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Esteemed Contributor
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Registered: ‎02-19-2014

Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?

We could all use a good laugh, I think.

 

Have you read any funny Amazon reviews? Or funny reviews from QVC or anywhere else? I remember some hilarious ones about sugar free gummy bears a while back. If you can remember where to find them I'd love to see them again.

 

Or a funny item you can't believe is being sold? (Funny or odd, but not off color plz.)

 

If possible please post both the review and a picture of the item.

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,731
Registered: ‎02-19-2014

Re: Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?

I thought this review for the Bolt Laser Light was pretty good. It's for a cat laser toy. One reason I started this thread is to share this review I encountered when looking at cat laser toys.

 

 

"Destroyer of Homes!!

This product is a absolute disaster!!! Personally, I’d give it one star but I gave it 2 simply because it had my son rolling with laughter which was pretty great.

 

The product itself is terrible. The laser is extremely fast, but let’s talk real here. If you think you can just pull it out of the package and turn it on for hours of fun YOU ARE SOOOOO WRONG!!

 

This product completely destroyed my living room in seconds. I put the batteries in and turned it on just to test it out. I had it sitting on the floor and at first it was pretty normal, laser going in circles on the floor as the cats watched and began to get ready to pounce.

 

But then, out of freaking no where, this laser goes straight onto the walls and I’m not talking low, but high on the walls. Before I could react, I had cats crashing into my shelves, knocking off everything, jumping from the back of the couch onto the curtains and ripping down them.

 

I rushed to the laser in a frantic attempt to turn it off, but once I picked it up, the laser is now going all over the place! Now the dog has joined in and it’s just a mess.

 

I finally got the darn thing off, but now I’ve got a ton of stuff to clean up, a broken tv that the dog knocked off the entertainment center, and 3 cats that I’m pretty sure now have permanent brain damage from running into each other repeatedly in their CRAZY attempt to catch this super fast laser 😑. Needless to say, I will not be using this product EVER again."

 

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr
Honored Contributor
Posts: 31,403
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?

@Porcelain @lolakimono 

 

 

This is truly hilarious!

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~
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Re: Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?


@Porcelain wrote:

I thought this review for the Bolt Laser Light was pretty good. It's for a cat laser toy. One reason I started this thread is to share this review I encountered when looking at cat laser toys.

 

 

"Destroyer of Homes!!

This product is a absolute disaster!!! Personally, I’d give it one star but I gave it 2 simply because it had my son rolling with laughter which was pretty great.

 

The product itself is terrible. The laser is extremely fast, but let’s talk real here. If you think you can just pull it out of the package and turn it on for hours of fun YOU ARE SOOOOO WRONG!!

 

This product completely destroyed my living room in seconds. I put the batteries in and turned it on just to test it out. I had it sitting on the floor and at first it was pretty normal, laser going in circles on the floor as the cats watched and began to get ready to pounce.

 

But then, out of freaking no where, this laser goes straight onto the walls and I’m not talking low, but high on the walls. Before I could react, I had cats crashing into my shelves, knocking off everything, jumping from the back of the couch onto the curtains and ripping down them.

 

I rushed to the laser in a frantic attempt to turn it off, but once I picked it up, the laser is now going all over the place! Now the dog has joined in and it’s just a mess.

 

I finally got the darn thing off, but now I’ve got a ton of stuff to clean up, a broken tv that the dog knocked off the entertainment center, and 3 cats that I’m pretty sure now have permanent brain damage from running into each other repeatedly in their CRAZY attempt to catch this super fast laser 😑. Needless to say, I will not be using this product EVER again."

 


@Porcelain @Hysterical. 

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Re: Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?

Porcelain - Just Google 'sugar free gummy bear reviews' and, as I mentioned yesterday, it comes up right at the top.  They are on Amazon.  HTH Smiley Happy

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Re: Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?

😸😸😸😸😸
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Re: Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?

This post has been removed by QVC because it contains a link to another retail site.

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Re: Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?


@chickenbutt wrote:

Porcelain - Just Google 'sugar free gummy bear reviews' and, as I mentioned yesterday, it comes up right at the top.  They are on Amazon.  HTH Smiley Happy


I just did. Hoo boy. Jeffrey Lambert's review is one for the ages. It's basically a short story. Completely inappropriate for me to repeat here. But truly epic. And epically disgusting.

 

"My eyes scanned the colourful array of confection quickly, coming to rest on a tantalizing, rainbow-coloured bag of gummy bears with the simple white and red logo "Haribo" emblazoned across the bag in what appeared to be a slightly tweaked Helvetica Rounded font."

...

"A sudden shock of pain racked my body, and I half wondered if I was going to give birth to a Tasmanian Devil..."

 

Question:
Have aliens tested the bears given the warning on the packet about the gastrointestinal consequences of eating a product not of the earth?
Answer:
Yes, aliens tested it, that’s why they didn’t come back.
By Christopher Esten on July 30, 2020
 
Question:
Will eating the entire bag in one sitting give you an exorcism?
Answer:
Paymoneywubby only ate about 40 live on his steam and within 2 hours he was having his very own exorcism (that part was not live lol thank god) if you eat a whole bag i think you might implode
By Kassie W on December 10, 2020

 

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr
Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,395
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?


@Porcelain wrote:

@chickenbutt wrote:

Porcelain - Just Google 'sugar free gummy bear reviews' and, as I mentioned yesterday, it comes up right at the top.  They are on Amazon.  HTH Smiley Happy


I just did. Hoo boy. Jeffrey Lambert's review is one for the ages. It's basically a short story. Completely inappropriate for me to repeat here. But truly epic. And epically disgusting.

 

"My eyes scanned the colourful array of confection quickly, coming to rest on a tantalizing, rainbow-coloured bag of gummy bears with the simple white and red logo "Haribo" emblazoned across the bag in what appeared to be a slightly tweaked Helvetica Rounded font."

...

"A sudden shock of pain racked my body, and I half wondered if I was going to give birth to a Tasmanian Devil..."

 

Question:
Have aliens tested the bears given the warning on the packet about the gastrointestinal consequences of eating a product not of the earth?
Answer:
Yes, aliens tested it, that’s why they didn’t come back.
By Christopher Esten on July 30, 2020
 
Question:
Will eating the entire bag in one sitting give you an exorcism?
Answer:
Paymoneywubby only ate about 40 live on his steam and within 2 hours he was having his very own exorcism (that part was not live lol thank god) if you eat a whole bag i think you might implode
By Kassie W on December 10, 2020

 


 

Ha!  That's awesome!   It's been quite a while since I've read them but I recall how hilarious and creative some of them were.    I think I probably laughed about as much as the first few times I visited the 'cake wreck' site.

 

OMG, it's not reviews but it's pics and short stories of cakes that people made, especially some of them from recipes online showing the pic of the final product but what they made looked nothing like that.

 

One all time fav from there was the one with the naked babies riding on carrots.    Not only is it hilarious but the reply was even funnier.

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Re: Funny QVC or Amazon Reviews? Or bizarre items being sold?

@Porcelain 

That is hysterical!