Reply
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,240
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Gift-giving season is coming soon....

Christmas will be here before you know it...need to know the rules now concerning how to handle gifts for grands.

We have four grandkids in their teens now who live two states away from us. We see them twice a year. They are all incredibly over-scheduled with several sports and other competions or projects. We always send generous giftcards for their birthdays,  We have never received a thank you card or even an acknowledgement via a phone call, text, or anything else. I feel like we should no longer send gifts. DH thinks we should. Their parents don’t send thank-yous of any kind either. Since the grandkids are in their middle to late teens, aren’t they old enough to send a note or call a thank-you? They never put down their cellphones, so it shouldn’t be that hard. Am I being too demanding to expect acknowledgment of giftcards? For all we know, the cards could have been stolen and we would never know.

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,267
Registered: ‎04-19-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

Yes, they are old enough to do it, but if they were never taught to do, that is on their parents.  In your situation, I'll stop sending gifts after they reach college.  And call your son/daughter and ask them if the gifts were received for your own peace of mind.


-- pro-aging --
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,107
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

@lovesrecess 

At this point, I would not continue to send money or gifts when I have not even gotten an acknowledgement. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,833
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

Of course you should send something. However, no need to be overly generous since they seemingly don't appreciate your gesture. I do blame the parents because they need to set an example too.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,556
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

I used to send my BIL family cookies or petit-fours or breakfast baskets.  I never had a thank you.  I don't know if they got them or if they were stolen off the porch.  I just quit sending anything.

 

With Grands it's different.  I don't know what I'd do.

 

Maybe you'd hear something from them it the card was only a card.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,793
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....


@lovesrecess wrote:

Christmas will be here before you know it...need to know the rules now concerning how to handle gifts for grands.

We have four grandkids in their teens now who live two states away from us. We see them twice a year. They are all incredibly over-scheduled with several sports and other competions or projects. We always send generous giftcards for their birthdays,  We have never received a thank you card or even an acknowledgement via a phone call, text, or anything else. I feel like we should no longer send gifts. DH thinks we should. Their parents don’t send thank-yous of any kind either. Since the grandkids are in their middle to late teens, aren’t they old enough to send a note or call a thank-you? They never put down their cellphones, so it shouldn’t be that hard. Am I being too demanding to expect acknowledgment of giftcards? For all we know, the cards could have been stolen and we would never know.

 

It must be difficult to only see your precious grandchildren twice a year. Hopefully, you are able to touch base with them through phone/text. 


 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,175
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

[ Edited ]

@lovesrecess 

 

I have to agree with you, if they can't be bothered to send an acknowledgement or show appreciation for your gift in some way, they don't deserve your gift.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,192
Registered: ‎09-15-2016

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

My grandkids are the same BUT when I see them they always say Thank You for the money, tell or show me what they bought & how much $ they put in their savings account...I look forward to that & they do too.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,376
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

@lovesrecess @Don’t they call Christmas Day?Wow that is really sad to think about.I would call them and ask if they received their gifts and wish them all a merry Christmas.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,670
Registered: ‎06-03-2010

Re: Gift-giving season is coming soon....

@lovesrecess   If you don't even get a thank you phone call, I would just send a card.  Although their parent should have taught them manners when receiving a gift, they are old enough to figure it out. 

 

If they happen to mention it to you (or their parents to), tell them you have been sending gifts several times a year and since they have NEVER acknowledged them, you don't know if they even received them or they were stolen.

 

No need to continue to send gifts to recipients who can't even acknowledge a thank you and/or that they have received them.  It tells me that they don't give it a second thought.



......You look like I need a drink.....