Community Chat

[Sooner]

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@Puppy Lips wrote:

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@SeaMaiden wrote:

I remember when I was like 30, my Mother who I was visiting asked if I would want her Mink stole....  I told her" Mom, no one wears those anymore and they are not politically correct"..she just could not give it away... yet had no need for it. 

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@SeaMaiden I ended up with two mink stoles, one from each of my grandmothers.  Their initials are embroidered on the inside lining of each one.  What will I ever do with them?

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@Puppy Lips Get a cat.  My cat was wild about my aunt's mink like the one above.  When she would visit she let him sleep on it--to my mom's dismay.

[ninjawife]

When my mother died in 2012 after a long battle with cancer, my father's friends took him on a trip.  He instructed me to have all of my mother's personal belongings gone by the time he returned.  I kept valuable jewelry although I never wear it.  I also kept a few sentimental pieces but the rest was donated to a clothing bank that provides free clothing etc. for the poor.  

Then we had my father move in with my family in a new large house where he could have a sizable in law sutie.  I went through my parents house and got rid of most what he would not need to bring with him to the new house including most of the furniture ( we bought new stuff), pool table, chrstmas decorations and housewares.  Most was given to friends and family but some was donated to Habitat for Humanity or other charities. 

When my father died, I went through his belongings the week he died and got rid of most of his stuff through 1 800 Got Junk.  I did keep the thousands of dollars I found tucked away in the strangest places.  LOL!

[hopi]

It's hard to let go of loved ones and holding on to their things is a natural reaction.  Prayers for her family

[gidgetgh]

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@Sooner wrote:

Four houses will get you out of keeping things.  Or at least it did me.  I got rid of things from my mother's house, even things I sometimes wish I had kept.  I had had it by then.

I want to live my life not theirs.  I am not a museum.  I am me.  And things, sadly, are no substitute for people.  

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@Sooner - sing it sister.  I have a very few things from my parents (furniture that I actually wanted) , a few things from my childhood (literally like 3), not many items at all that were my husband's and there is nothing left here from my in laws house.  

It is absolutely correct that you can't dictate someone's grief and that maybe keeping all those things help with that, but in many cases it's just being a pack rat.  

[Still Raining]

Having watched this, most notably at a sister's currently, I favor my late MIL's way.  Toss it NOW.

Death was a long time coming for her, and I am still impressed with a glimpse in her closet.  Six inches of hanging max.

[chrystaltree]

Let them work it out.  If you see a few things that you want, ask if you can have them.  Otherwise her spouse and daughters should take care of it.  A friend went through y this after her mom passed away 10 years ago.  They were close, she's an only child.  Her mother left a house full stuff, much of it unopened from Hsn.  And she had what  she called "collections", really just junk.  Of course, interspersed among the clutter and junk were photo albums and some expensive jewelry that my friend wanted.  It made her grief so much worse.  After we found out what she was struggling with and how overwhelmed she was, a group of work friends and some of our husbands spent a couple weekends sorting and clearing stuff out.  

[mac116]

My MIL cared more for her "beautiful things" than her family. 

When she passed away, we hired a company to empty her place.  They dumped, donated, and consigned everything...for a price.  We live 800 miles away, and did not want anything.  I still struggle downsizing the way that I need to.

[Love my grandkids]

@CrazyKittyLvr2 I'm 74 and doing pretty well and don't have tons of "stuff" but have been culling old paperwork that's no longer relevant or important.

[millieshops]

How old is the daughter who wants to keep everything?

[RedTop]

Moms side of the family felt very strongly about holding on to the possessions of loved ones, which is how I wound up with boxes and boxes of my aunts and grandmothers personal things.   

I didn't deal with any of it until I retired, so by then I had no personal feelings, or emotional attachment to their things.  It was very easy to burn many items, as well as fill trash bags that went to the curb for pickup. What I kept is displayed or used on a regular basis.