Get Over It - Page 14

JJsMom · ‎03-10-2010

Why do people think it's okay to talk to children this way? Would you tell your aging parents or grandparents to "get over it" if they were sad about something or found life unfair?

I think there's a more respectful way of getting your point across to children. Just because I don't tell my kid to "get over it" doesn't mean I teach him to be a victim. I explain that sometimes life isn't fair and that we have to appreciate and make the most of what we have been given in life. There will always be someone who is prettier, smarter, richer, or more talented. You work hard for the things you want. If it doesn't work out the way you expected, you try again or move onto something else.

If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. ~ Desmond Tutu

kittymomNC · ‎08-09-2012

My mom, who was a sweet petite absolutely wonderful woman who had a hard life raising three children, used to say "Pretty is as pretty does".....I've never forgotten that and try to live it in my everyday life.

I don't spend much time on the boards, but this thread intrigued me. I've read it all, and to those of you who have had so much sadness and/or trauma in your lives, my heart goes out to you.

For anyone who thinks the words "get over it" or "just pull yourself up by your bootstraps" or "it's in the past, you can't do anything about it, so just forget it" is ever helpful to someone who has had any kind of traumatic experiences in their childhood: you are just plain WRONG.... I've been told some of those things myself many times for reasons I won't go into on this board, and believe me when I say, it hurts to feel like someone close to you doesn't understand you, doesn't try to understand you, doesn't do anything to learn about why you have problems and they don't, or how they might be more understanding and helpful. Several children raised in the same environment internalize things in totally different ways. There is plenty of information out there about all kinds of emotional problems which can be caused by things that happen when we are children or even as adults, and anyone who wants to be helpful can seek out that information and learn how to at least be sympathetic to your problems and how you feel-and yes, sometimes people DO need to have their feelings validated. But even people who you know love you can just think they are right and say those words, not even knowing how they can hurt you all over again.

stilltamn8r · ‎03-14-2010

My own "get over it" (which to me sounds so callous and uncaring, is "let it go" -I try and do that in RL, and here too-I have a hard time, letting the things that have seriously affected me in my life "go", but I know it is essential for healing and to continue growing as a person- Still, it is easier thought than DONE...

Jannabelle · ‎03-09-2010

On 3/5/2014 stilltamn8r said:
My own "get over it" (which to me sounds so callous and uncaring, is "let it go" -I try and do that in RL, and here too-I have a hard time, letting the things that have seriously affected me in my life "go", but I know it is essential for healing and to continue growing as a person- Still, it is easier thought than DONE...

I know we often so much harder on ourselves,....and you are right, get over it, sounds very uncaring, almost like a put down.