Community Chat

[LilacTree]

On 4/5/2015 Kalli said:

Hi, Ford!

My mom has large joints in her fingers now and she can't get her wedding/engagement rings on anymore. But the saddest thing about my mom is she's in dementia and I wouldn't care what the rest of her looked like if I could only have her back with her wonderful loving and caring personality.

It seems you have a nice relationship with your grands. If you didn't spend any time with them they wouldn't even have noticed your hands, right? So that tells me you spend time with them and what a blessing that is!

Have a wonderful day!

I agree with you wholeheartedly. Nothing is worse than someone's mind and memory leaving them . . . nothing. I'll take physical illnesses over that any day. I'm so sorry you are going through this with your mom. How very sad for all of you.

I hope you have a pleasant Easter.

[Zhills]

Ford, some mirrors have a black base and make you look like that. Let's blame it on the mirror whether it is or not!

Don't be ashamed of your hands. They are the story of your life, good and bad!

Look at them and smile for all the love they have held through the years!

[akaburtonfan]

My mom also has very thin skin so bruises easily. She also has Reynaud's syndrome so her hands are generally ice cold and a purple/blue color. I'm sure when people who don't know her see them it's off putting. She will usually explain the problem if she's asked about them.

[Puzzle Piece]

Reading through most of the threads, here's my take. It might be a wonderful opportunity for your grandchildren to sit with you and their parent and learn that aging people are just folks that have lived life longer. Let them know that they will someday age so to remember to always take care of themselves health wise to be strong and full of energy. Let them know that aging just shows how much you've lived and loved in this life.

I know for lots of young children, they don't get exposed to seniors much so they are not sure how to process the information of aging.

I know a mirror is difficult for many females for various reasons, not just aging. I have difficulty but for another reason but I look in the hopes to someday conquer my fears.

[hennypenny]

Ford, you never need betray your daughter. Just find the right time and explain to the girls about you hands. Tell them that it upset you too the way they look. That you just wanted them to know why they look the way they do.

I have very ugly rumply hands, they have always been that way.I had old lady hands even as a child.

When I was first dating mr henny he went out and bought and installed a dishwasher for me. He was hoping it would help. It was the sweetest thing, but there is no help for my hands. Inherited them from my mother.

[Moonchilde]

With all due respect to everyone who has responded, it is up to Ford whether or not she broaches the subject to her daughter or granddaughters. It is her choice. It is her feelings. The OP was not about how wise and educational it would be to use Ford's condition as a teaching experience for her granddaughters. Or to strongly urge her to do something she does not feel comfortable doing. I can understand her reluctance, since she only knows because her daughter said something to her - as far as we know, her granddaughters have not. It would be more than awkward, first of all because the girls' mother would have broken their trust in her. Only Ford should decide. It should be about what she feels is best, not what others, however well meaning, decide will be a good teaching experience for someone else. Also, the granddaughters are not young, clueless children. Ford, do read up online about Raynaud's. It's a common condition. Your doctor may be able to offer some help. You clearly love your family and think of them before yourself. Just don't forget to care for yourself.

[Marienkaefer2]

Ford, I think the lighting in the bathroom emphasized certain things. This happens to me a lot. In one lighting I see something I don't like. In another, it's not noticeable. Remember, YOU fixate on these things, but others will not notice. They will see your beautiful smile, your shining eyes, your energetic lovely YOUNG spirit. As for your granddaughters, they are are a certain age where they would notice certain things more than others. I think the best approach is to forget your daughter told you that, and don't ever try to hide any part of yourself!

[ROMARY]

Sometimes fluorescent bulbs cast a different color on skin, clothes, etc. Have someone replace that one bulb in your bathroom with an incandescent. See if that helps regarding the color of your hands while brushing your teeth. (Whatever makes you/us feel good about yourself/ourselves is a good thing.)

[Toppers]

We have the same kind of lighting in our bathrooms, Ford. I think that it is called vanity lighting. The bulbs are round globes, on a flat lighting bar. They give off enough bright light, all combined.

I actually don't mind this kind of lighting, because it helps me to personally see better, because I don't have the best vision anymore, but I can certainly understand why you would be upset when looking at your hands, because this type of lighting can be very bright, where you can see all kinds of things in it.

One of my Grammas had very large hands with misshapened knuckles, due to arthritis. I never really paid much attention to how they looked, except I used to sit next to her and would hold her hand, I loved her so much.

If anything, I remember how soft and warm her hand was. She used to wear such pretty rings too, and I would look at the rings on her hands. Those were the things that I noticed.

[JustJazzmom]

Change out the bulbs from the daylight or GE Reveal bulbs which throw off blue light and make you notice everything to the ones that are soft white instead.