free vacation off me, I stuttered and stammered before I just blurrted out "no, I'm not running a free hotel!". Now I'm prepared and calmly say "I don't have enough room to have guests, but here's a list of accomodations in the area. I'd be happy to meet you for lunch one day". There's always the really nervy people who keep pushing, but no one has been successfully invited themselves for even a day!

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

I would be expecting this person to show up unannounced now. Sounds like she was basically pushing you for an invitation. Follow through..,call her and meet for lunch at a restaurant on her side of town....then the ball is in her court. You only bring someone into your home if you want to do so.

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

I haven't had that issue. If I didn't want her to come over, I would have changed the subject and hurried out the door. If she pressed on, I'd say the house is a mess these days. We are getting ready to paint. I wouldn't be talked into it.

libbyannE · ‎10-27-2010

Articles online, in magazines, etc. tell people to reach out in order to make friends. So, that’s what the woman did. You don’t have to take her up on it, but I see nothing wrong with her trying to be friendly. Yes, perhaps it would have been more gracious of her to invite YOU to her home vs. asking you why you don’t invite her over, but maybe she is new to being brave and reaching out so she is a bit awkward at it. Cut her some slack and look at her with a little compassion. Meet her out for a cup of coffee and a chat and try to find out what’s going on in her life.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

I think there's a difference between saying, "Why don't you ever invite me to your house?" and "I would love to get together".

If this woman asked why she hasn't been invited, that's rude. And the way I respond to rudeness is by not answering the direct question, and then being vague in whatever else I say.

If someone reaches out and wants to get together and I didn't particularly want to do that, I would at least have some compassion, and I would be kind. The appropriate way for her to go about this would be to suggest getting together somewhere. Or she could invite you to her house.

But putting someone on the spot and asking why they're never invited to your house is just rude.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
@reiki604

I was thinking along those lines too. I was thinking the poor woman was probably reaching out, trying to make a friend or expand her social circle. Which is what they tell lonely people to do. She thought since this was someone she knows, it would be "safe" and easy for her. And she got rebuffed. I felt bad for her.

I understand reaching out and trying to expand a social circle. But no expert would ever advise anyone to put someone on the spot like that. It's way too aggressive and confrontational. She should suggest meeting for lunch or invite the OP to her own home, something along those lines.

Putting someone on the defensive by questioning what they have or haven't done is not a way to make friends.