Re: Gift suggestions for helpful neighbors

Peaches McPhee · ‎04-19-2010

I think you should respect the mother's wishes. Relieving your discomfort should not add to the mother's discomfort.

-- pro-aging --

Rochester, New York

on the bay · ‎03-09-2010

I think I would ask the mother if it was ok for you to give the boys some baked cookies or brownies.

If not, I would write a thank you note to both the boys. Letting them know how much you appreciate their caring and thoughtfulness and how much it has meant to you not to worry about shoveling. A sincere thank you note goes a long way with everyone.

We have wonderful neighbors too who are always giving us gifts at holidays and our children and grandchildren too. They always write thank you notes whenever we give them anything. I know they do not expect gifts in return, they just do not have grandchildren of their own and their children are not nearby.

Sometimes there are wonderful neighbors like that who truly do not expect or want anything in return, but get joy out of helping others. And I think letting them know how much they are appreciated you can never do it enough, with written notes of thanks.

Also, when they are away we reciprocate with getting maill, packages etc.

Your heart is in the right place but I would respect the mothers wishes too. She is teaching her kids how to be giving and kind and caring just for the sake of those values. Invaluable lessons.

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"

FastDogWalker2 · ‎03-10-2010

I would give them a gift card to a local place that delivers maybe?

Lali1 · ‎08-21-2014

You are doing something really big for them. You're teaching them to be kind. Like others have said do something for them later that is not connected to the work they did. The mother wants them to be good neighbors not to learn if they ask to do things for people they get a reward.

Anonymous032819 · ‎03-29-2019

I would listen to the mother of the boys and I would respect her wishes.

I know that it makes you uncomfortable to not pay, but this isn't about you.

It's about the mother trying to reach her sons a life lesson, and you don't have the right to undermine that lesson.

Just say thank you, and be done with it.

That's the lesson the mother wants to teach her kids.

Let her.

The Sky looks different when you have someone you love up there.

Melzie · ‎08-01-2010

To queendiva: I'm in a similar situation.

There's a woman up the hill from me who walks her dogs daily and I would always say good morning to her if I was outside when she came by. She came by one day this winter when I was shoveling and asked if she could help but it wasn't much so I thanked her and said I was OK.

The next storm came and I had a ton of plow stuff at the end of the driveway and I was struggling. She came by and asked if I needed help and this time I said yes because I could use help with the plowed up snow. She said she'd finish walking the dogs and get her shovel. She came back and helped me, we chatted for a while, exchanged phone numbers, and she told me to call/text her if I needed more help. The next morning my driveway was all shoveled AND my van was all cleaned off. It was a foot or snow or more. I thanked her and she told me that she came with her daughter because she wanted to teach her daughter about responsibility and how we need to take care of each other. I also offered money but it was refused.

The next storm I tried to do as much as I could but had to stop. She sent me a text from work, asked me if I needed anything from the store, and that evening they both came and cleaned off the driveway/van again.

I deeply appreciate what they did but I, too, feel that I want to show my gratitude in some way. I was thinking of a gift certificate for a pizza place or a gift certificate to a theatre where I serve on the Board of Directors that can be used in the future, or maybe both. I, too am open to suggestions . :heart:

RetRN · ‎10-01-2013

I think the pizza is a great idea, they can choose the toppings and get just what they like. Having nice neighbors is truly a blessing and not to be taken for granted nowadays.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

@Melzie wrote:
To queendiva: I'm in a similar situation.

There's a woman up the hill from me who walks her dogs daily and I would always say good morning to her if I was outside when she came by. She came by one day this winter when I was shoveling and asked if she could help but it wasn't much so I thanked her and said I was OK.

The next storm came and I had a ton of plow stuff at the end of the driveway and I was struggling. She came by and asked if I needed help and this time I said yes because I could use help with the plowed up snow. She said she'd finish walking the dogs and get her shovel. She came back and helped me, we chatted for a while, exchanged phone numbers, and she told me to call/text her if I needed more help. The next morning my driveway was all shoveled AND my van was all cleaned off. It was a foot or snow or more. I thanked her and she told me that she came with her daughter because she wanted to teach her daughter about responsibility and how we need to take care of each other. I also offered money but it was refused.

The next storm I tried to do as much as I could but had to stop. She sent me a text from work, asked me if I needed anything from the store, and that evening they both came and cleaned off the driveway/van again.

I deeply appreciate what they did but I, too, feel that I want to show my gratitude in some way. I was thinking of a gift certificate for a pizza place or a gift certificate to a theatre where I serve on the Board of Directors that can be used in the future, or maybe both. I, too am open to suggestions .

@Melzie You understand how I feel.

Yes they are wonderful neighbors (aren't we lucky?!) and I understand her wanting to teach her boys a lesson about being a good person but from my end it's just a bit uncomfortable. I'm not going to deny that.

I appreciate all that they have done and will honor her wishes for now but will see about doing something later in the winter. She might be more open to a thank you gift when the snow is long gone!

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

This is a wonderful post and I'm glad you shared it. It's so nice hearing stories like this.

As far as what you could do for them, I don't know. I get the feeling you have already been a good neighbor to them, honestly.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

It's not mean to make your kids work. Kids need to learn they can't just do what they want in life. They might become better and more successful adults if they understand that.