Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,078
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

1. Get a dog and walk it.

2. Have your car breakdown at strategic places.

3. Attend night school - take course men like.

4. Look in the census reports for places with the most single men.

5. Read the obituaries to find eligible widowers.

6. Join a hiking club.

7. Take up golf and go to different golf courses.

8. Take several short vacations at different places rather than one long one at one place.

9. Sit on a park bench and feed the pigeons.

10. Take a bicycle trip through Europe.

11. Get a job in a medical, dental or law school.

12. Become a nurse or an airline stewardess.

13. Ask your friends' husbands who the eligible men are in their offices.

14. Be nice to everybody - they may have an eligible son or brother.

15. Get a government job overseas.

16. Volunteer for jury duty.

17. Be friendly to ugly men - handsome is as handsome does.

18. Tell your friends you're interested in getting married.

19. Get lost at football games.

20. Don't take a job in a company largely run by women.

21. Get a job demonstrating fishing tackle in a sports store.

22. On a plane, train or bus don't sit next to a woman - sit next to a man.

23. Go to all school reunions, there may be widowers there.

24. Don't be afraid to associate with more attractive girls, they may have some leftovers.

25. Go back to your home town - the wild kid next door may now be an eligible bachelor.

26. Don't room with a girl who is a sad sack and let her pull you down to her level.

27. Get a part-time job in a convention bureau.

28. Change apartments from time to time.

29. When travelling stay at small hotels where it's easier to meet strangers.

30. Learn to paint. Set up easel outside engineering school.

31. Stumble when you walk into a room he's in

32. Forget discretion every once in a while and call him up.

33. Carry a hat box.

34. Wear a band-aid - people always ask what happened.

35. Make a lot of money.

36. Learn several funny stories and learn to tell them well - but make sure you don't tell him more than once.

37. Walk up to him and tell him you need some advice.

38. Dropping the handkerchief still works.

39. Have your father buy some theatre tickets that need to be got rid of.

40. Stand in a corner and cry softly - chances are he'll come over to ask what's wrong.

41. If you are at a resort, have a bell boy page you.

42. Buy a convertible - men like to ride in them.

43. Don't let him fish for your name next time you meet.

44. Learn how to bake tasty apple pies - bring one into the office and let the eligible bachelors taste it.

45. Laugh at his jokes.

46. If there's a wallflower among the men you know, why not cultivate them?

47. 'Accidentally' have your purse fly open, scattering its contents across the street.

48. Men like to think they're authorities on perfume, ask his advice on what kind you should wear.

49. Get better looking glasses - men still make passes at girls who wear glasses - or try contact lenses.

50. Practice your drinking with your women friends first.

51. If you dye your hair, pick a shade and stick to it.

52. Wear high heels most of the time - they're sexier.

53. Unless he happens to be shorter than you are.

54. Tell him he's handsome.

55. Take good care of your health - men don't like girls who are ill.

56. If you look good in sweaters, wear one on every third date.

57. Dress differently from the other girls in the office.

58. Get a sunburn.

59. Watch your vocabulary.

60. Go on a diet if you need to.

61. When you are with him, order your steak rare.

62. Don't tell him about your allergies.

63. European women use their eyes to good advantage - practise in front of a mirror.

64. Buy a full-length mirror and take a good, long look before you go and meet him.

65. Change the shade of your stockings and be sure to keep the seams straight

66. Get that fresh scrubbed look by scrubbing.

67. If he has bought you any accessory or trinket, wear it.

68. Use the ashtray, don't crush our cigarettes in a coffee cup.

69. Polish up on making introductions, learn to do them gracefully.

70. Don't be too fussy.

71. Stick to your moral standards.

72. Don't whine - girls who whine, stay on the vine.

73. Show him you can have fun on a cheap date - but don't overdo it.

74. Don't let your parents treat him like a potential husband.

75. Ask your parents to disappear when you're entertaining.

76. Double date with a happily married couple, let him see what it's like.

77. Tell his friends nice things about him.

78. Send his mother a birthday card.

79. Ask his mother for recipes.

80. Talk to his father about business and agree taxes are too high.

81. Buy his sister's children an occasional present.

82. On the first date tell him you aren't thinking about getting married.

83. Don't talk about how many children you want.

84. If he's a fisherman, learn to scale and clean fish.

85. Don't tell him everything about yourself at the start. Hold some in reserve.

86. When you're out strolling with him, don't insist on stopping at every shop window.

87. Don't tell him how much your clothes cost.

88. Learn to sew and wear something you have made yourself.

89. Don't gossip about him.

90. Never let him know he's the only one, even if you have to stay home one or two nights a week.

91. Don't be a pushover when he's trying to make a date.

92. Very early on in your dating, why not get a favourite song that you both regard as your own?

93. Find out about the girls he hasn't married. Don't repeat their mistakes.

94. Don't discuss your former boyfriends.

95. If you are widowed or divorced, don't discuss your former husband.

96. Be flexible - if he decides to skip the dance and go rowing on the lake, go - even if you're wearing your best evening gown.

97. Hide your Phi Beta Kappa key if you own one - later on junior can play with it.

98. Turn wolves into husbands by assuming they have honour.

99. Resist the urge to make him over - before marriage that is.

100. Remain innocent but not ignorant.

101. Learn to draw the line but do it gracefully.

102. Make your home comfortable when he calls - large ashtrays, comfortable chairs.

103. Learn to play poker.

104. If he's rich, tell him you like his money - the honesty will intrigue him.

105. Never let him believe your career is more important than your marriage.

106. Buy him an amusing or particularly appropriate present every once in a while - but don't make it too expensive.

107. Clip and mail him a funny cartoon that means something to both of you.

108. Don't tell dirty stories.

109. Stop being a mama's girl - don't let him think he'll have in-law trouble, even if he will.

110. Point out that the death rate of single men is twice that of married men.

111. Go to Yale.

112. Get a hunting licence.

113. If your mother is fat, tell him you take after your father. If he's fat too, tell him you're adopted!

114. Stow away on a battleship.

115. Rent a billboard and post your photo and phone number on it.

116. Paint your name and number on a roof and write 'give me a buzz pilots'.

117. Start a whispering campaign about how sought-after you are.

118. Sink at a fashionable beach of high noon.

119. Ride the airport back and forth from the airport.

120. Bribe Ferris-wheel operator to get you stuck at the top of the Ferris-wheel.

121. Stand on a busy street corner with a lasso.

122. Carry a camera and ask strange, handsome men if they can would mind snapping your picture.

123. Ask your mother to take in male boarders.

124. Make and sell toupees - bald men make easy catches.

125. Advertise for a male co-owner of a boat.

126. If you see a man with a flat, offer to catch it

127. Carry a tow chain in the trunk of your automobile.

128. Let it be known in your office that you have a button box and will sew on bachelor's loose button.

129. Don't marry him if he has too many loose buttons

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,523
Registered: ‎11-16-2014

Re: Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

LOL, it sounds like something my mom would have written. Woman LOL

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,327
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

Re: Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

Ahhh simplier times! I LOVE it! Heart

"Pure Michigan"
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,155
Registered: ‎03-03-2011

Re: Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

And my Mom would have added "it's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one". That's my Ma.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,216
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

Many of those ideas are just plain dangerous in today's society, and many are se$xist.  #114 will land you in jail.

They made women sound awfully desperate.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,128
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

An even funnier (sad) one from 1952: "Chesterfield first to give you scientific facts in support of smoking."

Keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,938
Registered: ‎11-08-2014

Re: Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

Hey, why didn't I think of that in my single days--  demonstrating fishing tackle in a sporting goods store.


I wonder how exactly you demonstrate fishing tackle?


A few are obviously tongue in cheek.  I like the one about setting up an easel outside an engineering school.  Then you could paint furiously away and hope they notice you.  Engineers like machinery, hardware and stuff, so you could paint industrial stuff, Rube Goldberg machines, ha.....


Apart from some of the clunkers, I think that some of them are probably still good bets for people (both men and women) who want to meet someone interesting and would like to get married.  'Walking a dog' is a classic!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,155
Registered: ‎03-03-2011

Re: Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

Our son realized how brilliant it was to take a Silky Terrier along with him on errands. He said the little fellas are "girl magnets". My son the genius.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,136
Registered: ‎08-31-2019

Re: Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

And the men's 1958 list of ways to Get a Wife:  1. Have a job 2. Have your own car. 3. Put the beer down.  4. Then just sit back and watch, as women work through 129 ways to catch your eye and please you. Arghhh! Funny, a lot of that hasn't changed, has it. 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 746
Registered: ‎03-31-2010

Re: Funny Article In 1958 Magazine...128 Ways to Get a Husband

Some of these are just too funny. Amazing how many of those are so wrong today but fine back then. I'm just wondering about #121. Were you supposed to "lasso" a guy that walked buy? Loved this list. Thanks for the entertainment @IG