Community Chat

[Marsha2003]

I give birthday gifts until a child graduates high school.  I give them a little bit larger gift when they graduate, but don't give any other gifts thereafter.  I agree that you can transition the Christmas/holiday gift to a gift for the whole family rather than individual gifts.

[Biftu]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@kaydee50 wrote:

@Biftu Does the family ever reciprocate?  You've been generous over the years.  I would stop the gifts and not feel guilty about it.

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@kaydee50   @Biftu 

That's what I was wondering .... have the adults ever given gifts to YOU?  

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@Tinkrbl44  No.

[Q-Checker]

I love the idea of a nice shared family gift instead of giving individuals gifts to the children. It may even be a transition to ending any tangible gifts at all and, perhaps, making a meaningful donation in honor of the family instead. 

[San Antonio Gal]

@Biftu  -  I like what others said about a family gift.  In addtion to the family gift,  you could also purchase small gift cards for the kids for their favorite fast food restaurant (15.00).  

Kids love gift cards.

[Biftu]

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts.  They have never given us a gift so I'm leaning towards still giving them the $3,000 check we give them every Christmas and leave it at that. Don't like giving food gifts so I'm passing on that idea.  When the girls were little it was fun giving them gifts, but not so much any more.  Unless unnecessary guilt takes over I'm passing on gifts for the girls.

[monicakm]

@Biftu 

Not that I need a thanks

Yes, you do need a thanks.  It's the right thing to do and they need to know that.  Apparently, their parents aren't going to teach them.

I'd stop or at least stop for the two older kids.  You can explain to their parents if you want.  

[KKJ]

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@Biftu wrote:

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts.  They have never given us a gift so I'm leaning towards still giving them the $3,000 check we give them every Christmas and leave it at that. Don't like giving food gifts so I'm passing on that idea.  When the girls were little it was fun giving them gifts, but not so much any more.  Unless unnecessary guilt takes over I'm passing on gifts for the girls.

$3,000 check?   Holy cow!  

[CelticCrafter]

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@Citrine1 wrote:

It's time to break the tradition and you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about!

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I felt a little guilty the first year I stopped with birthday and Christmas gifts for nieces and nephews and their children.  That quickly passed.

[Lucky Charm]

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@Biftu wrote:

Thanks to everyone for your thoughts.  They have never given us a gift so I'm leaning towards still giving them the $3,000 check we give them every Christmas and leave it at that. Don't like giving food gifts so I'm passing on that idea.  When the girls were little it was fun giving them gifts, but not so much any more.  Unless unnecessary guilt takes over I'm passing on gifts for the girls.

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I think I'd pass on the $3K check.  If you think gift giving the kids 'is getting expensive'....

I don't know how much they 'help' with your lawn or snow shoveling. 

But, it would probably be cheaper to hire a landscaper to do it for you.  Then you wouldn't have to depend of them 'to be there, when needed'.

Being invited to the birthday parties is nice, do they know when your birthday is?

[willowbark]

My neighbor has 2 young kids and I would love to gift them with money at least for the holidays but the fact of the matter is no matter how generous I would like to be, something is always breaking that needs my attention such as the water heater or needing new tires and the list can get exhaustive.  No one is going to help me. Not sad about it, just how it is and so I save for those unforeseen hiccups that always crops up.