have any of you ladies been in a relationship that for many yrs the persons behavior and things said were so hurtful that when you finally were able to get this person to at least acknowledge there is a huge problem that they still (even in counseling) will not give you a genuine apology....I am thinking of the kind that you look the person in the eyes...perhaps take their hands in yours and say "I am so sorry for all the pain I have caused you....how my actions have wounded you....please forgive me"
Instead you get "oh well I needed to escape to do that so that's why I did that" or "yeah I see that was wrong but you need to understand that I needed to do that cause....."
What do you do to get past that need for a truly remorseful and sincere apology when you know it will never happen. It's been nearly 2yrs and still nothing.
And yes it's my marriage so not a relationship that I can cut the person total off to ease the pain and work thru it....emotional distance works well in other relationships like friends or something....you could just end the friendship and let GOD help you over time forgive but not re-enter a emotional connection with them.
This is where I am at.....should I tell my spouse that I need this from him? If I do then won't it defeat the purpose as he won't really mean it anyway or else he would have done it by now...right? am I unusual in having this need?
My close friend has it....she ended a very close friendship due to the friend never offering genuine apology....she's over it now and says she forgives it but they are no longer friends...not enemies either just someone she runs across at her work that she says good morning to and that's about it....and they were super tight....my friend attend her church (this lady is a pastors wife) and their families/kids all hung out....very close.
I am confused about forgiveness....most say they forgive someone but they no longer have relationship with that person....so did they truly forgive? or just distance themselves and it made the pain of it fade away over time...I think this is what most do.
Sorry this may be confusing but my emotions on this are painful for me and confusing....I hope I made some sense and if you can offer your opinion on if I should tell my spouse I feel this way or not would be helpful....I don't want to get into the actual problem it was long term for 16+ yrs.....so it did alot of damage to me in terms of rejection...I did tell him this and he knows that.
Thanks for your thoughts on it.
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