Community Chat

[agb80]

I love terms of endearment but from people who really mean it and not as a perfunctionary gesture by someone who says it to everyone. 

[Sooner]

I find Miss and use of my first name irritating.   Miss alone doesn't seem the same to me, it's when it is used with my first name especially by customer service people on the phone!

In a few more years then I'll just sigh and expect it.  It's mostly used for little prissy toddlers and very old ladies. 

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

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@decaf wrote:

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@house_cat wrote:

@CrazyKittyLvr2 

I understand why it would rub you the wrong way, but you are right to let it pass without comment.

I grew up in NYC, which meant walking past hundreds of construction workers every day.  They'd whistle and say suggestive things. As a young woman I found it offensive.  Now that I'm an old woman, and virtually invisible, I wonder why it bothered me so much.

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@house_cat  I lived and worked in Manhatten, I know exactly what you mean, and that behavior was rampant. It didn't bother me too much then even though with 'women's lib' it probably should have. Better than, like you say, being invisible. When that started it actually hurt. 

I think Invisibility is the one benefit of being old I like.  The creaky joints and joint replacements as well as taking twice as long to do 1/2 as much stinks but invisible, I'll take it.

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[suzyQ3]

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@Mmsfoxxie wrote:

Well, I have a different thing that irritates me although I never say anything because I know it's not a big deal.  

I hate for people (it's usually a guy) to call me "young lady".  Such as "what can I get for you, young lady".  I feel belittled.  It is so obvious that I'm not young.    Just call me madam since my name is unknown.

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@Mmsfoxxie, my husband and I were talking about this very thing a couple days ago. And yes, it is belittling.

This is a current discussion among nurses and doctors. Is it condescending to use such language with elderly patients instead of addressing them by name? I know that I would prefer hearing my name.

[ALRATIBA]

I never let stuff like that bother me.

My motto is:  "Don't sweat the small stuff."

[tansy]

Baby may have just slipped out of the man's mouth without thinking.  That's not something that would bother me.  

I tend to call people, like my DILs, hon so that the similar name of an old girlfriend doesn't slip out 😏 

[suzyQ3]

Again, I don't think that anyone is upset or bothered in any significant way. For some, it's just a dislike and a preference for being addressed differently. 

I have never corrected anyone or have given it too much air.

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

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@suzyQ3 wrote:

Again, I don't think that anyone is upset or bothered in any significant way. For some, it's just a dislike and a preference for being addressed differently. 

I have never corrected anyone or have given it too much air.

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You are right, not upset and I won't lose sleep over it but it's irksome.

In my much younger days I had to speak up twice to men, both regulars at resturant I worked at. Both made creepy crude comments and one announced since he was from Europe it was okay to grab my a**.  I told him PA isn't Europe and if he grabbed me again I would stab him in the hand with a fork. He laughed.  I. Wasn't. Kidding.

[september]

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@Q4u wrote:

If it's said to me kindly and without malice, I take it that way.... 

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Yes!   Over the years I've been posting here, I've seen so many complaints about being called everything from ma'am to gal.  And everything in between.  

life is short....I don't sweat stuff like this.  

[PamfromCT]

You just have to accept the fact you are old and everybody knows your old.  So they try to hold a door for you, or perhaps call you dear or sweetie.  I am 76, and I don’t care in the least if they do.  They are trying, in their own way, to show extra kindness.  Kindness never killed anybody.