GROWING OLD IS HARD WORK CONTINUED AND OTHERS

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

1. How deep is the mud? Depends on who you ask. We all go through the same stuff differently.

2. Them: What inspires you to get out of bed in the morning?

Me: My bladder mostly.

3. There are times my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.

4. A police recruit was asked during an exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?" The reply, "Call for backup."

5. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears...Bears will kill you.

6. Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer.

7. Teacher: What is an evangelist?

Student: Someone who plays the evangelo.

Teacher: Why can't fresh water fish live in salt water?

Student: The salt would give them high blood pressure.

Teacher: Mira went to the library at 5:15 and left at

6:45. How long was Mira in the building?

Student: Not long.

Teacher: List up to five good facts about Abraham Lincoln

Student: After the war, Lincoln took his wife to see a

show.

8. Spotted in the classifieds: "For Sale"; Cemetery plot $200, so I don't have to spend all eternity beside my ex."

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Georgiagrama · ‎03-19-2010

@Lindsays Grandma My cardiologists office is just past our local funeral home. Every time I go for an appointment these days, the first thing I ask him when he comes in is "Am I going to need to stop by the funeral home on the way home." He gets a big kick out of our little running joke now, but when the day comes that he doesn't laugh, I will know I'm in trouble for sure. Getting old is truly wearing me out.

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

No kidding,! My mom had that plaque on her fridge that said "growing old is not for sissies". Is that ever true. It takes true grit. Walking with the grandkids pretending you arent going to pass out from pain cause your back and knee hurts. Staying out of the light when they want you by the poolbecause your arms get bruise type things my dr calls "senile"purpura!!!! Talk about adding insult to injury. And laughing about it all, because...well, what else what can you do?

you know what I really hate? Going to bed . It is such a chore I avoid it til last minute. Because first I have to get cat ready for bed, feed the fish, and cover pond. Turn the water down which requires remote, which I always leave in house, so I have to walk back. Then lug myself up the stairs.

then get my pills ready for night and the next day, get water bottle by bed, setDVD make sure iPod is charged. Then I pre rinse mouth with this solution for a minute, then brush, then water pik. Wash my face, do a few creams, then put that stuff on eyelashes to thicken, then spend a few minutes applying rogaine to scalp, apply eyebrow thickener ( they have been falling out and this helps), apply a neck cream, apply pain patch to back, and sometimes feet or knee. Put special cream on those senile purpura thingies, lol

get cat, yell at husband to get to bed because he will watch movies all night and be tired all next day. Turn off my phone, get into bed. By then I am moaning with pain. As soon as lights are out and I am settled.cozy in bed and have adjusted my pajamas so Idon't get a melvin ..I have to get up to pee. Every night.

Georgiagrama · ‎03-19-2010

@shoekitty Well, at least you are taking the time to take care of your skin and your self 💕

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@shoekitty wrote:
No kidding,! My mom had that plaque on her fridge that said "growing old is not for sissies". Is that ever true. It takes true grit. Walking with the grandkids pretending you arent going to pass out from pain cause your back and knee hurts. Staying out of the light when they want you by the poolbecause your arms get bruise type things my dr calls "senile"purpura!!!! Talk about adding insult to injury. And laughing about it all, because...well, what else what can you do?

you know what I really hate? Going to bed . It is such a chore I avoid it til last minute. Because first I have to get cat ready for bed, feed the fish, and cover pond. Turn the water down which requires remote, which I always leave in house, so I have to walk back. Then lug myself up the stairs.

then get my pills ready for night and the next day, get water bottle by bed, setDVD make sure iPod is charged. Then I pre rinse mouth with this solution for a minute, then brush, then water pik. Wash my face, do a few creams, then put that stuff on eyelashes to thicken, then spend a few minutes applying rogaine to scalp, apply eyebrow thickener ( they have been falling out and this helps), apply a neck cream, apply pain patch to back, and sometimes feet or knee. Put special cream on those senile purpura thingies, lol
get cat, yell at husband to get to bed because he will watch movies all night and be tired all next day. Turn off my phone, get into bed. By then I am moaning with pain. As soon as lights are out and I am settled.cozy in bed and have adjusted my pajamas so Idon't get a melvin ..I have to get up to pee. Every night.

@shoekitty .. I got worn out just reading what you go through before you turn out the lights for the night.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

VegasBusinessWoman · ‎05-27-2013

@Lindsays Grandma Here's a couple more:

I've never learned anything from a good decision

___

I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me.

The old lady next to me said "It's pronounced quiche, dear."

___

One man's cougar is another man's grandmother.

___

If I'm ever known as the one that got away, it'll be from an asylum.

___

*Donates my body to science*

Science: No, than you

___

I would like to offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.

___

The way my life is now, if I threw caution to the wind, it would just throw it back.

Godd night everyone!

Ketra · ‎02-16-2018

@shoekitty wrote:
No kidding,! My mom had that plaque on her fridge that said "growing old is not for sissies". Is that ever true. It takes true grit. Walking with the grandkids pretending you arent going to pass out from pain cause your back and knee hurts. Staying out of the light when they want you by the poolbecause your arms get bruise type things my dr calls "senile"purpura!!!! Talk about adding insult to injury. And laughing about it all, because...well, what else what can you do?

you know what I really hate? Going to bed . It is such a chore I avoid it til last minute. Because first I have to get cat ready for bed, feed the fish, and cover pond. Turn the water down which requires remote, which I always leave in house, so I have to walk back. Then lug myself up the stairs.

then get my pills ready for night and the next day, get water bottle by bed, setDVD make sure iPod is charged. Then I pre rinse mouth with this solution for a minute, then brush, then water pik. Wash my face, do a few creams, then put that stuff on eyelashes to thicken, then spend a few minutes applying rogaine to scalp, apply eyebrow thickener ( they have been falling out and this helps), apply a neck cream, apply pain patch to back, and sometimes feet or knee. Put special cream on those senile purpura thingies, lol
get cat, yell at husband to get to bed because he will watch movies all night and be tired all next day. Turn off my phone, get into bed. By then I am moaning with pain. As soon as lights are out and I am settled.cozy in bed and have adjusted my pajamas so Idon't get a melvin ..I have to get up to pee. Every night.

@shoekitty I’m with you lady! More often than not I wake up as tired as when I went to bed. It————s!