Grandchildren Joining Our Family Thru Marriage

JeanLouiseFinch · ‎10-03-2011

Our daughter is marrying someone who has children (a preteen boy and young teen girl) from a previous marriage. My husband and I have always treated them as grandchildren from the start. They've never really addressed us as anything, they just start talking when they want to say something to us. Their dad would refer to us by our first names. The kids are comfortable with us, give hugs when saying hello or goodbye. We're hoping at some point that they will be open to calling us some kind of grandparent name - Nana/Papa, Granny/Pops, Grandma/Grandpa, etc.

With the wedding making it official for them to be part of our family, we would like to do something to recognize that. I'm looking for ideas on where I can find cards that would convey that "welcome to the family" idea and suggestions for a gift to memorialize the day for them. I'm thinking of a heart necklace for the girl but am open to other ideas. I am stumped on what to get the boy. I want it to be something special that he will keep - no video game, gift card, no sports jersey that he'll outgrow.

Any suggestions?

TIA

LindaSal · ‎05-15-2014

I think it's nice that you are so welcoming. A heart necklace is a lovely idea for the girl.

Boys are tough to buy for especially in that age group. If he does like sports, how about a framed picture of a certain team, player or even stadium that he really likes? Sometimes you can even find autographed ones. Just a thought. You will most likely get lots of good suggestions on here. Best wishes to the new happy family

meallen616 · ‎01-10-2013

We wish you all the best. Vector handwritten lettering. We wish you all the best. Farewell card. Vector lettering. Vector handwritten illustration. Leaving stock vector

Imaoldhippie · ‎06-10-2015

I would ask the kids father if he would be comfortable with the kids calling you a grandparent name. If he is ok with that then tell the kids that they are welcome to do so if they chose. I have found that older kids are less likely to be less comfortable with that.

A necklace for the girl sounds nice. Boys, however are much harder to buy something like that for. Maybe an ID bracelet (if he is the type that would wear it.) Or maybe a plaque of some type that he could either set up or hang on the wall in his room.

I wish you the best of luck with everything and the bride and groom too.

I hope this helps.

BE THE PERSON YOUR DOG THINKS YOU ARE! (unknown)

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@JeanLouiseFinch you are so sweet to think of doing something for them, they are lucky to have you. For the boy maybe a watch? As far as a card check on Etsy they have all sorts of unusual cards people make.

Somertime · ‎09-18-2010

Let the boy and the girl decide on their own what they wish to call you. I would get the young man a good watch or an Id bracelet inscribed with his name.

The very best gift you can give them is your love and affection, openly and freely. It is up to them to decide how they will handle their relationship with both of you.

This advice is from personal experience.

Thats Me · ‎03-09-2010

@panda1234 I really like the idea of a watch for the boy. If,you could have the underside engraved with something like "with love from your grandparents" that would be so special. He would appreciate it more and more too, I think.

@JeanLouiseFinch what a lovely concern and thought you have to do this for them. They are lucky kids!

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

I think you should treat them as you would Grandchildren. No gifts,just holiday and birthday. Ask them to call you by whatever you want. Don't force it. Try to keep in touch.

Don't be artificial.

cookie16 · ‎02-21-2012

My thought would be to allow the children time to adjust to the new family dynamics and suggest they call you some form of a grandparent name but understand if they are uneasy about it. They may feel comfortable after awhile just don't force it. A little child is quicker to refer to you as Grandma than an older child. They may feel loyalty to their Mom, her family etc. When I married my husband many years ago, I couldn't refer to them as Mom or Dad, it just wouldn't come through my lips. For years until I had my daughter, I never called them anything, just spoke with them. After my daughter was born, I would refer to them as Grandma or Grandpa, luckily she was always present and we didn't see them too often. I had one Mom and one Dad and those names were saved for them.