GROWN KIDS COMING HOME TO ROOST - Page 13

aggravated · ‎03-12-2010

I'm with the "Outrageous" person. One thing to have son temporarily moving home for a few months, that's really great -- then the family moves in as well?? Not for me; they can rent a small apartment for a few months for the family - with their laundry, needed closet space, and sharing their bathroom. I would be happy to have them visit and stay for dinner now and then.

We have lived in our home for 25 years. The next door neighbors had three children. One left for engineering school, moved home afterward, is supposed to be ill with headaches - now small child and mother have moved in. Daughter moved to Colorado now divorced; guess who moved back home with her two children. We can't figure it out. Not only that but the lawn is never mowed and what do all of these adults do during the day. The one son is so ill he is unable to never or ever work a day in life but he's able to make children? They all now live in the house.

Another neighbor the same. Daughter lives in a basement apartment and from what I hear no definite plans to work. Late for every interview -- she knows what she's doing. Another friend's son is part-time bartender lives at home - no initiative to ever move out or do anything different with his life including even working full time.

JaneMarple · ‎05-23-2011

@aggravated wrote:
I'm with the "Outrageous" person. One thing to have son temporarily moving home for a few months, that's really great -- then the family moves in as well?? Not for me; they can rent a small apartment for a few months for the family - with their laundry, needed closet space, and sharing their bathroom. I would be happy to have them visit and stay for dinner now and then.

We have lived in our home for 25 years. The next door neighbors had three children. One left for engineering school, moved home afterward, is supposed to be ill with headaches - now small child and mother have moved in. Daughter moved to Colorado now divorced; guess who moved back home with her two children. We can't figure it out. Not only that but the lawn is never mowed and what do all of these adults do during the day. The one son is so ill he is unable to never or ever work a day in life but he's able to make children? They all now live in the house.

Another neighbor the same. Daughter lives in a basement apartment and from what I hear no definite plans to work. Late for every interview -- she knows what she's doing. Another friend's son is part-time bartender lives at home - no initiative to ever move out or do anything different with his life including even working full time.

Wouldn't you agree @aggravated that evry family in America is different? So why compare the OP to your neighbors?

You Don't Own Me- Leslie Gore
(You don't Know) How Glad I Am- Nancy Wilson

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@JaneMarple wrote:
@aggravated wrote:
I'm with the "Outrageous" person. One thing to have son temporarily moving home for a few months, that's really great -- then the family moves in as well?? Not for me; they can rent a small apartment for a few months for the family - with their laundry, needed closet space, and sharing their bathroom. I would be happy to have them visit and stay for dinner now and then.

We have lived in our home for 25 years. The next door neighbors had three children. One left for engineering school, moved home afterward, is supposed to be ill with headaches - now small child and mother have moved in. Daughter moved to Colorado now divorced; guess who moved back home with her two children. We can't figure it out. Not only that but the lawn is never mowed and what do all of these adults do during the day. The one son is so ill he is unable to never or ever work a day in life but he's able to make children? They all now live in the house.

Another neighbor the same. Daughter lives in a basement apartment and from what I hear no definite plans to work. Late for every interview -- she knows what she's doing. Another friend's son is part-time bartender lives at home - no initiative to ever move out or do anything different with his life including even working full time.

Wouldn't you agree @aggravated that evry family in America is different? So why compare the OP to your neighbors?

@JaneMarple

I think that I can answer your question.

Why compare the O/P's family to the neighbors?

Because it is easier to make grand sweeping generalities about people, than to acknowledge that there are adult children who are mature and responsible.

Grace6663582 · ‎07-14-2016

Lots of luck and best wishes , the rules should be set by your son to his children about respecting your home . Not sure how old the grandkids are but enjoy this time and you are of course gracious. I agree your always a mom.

Melania · ‎06-12-2013

The only issue I think is that the OP expects her children to roll out the red carpet for her in her declining years to boost her story. I take what she has said about her own mother who doesn't even live with her and go..hmm.

That being said, I would welcome my children if the need arose. I would treasure the time together...with no expectations or being owed.

steiny3844 · ‎12-21-2012

My mother moved in with us when she needed help, and stayed until her passing. My daughter and her two sons moved in with me for six months to sell and buy a new home. I feel good about both decisions, even the added mess, The hardest part is missing them when they move, It's like going through empty nest syndrone all over again!

Enjoy your time together, This opportunity will probably be the last opportunity of it's kind!

My only thoughts about the hostile responses is maybe the sons and daughters would rather live on the street than move home. My heart would be broken, and It would say more about me than it does about them.

aggravated · ‎03-12-2010

@JaneMarple wrote:
@aggravated wrote:
I'm with the "Outrageous" person. One thing to have son temporarily moving home for a few months, that's really great -- then the family moves in as well?? Not for me; they can rent a small apartment for a few months for the family - with their laundry, needed closet space, and sharing their bathroom. I would be happy to have them visit and stay for dinner now and then.

We have lived in our home for 25 years. The next door neighbors had three children. One left for engineering school, moved home afterward, is supposed to be ill with headaches - now small child and mother have moved in. Daughter moved to Colorado now divorced; guess who moved back home with her two children. We can't figure it out. Not only that but the lawn is never mowed and what do all of these adults do during the day. The one son is so ill he is unable to never or ever work a day in life but he's able to make children? They all now live in the house.

Another neighbor the same. Daughter lives in a basement apartment and from what I hear no definite plans to work. Late for every interview -- she knows what she's doing. Another friend's son is part-time bartender lives at home - no initiative to ever move out or do anything different with his life including even working full time.

Wouldn't you agree @aggravated that evry family in America is different? So why compare the OP to your neighbors?

Why if all families are different and they are is the OP asking for opinions regarding rules for and regarding and her 45 year old son and his family??

sophiamarie · ‎08-08-2013

"Baggage? Sounds like you have enough for 2 storage units. If you had read OP and others after, my son has the few drawers in the pantry, etc. for the 3 months he'll be here. I have another frig. in the mud room/laundry room if he needs it. When my DIL and kids come down (ages 5 & 8), it is possible that my son will have found a house by then. If not, they are all welcome here for as long as they need to stay."

To the OP: NOWHERE in my two posts, did I ever use the word "baggage". I would like for you to re-read your entire thread and direct me to "my" use of that word. Freudian slip on your part, perhaps????

NAES1 · ‎09-02-2011

@Shanus wrote:
@NAES1. What a sweet and loving post! I guess we're similar in "mothering" and have been rewarded by a child feeling comfortable to be (& ask to be) at home as an adult.

Thank you for taking the time to let me know I do not stand alone on this decision. 🌷

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@Shanus,

Sending much understanding with a comforting for you~

I do believe that you know better than anyone else what your heart tells you.

Again, you are a very special MOM and a ~

Everything will be wonderful, having your grand children being with you.

I have always found when less stressed, the best of all unexpected outcomes become blessings in disguise.

You have a lovely family with love all around you.

Sometimes we become overwhelmed, and advice just adds confusion into the decision making, being more upsetting than support.

That's exactly what you have been going through, over thinking ~this~.

Smiles from my family to yours,

NAES

sunala · ‎03-09-2010

@steiny3844 wrote:
My mother moved in with us when she needed help, and stayed until her passing. My daughter and her two sons moved in with me for six months to sell and buy a new home. I feel good about both decisions, even the added mess, The hardest part is missing them when they move, It's like going through empty nest syndrone all over again!

Enjoy your time together, This opportunity will probably be the last opportunity of it's kind!

My only thoughts about the hostile responses is maybe the sons and daughters would rather live on the street than move home. My heart would be broken, and It would say more about me than it does about them.

@steiny3844- I'm with you!

"That's a great first pancake."
Lady Gaga, to Tony Bennett