Community Chat

[LilacTree]

On 4/5/2015 SoftRaindrops said:

Hi Ford and Happy Easter!

Like Noel's grandma, mine also had RA and had the exact look to her beautiful hands as you are describing. All my memories just make me wish she was here today because like Noel's grandma, she was so loving. It was those hands that taught me to knit, sew and crochet and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.

Personally, I would tell your grand daughter's that you have RA and explain to them about it. I will never forget the time I asked my grandma about why her hands were starting to become crooked. I must have been about 5 or 6 and she explained all of it to me. I never forgot and I learned how never to judge anyone by their outward appearance. This is a perfect time for you to have a teaching moment for your granddaughters.One that they will never forget!

If they ever ask me, I will tell them. However, I don't expect them to do that. I always wear long sleeves when I go out, winter or summer (I'll probably wear my birthday black and white sweater today when we go down to LBI for Easter dinner). Those sleeves can cover my hands while it not being obvious.

Happy Easter to you as well SR whatever you are doing.

[NoelSeven]

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers

<ul> <li class="mod" style="clear: none;">

<br /> Clapped in church on Sunday morning<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Played a tambourine so well<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to issue out a warning<br /> She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast<br /> Might fall on a piece of glass<br /> Might be snakes there in that grass"<br /> Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands<br /> Soothed a local unwed mother<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to ache sometimes and swell<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to lift her face and tell her<br /> She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands<br /> That you really love that man<br /> Put yourself in Jesus hands"<br /> Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands<br /> Used to hand me piece of candy<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Picked me up each time I fell<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Boy, they really came in handy<br /> She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy<br /> What you want to spank him for?<br /> He didn't drop no apple core".

</li> </ul>

youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

You're welcome, it has meaning for me, also

You and I are warriors among many, of course we have bruises and scars. Don't feel bad about how your hands look, Ford. Those who love you will see their beauty.

They are both beautiful young girls, one is 12 and the other 15, and I can't expect them to have any "deep thinking" about my health issues. They can't even remember when I was not sick. I am not only a "grandma" now, I am an old one. I say that because I remember my oldest grandchildren (now 27 and 25) who used to distinguish between me and their other grandmother by saying I was "young grandma," and she was "old grandma."

Life is ironic, isn't it?

I'm with SR, teach them. You have power here, use it, it will be a life lesson for them.

My grandmother was old, she lived to be in her 80s. She broke her hip in the later years and always walked with a crutch. When I felt bad, she's the one I went to, and she was always full of love for me. She had a large closet and she made it into a fort, a playroom for us. She set up two chairs and a little table and taught me how to play checkers in there, and like SR's grandmother, she taught me how to knit and crochet. She read Shakespeare to me. It was my safe place.

If I had her back, I would take care of her, I miss her every day, too.

Her hands were crippled and she walked crooked with that crutch lifting one armpit. And what do I remember? Grandma's hands, which I dearly loved.

[LilacTree]

On 4/5/2015 Madisson said:

Ford, dehydration can make the veins on the back of your hands appear to be very prominent.

You mentioned that your skin appeared purplish and that you have RA. Raynaud's phenomenon is often secondary to RA. It can make the fingers (and certain other areas of the body) cold and appear usually white first...then bluish/purplish...then reddish with some tingling...and then back to normal. It can vary from person to person.

You might want to check with your personal physician.

Exactly how they look, first white and then darken to a purplish red, which I am used to. In the bathroom though, they looked black!

[NoelSeven]

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 SoftRaindrops said:

Hi Ford and Happy Easter!

Like Noel's grandma, mine also had RA and had the exact look to her beautiful hands as you are describing. All my memories just make me wish she was here today because like Noel's grandma, she was so loving. It was those hands that taught me to knit, sew and crochet and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.

Personally, I would tell your grand daughter's that you have RA and explain to them about it. I will never forget the time I asked my grandma about why her hands were starting to become crooked. I must have been about 5 or 6 and she explained all of it to me. I never forgot and I learned how never to judge anyone by their outward appearance. This is a perfect time for you to have a teaching moment for your granddaughters.One that they will never forget!

If they ever ask me, I will tell them. However, I don't expect them to do that. I always wear long sleeves when I go out, winter or summer (I'll probably wear my birthday black and white sweater today when we go down to LBI for Easter dinner). Those sleeves can cover my hands while it not being obvious.

Happy Easter to you as well SR whatever you are doing.

Don't wait for them to ask, Ford. Be proactive.

[NoelSeven]

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 Madisson said:

Ford, dehydration can make the veins on the back of your hands appear to be very prominent.

You mentioned that your skin appeared purplish and that you have RA. Raynaud's phenomenon is often secondary to RA. It can make the fingers (and certain other areas of the body) cold and appear usually white first...then bluish/purplish...then reddish with some tingling...and then back to normal. It can vary from person to person.

You might want to check with your personal physician.

Exactly how they look, first white and then darken to a purplish red, which I am used to. In the bathroom though, they looked black!

That's Raynaud's, I have it, too.

Fill the sink with enough very warm water to cover your hands and put them in the water for a few minutes. It will go away. Wear gloves on cold days to keep your fingers warm.

[LilacTree]

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers

<ul> <li class="mod" style="clear: none;">

<br /> Clapped in church on Sunday morning<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Played a tambourine so well<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to issue out a warning<br /> She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast<br /> Might fall on a piece of glass<br /> Might be snakes there in that grass"<br /> Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands<br /> Soothed a local unwed mother<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to ache sometimes and swell<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to lift her face and tell her<br /> She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands<br /> That you really love that man<br /> Put yourself in Jesus hands"<br /> Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands<br /> Used to hand me piece of candy<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Picked me up each time I fell<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Boy, they really came in handy<br /> She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy<br /> What you want to spank him for?<br /> He didn't drop no apple core".

</li> </ul>

youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

You're welcome, it has meaning for me, also

You and I are warriors among many, of course we have bruises and scars. Don't feel bad about how your hands look, Ford. Those who love you will see their beauty.

They are both beautiful young girls, one is 12 and the other 15, and I can't expect them to have any "deep thinking" about my health issues. They can't even remember when I was not sick. I am not only a "grandma" now, I am an old one. I say that because I remember my oldest grandchildren (now 27 and 25) who used to distinguish between me and their other grandmother by saying I was "young grandma," and she was "old grandma."

Life is ironic, isn't it?

I'm with SR, teach them. You have power here, use it, it will be a life lesson for them.

My grandmother was old, she lived to be in her 80s. She broke her hip in the later years and always walked with a crutch. When I felt bad, she's the one I went to, and she was always full of love for me. She had a large closet and she made it into a fort, a playroom for us. She set up two chairs and a little table and taught me how to play checkers in there, and like SR's grandmother, she taught me how to knit and crochet. She read Shakespeare to me. It was my safe place.

If I had her back, I would take care of her, I miss her every day, too.

Her hands were crippled and she walked crooked with that crutch lifting one armpit. And what do I remember? Grandma's hands, which I dearly loved.

I never had grandparents. They were all either already dead or died when I was very, very young, a small child. There was my mother's mother, who I do not call a grandmother, as she was an evil woman. So I never had that lovely experience you and SR had. I feel I missed out.

Unfortunately, and I hate to say this because it is the norm these days . . . when I go to my daughter's house, my granddaughters hug me hello and then depart for the living room sofa where they spend all of their time on their smart phones, or iPads, whatever it is they have. Why my daughter allows this, I do not know. I have mentioned it to her several times and she just laughs and says, "that's how they all are now, mom!" That's sad.

[LilacTree]

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 Madisson said:

Ford, dehydration can make the veins on the back of your hands appear to be very prominent.

You mentioned that your skin appeared purplish and that you have RA. Raynaud's phenomenon is often secondary to RA. It can make the fingers (and certain other areas of the body) cold and appear usually white first...then bluish/purplish...then reddish with some tingling...and then back to normal. It can vary from person to person.

You might want to check with your personal physician.

Exactly how they look, first white and then darken to a purplish red, which I am used to. In the bathroom though, they looked black!

That's Raynaud's, I have it, too.

Fill the sink with enough very warm water to cover your hands and put them in the water for a few minutes. It will go away. Wear gloves on cold days to keep your fingers warm.

OMG, I always wear gloves, noel, always . . . even on not so cold days. Just as I always wear sunglasses, summer and winter.

[hennypenny]

The greatest gift we can give to our children and grandchildren is to teach. They in turn, one day, pass your lessons on. We live on in our deeds and teachings.

Happy Easter everyone!

[LilacTree]

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 SoftRaindrops said:

Hi Ford and Happy Easter!

Like Noel's grandma, mine also had RA and had the exact look to her beautiful hands as you are describing. All my memories just make me wish she was here today because like Noel's grandma, she was so loving. It was those hands that taught me to knit, sew and crochet and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.

Personally, I would tell your grand daughter's that you have RA and explain to them about it. I will never forget the time I asked my grandma about why her hands were starting to become crooked. I must have been about 5 or 6 and she explained all of it to me. I never forgot and I learned how never to judge anyone by their outward appearance. This is a perfect time for you to have a teaching moment for your granddaughters.One that they will never forget!

If they ever ask me, I will tell them. However, I don't expect them to do that. I always wear long sleeves when I go out, winter or summer (I'll probably wear my birthday black and white sweater today when we go down to LBI for Easter dinner). Those sleeves can cover my hands while it not being obvious.

Happy Easter to you as well SR whatever you are doing.

Don't wait for them to ask, Ford. Be proactive.

I know you're right. I'll try. I will have to clear it with my daughter first though.

[Kalli]

Hi, Ford!

My mom has large joints in her fingers now and she can't get her wedding/engagement rings on anymore. But the saddest thing about my mom is she's in dementia and I wouldn't care what the rest of her looked like if I could only have her back with her wonderful loving and caring personality.

It seems you have a nice relationship with your grands. If you didn't spend any time with them they wouldn't even have noticed your hands, right? So that tells me you spend time with them and what a blessing that is!

Have a wonderful day!