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Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,622
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

[ Edited ]

If it hasn't happened yet, it probably won't.  If you would like an acknowledgement, now is the time to call, after a reasonable time, and see if they got your gifts.  Do it every time you send a gift.  I'm kidding of course.  

 

Just send a card.  Gift giving, I guess now, from some, will not be acknowledged, it's a different world now.  The parent in charge of that area didn't teach them, or has failed to follow through, to be sure the kids remembered to do that.  

 

Teens........................I have no idea now how they think and behave.  Just my 2 cents.

 

Send a journal/diary and on page 1, put "send grandma a Thank you note for this".  

Regular Contributor
Posts: 245
Registered: ‎06-27-2016

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....


@september wrote:

When I read threads like this one, and related ones about poor relationships many women have with their families, it's clear to me why and how things go south 

 

a gift should be given with no strings attached.  Especially when it is to your children or grandchildren.  

the desire to "punish" those who don't acknowledge as wished, is very sad 


It's called respect. The respectful thing to do when you receive a gift is to say "thank-you".

Regular Contributor
Posts: 245
Registered: ‎06-27-2016

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

@lovesrecess  I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I can imagine that it is very upsetting. I've always tried to teach my kids (21, twins that are 16) that the polite/respectful thing to do when you receive a gift is to say thank-you.

 

My mom left me when I was 2 years old, so I've never had a mother, I would've given anything for my kids to have had a grandma, but unfortunately even their dad's mom isn't involved in their lives, so it just wasn't in the cards for them to have a grandma.

 

If I were you, I will be honest I'm not sure HOW I would handle the situation, but I am sure whatever you come up with will be the best.

 

Take care.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,014
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....


@lovesrecess wrote:

Christmas will be here before you know it...need to know the rules now concerning how to handle gifts for grands.

We have four grandkids in their teens now who live two states away from us. We see them twice a year. They are all incredibly over-scheduled with several sports and other competions or projects. We always send generous giftcards for their birthdays,  We have never received a thank you card or even an acknowledgement via a phone call, text, or anything else. I feel like we should no longer send gifts. DH thinks we should. Their parents don’t send thank-yous of any kind either. Since the grandkids are in their middle to late teens, aren’t they old enough to send a note or call a thank-you? They never put down their cellphones, so it shouldn’t be that hard. Am I being too demanding to expect acknowledgment of giftcards? For all we know, the cards could have been stolen and we would never know.

 

 


don't send anything and see if they notice?

 

if they don't there you go

if they do:  well you never thank or even mention it so I don't know that's important to you all

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,910
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

[ Edited ]

@Panda123 wrote:

@Auntg wrote:

Of course you should send something. However, no need to be overly generous since they seemingly don't appreciate your gesture. I do blame the parents because they need to set an example too.


@Auntg  Not to be snarky but just curious, why should they send something?


#1 reason @Panda123 is because her DH wants to send something, and being they are younger grandchildren, I think it is appropriate to send a gift. As I said, just enough to acknowledge the holiday. Poster @jeanlake perfectly expressed my thoughts in post 45.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,283
Registered: ‎05-22-2014

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

So much good advice given here.  I don’t know what exactly what I would do, but I think it’s important to ask yourself a question:  Do I want to close the door forever on a relationship with my grandchildren?  No, you should not be a chump, but consider a solution that is a middle of the road?  It is obvious that they are spoiled and do not lack for anything.  If they were friends, I would write them off ASAP.  But there might be some hope for a future relationship.  I wish you all the best, and I hope your broken heart will someday heal.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 179
Registered: ‎06-24-2019

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

I don't have grandkids but I stopped sending to my nieces and nephews after I got tired of absolutely no acknowledgement what so ever.  Not a phone call, an email or even a mention on social media.  I was done.

 

The first year I didn't send anything they asked my sister where the Box from me was.  I was like, I had no idea if they had gotten boxes in the past since they never acknowledged them over the years so I didn't send any.

 

Again these were nieces and nephews not grandkids so thats a bit different

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,952
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

There were 4 kids in my family and we were taught you always send thank you cards.  Fast forward and it's the tale of complete opposites regarding nieces/nephew.  My sister has one son/one daughter and my brother has one daughter, one stepdaughter.  My sister's kids, without fail always sent TY cards.  My brother's kids, never.   

 

Right now, one of my brother's just had a baby shower 4 months ago.  She got a lot of really nice things and yet no one has gotten a TY card.  She did put a post on FB thanking everyone for attending and making her special day so wonderful but neither she nor her husband work for a living so it's not that they don't have time to sit and send out TY cards.  

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 137
Registered: ‎10-21-2019

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

I find it sad that these are your grandchildren and there's no open communication. Do you not feel close enough to them to let them know that their lack of acknowledgement and "thank you" have hurt your feelings?

 

Sometimes the easiest way to resolve an issue is to discuss it openly and lovingly.

Please consider just letting them know how you feel.

Chances are they have no idea!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,901
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....


@PamfromCT wrote:

So much good advice given here.  I don’t know what exactly what I would do, but I think it’s important to ask yourself a question:  Do I want to close the door forever on a relationship with my grandchildren?  No, you should not be a chump, but consider a solution that is a middle of the road?  It is obvious that they are spoiled and do not lack for anything.  If they were friends, I would write them off ASAP.  But there might be some hope for a future relationship.  I wish you all the best, and I hope your broken heart will someday heal.


@PamfromCT  I don't see a relationship here, it is one sided. When people show you who they are, believe them.