Gifting to Neighbor’s Children

Biftu · ‎02-05-2011

For years we have given birthday and Christmas gifts to neighbor's three girls. They are now 19, 16, and 11. It's getting hard to think of things they would like, not to mention expensive. We used to see them quite a bit but as they have grown and have their own lives we rarely see them. If they are not home when I drop off the gifts I never get an acknowledgment or a thanks. Not that I need a thanks, but that is not how I grew up. My mother always made me send a note or call and thank those who gave me a gift.

Anyway, this year I decided to at least skip the birthday gifts. That didn't work because they parents threw birthday parties for each of them so a gift needed to be given. Here comes Christmas and I am thinking of not giving gifts but feeling a bit guilty not doing so. Should I bite the bullet and continue or is it time to break this tradition?

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

It's time to break the tradition and you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about!

lolasgaga · ‎06-10-2020

You have been very kind for many years. I would end gift giving at this point. The fact you never receive a thank you note or call shows they do not apreciate your kindness.

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

I might stop giving to the oldest one and continue with the other two until they turn 18. But I understand the lack of a thank-you spoils some of the joy for you, @Biftu.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

@tansy wrote:
I might stop giving to the oldest one and continue with the other two until they turn 18. But I understand the lack of a thank-you spoils some of the joy for you, @Biftu.

@tansy. I think that would be akward. I'd discontinue giving to all of them. Just leaving one out seems like you've got something against her.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

How about transitioning to a family gift? A theme would be easy - popcorn, snacks, 6 pack of sprite with a dvd movie or board/card game.

Etoile308 · ‎01-04-2014

If it were me, I would stop with the individual gifts. If you think you'll feel guilty about not gifting anything, then perhaps one family gift they can all partake in.

Something like a gift basket with fruit and treats from Harry & David, more something more local, or the Mrs. Prindables Apples.

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

I think @ThinkingOutLoud has a great idea. Just a gift pack, snacks, cookies, candy etc. Costco even has some nice gift baskets. Idk if I'd want to stop cold turkey. They might think your mad at them, or senile and forgot, lol! I always think of the saying don't start anything you don't want to finish...lol. I get caught in these things sometimes, and it's hard or uncomfortable to stop. Good luck whatever you do. They must care for you to keep including you

“sometimes you have to bite your upper lip and put sunglasses on”….Bob Dylan

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

@Kachina624 wrote:

@tansy wrote:
I might stop giving to the oldest one and continue with the other two until they turn 18. But I understand the lack of a thank-you spoils some of the joy for you, @Biftu.
@tansy. I think that would be akward. I'd discontinue giving to all of them. Just leaving one out seems like you've got something against her.

That's a good point, @Kachina624. I was thinking that the OP would explain the age cutoff. 🤷‍♀️