Community Chat

[LilacTree]

On 6/25/2014 brii said:

On 6/24/2014 Ford1224 said:

On 6/24/2014 Ford1224 said:

On 6/24/2014 brii said:

Can you look for an obituary, Ford?

Haven't gotten a newspaper in years . . . but you are correct, I can do it online and will do it right now.

Brii . . . you are a genius. I never thought to look for it online and found out she passed away on May 12. I cannot believe no one told me. I did not know until I saw the note on the door last night. I did knock on her door last week and there was no answer. I thought nothing of it, she went out often. OMG, now I have to digest this, I can't believe it has been six weeks since she died and I never knew. All of her door decorations were still there this past weekend. I did notice they are gone today.

I talked to one of my neighbors just last night as I was coming home about the note and she said she didn't notice it. Did she not know either? Now I'm devastated and I sure as he** don't want to die here.

OmGosh, May 12?

Maybe you can some of the other residents can come up with a way to get notification of such things.

Again, I'm sorry about your friend...

Tomorrow the manager will be here again. I am going to suggest to her that a system be set up to notify all tenants immediately when someone dies. We all do not know who is friends with who, and who would be upset because they knew the person and who would not be, so it should go to everyone.

She is a hot and cold person so I have to be careful how I approach this. Unfortunately, I am not out and about the building often because of my physical issues, so I would appreciate at least a flyer stuck in my door as they do with other matters far less important, IMO. Instead I had to learn by reading a note on her door placed there obviously very recently by her daughter. And then to find out she passed two weeks ago.

So I took my note down. It seemed pretty pointless since it is all over and her daughter will most likely not be back . . . plus it's embarrassing to me if other tenants see my long overdue condolence note. And, I hate to add, some of them would find it amusing and even mock it.

Thank you so much for your suggestion, brii, as I never would have thought to look it up online. Other than talking to the manager, there is really nothing else I can do at this point.

[brii]

Ford, there might be some privacy issues. The building may not have authority to make that kind of information "public."

But maybe there can be some agreement among the tenants...

[KathyPet]

I went to my 45th college reunion a couple of weeks ago. I went to a all woman's college. Found out that a classmate who I was friendly with had passed away. She was a retired teacher. Her husband and her father passed in 2012. She was a only child and her mother is in a nursing home with dementia. Here is the really sad part. She had one child, a daughter, and they were estranged and had not spoken in a long time. Evidently they fell out over the daughter's choice of a live in boy friend. She became very withdrawn after her husband's death. They found her body on her kitchen floor with the phone in her hand. She was wearing pajamas and there was a full pot of untouched coffee. her body was not found FOR 6 WEEKS after the estimated date of death. The mailman noticed that the mail was piling up in her mailbox and that her grass was a foot tall. he reported it to his supervisor who notified the police. They broke in and found her. This is so sad that it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

[Deb1010again]

Ford - So sorry to hear about your neighbor/friend and that you missed the date of her passing. IMO your idea of the flyer -- given that's how your bldg manager communicates with residents now -- is a very good idea. Hopefully she'll see it your way and agree to do it. I really do hope so. In the meantime, don't be too hard on yourself or anyone else.

My parents live in a senior community in an independent living apartment building and mom has commented to me about how many people pass in a given month and that it's upsetting. But, like you, she also looks at it from a philosophical perspective. It's all a part of life.

All the best to you.

[LilacTree]

On 6/25/2014 KathyPet said: I went to my 45th college reunion a couple of weeks ago. I went to a all woman's college. Found out that a classmate who I was friendly with had passed away. She was a retired teacher. Her husband and her father passed in 2012. She was a only child and her mother is in a nursing home with dementia. Here is the really sad part. She had one child, a daughter, and they were estranged and had not spoken in a long time. Evidently they fell out over the daughter's choice of a live in boy friend. She became very withdrawn after her husband's death. They found her body on her kitchen floor with the phone in her hand. She was wearing pajamas and there was a full pot of untouched coffee. her body was not found FOR 6 WEEKS after the estimated date of death. The mailman noticed that the mail was piling up in her mailbox and that her grass was a foot tall. he reported it to his supervisor who notified the police. They broke in and found her. This is so sad that it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

OMG that is so horrible. Unfortunately, I do have one daughter who is estranged from all of us really, but fortunately I have three other wonderful daughters.

I suppose this kind of thing happens all too often and it's so very, very sad.

[LilacTree]

On 6/25/2014 CaliKat said:

Ford,

We don't know each other, but I wanted to express my condolences on the loss of your friend, and neighbor. I can imagine how sad you are.

Thank you CaliKat . . . we know each other now.

[LilacTree]

On 6/25/2014 brii said:

Ford, there might be some privacy issues. The building may not have authority to make that kind of information "public."

But maybe there can be some agreement among the tenants...

Well I will find out. I can see where there may be privacy issues. However, all birthdays are announced in the monthly newsletter, but I guess that's not the same thing.

[LilacTree]

~~

[millieshops]

Ford - I'm sorry - and also I suspect I know what you mean. As I rush toward that next birthday, I feel as if my life is fraying at the edges- one friend here, another there. It's those closest to us that leave the holes in our hearts, but that doesn't mean the others don't count; they, too, affect us with their leaving.

Just yesterday came an email that another member of my high school class has passed. Death came last September (on my birthday!), but we're just getting the info now. I understand because 50+ years have passed since graduation and we've spread far and wide, and there was no spouse or child or sibling to notify anybody.

[garmer]

Ford, May 12 was about six weeks ago, not two. Sounds like nobody really knew about it. Kind of surprised it took the family this long to remove the door decorations.