Community Chat

[LilacTree]

It's probably the lighting in the bathroom, but last night I was brushing my teeth and noticed my hands in the mirror. My veins were almost black and popping out like huge ropes, even my skin was dark purple. That, coupled with my two right fingers which now sway toward the outside of my hand, and the RA nodules and swellings on all of my knuckles was a horrible sight to see! They looked like the hands of a witch!

From the move I can understand the bruises all over my arms and legs, I have very thin skin now and all I have to do is pinch it and a bruise will appear. They start out purple and then get very dark, almost black, before they fade away to yellow, which takes weeks.

I know it's aging, coupled with RA, but I think something vascular may be going on as well. I looked several things up . . . all scary. However, today sitting at the computer, the sun shining, my veins look normal (which have always been prominent). I just will not use that bathroom mirror anymore. I'll brush my teeth in the shower. I don't know if I am allowed to change the light fixture (those round bulbs that spread horizontally along a strip). If so, I may do that.

My LBI daughter told me once that my granddaughters do not like to look at my hands. Maybe I should wear gloves?

[newziesuzie]

Maybe just replace the type of light bulbs instead of the whole fixture? Some types arent flattering to anybody.

As for your grand daughters wouldn't it be better to teach them about not being fixated on outer appearances and focusing on the inner beauty of people instead of covering up your hands?

[LilacTree]

On 4/5/2015 newziesuzie said:

Maybe just replace the type of light bulbs instead of the whole fixture? Some types arent flattering to anybody.

As for your grand daughters wouldn't it be better to teach them about not being fixated on outer appearances and focusing on the inner beauty of people instead of covering up your hands?

I agree. I don't know how to handle that. I don't think they'd like it that their mom told me that.

[NoelSeven]

Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers

• 
  Clapped in church on Sunday morning
  Grandma's hands
  Played a tambourine so well
  Grandma's hands
  Used to issue out a warning
  She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast
  Might fall on a piece of glass
  Might be snakes there in that grass"
  Grandma's hands

  Grandma's hands
  Soothed a local unwed mother
  Grandma's hands
  Used to ache sometimes and swell
  Grandma's hands
  Used to lift her face and tell her
  She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands
  That you really love that man
  Put yourself in Jesus hands"
  Grandma's hands

  Grandma's hands
  Used to hand me piece of candy
  Grandma's hands
  Picked me up each time I fell
  Grandma's hands
  Boy, they really came in handy
  She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy
  What you want to spank him for?
  He didn't drop no apple core".

youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

[kdgn]

Ford, perhaps your granddaughters don't like looking at your hands because it reminds them of the constant pain that you're in. It's not that they think that your hands are ugly or misshapen, but they are one outward appearance of what you go through on a daily basis. It's a reminder.....and it makes them sad.

One of my grandmothers had a hunched back. It was as a result of breaking her back while at work. I can remember hugging her and feeling that corset. It made me sad because I knew how much her back always hurt. I was around 8.

[Madisson]

Ford, dehydration can make the veins on the back of your hands appear to be very prominent.

You mentioned that your skin appeared purplish and that you have RA. Raynaud's phenomenon is often secondary to RA. It can make the fingers (and certain other areas of the body) cold and appear usually white first...then bluish/purplish...then reddish with some tingling...and then back to normal. It can vary from person to person.

You might want to check with your personal physician.

[LilacTree]

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers

• 
  Clapped in church on Sunday morning
  Grandma's hands
  Played a tambourine so well
  Grandma's hands
  Used to issue out a warning
  She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast
  Might fall on a piece of glass
  Might be snakes there in that grass"
  Grandma's hands

  Grandma's hands
  Soothed a local unwed mother
  Grandma's hands
  Used to ache sometimes and swell
  Grandma's hands
  Used to lift her face and tell her
  She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands
  That you really love that man
  Put yourself in Jesus hands"
  Grandma's hands

  Grandma's hands
  Used to hand me piece of candy
  Grandma's hands
  Picked me up each time I fell
  Grandma's hands
  Boy, they really came in handy
  She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy
  What you want to spank him for?
  He didn't drop no apple core".

youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

[NoelSeven]

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers

<ul> <li class="mod" style="clear: none;">

<br /> Clapped in church on Sunday morning<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Played a tambourine so well<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to issue out a warning<br /> She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast<br /> Might fall on a piece of glass<br /> Might be snakes there in that grass"<br /> Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands<br /> Soothed a local unwed mother<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to ache sometimes and swell<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to lift her face and tell her<br /> She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands<br /> That you really love that man<br /> Put yourself in Jesus hands"<br /> Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands<br /> Used to hand me piece of candy<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Picked me up each time I fell<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Boy, they really came in handy<br /> She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy<br /> What you want to spank him for?<br /> He didn't drop no apple core".

</li> </ul>

youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

You're welcome, it has meaning for me, also

You and I are warriors among many, of course we have bruises and scars. Don't feel bad about how your hands look, Ford. Those who love you will see their beauty.

[VioletEyes]

Hi Ford and Happy Easter!

Like Noel's grandma, mine also had RA and had the exact look to her beautiful hands as you are describing. All my memories just make me wish she was here today because like Noel's grandma, she was so loving. It was those hands that taught me to knit, sew and crochet and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.

Personally, I would tell your grand daughter's that you have RA and explain to them about it. I will never forget the time I asked my grandma about why her hands were starting to become crooked. I must have been about 5 or 6 and she explained all of it to me. I never forgot and I learned how never to judge anyone by their outward appearance. This is a perfect time for you to have a teaching moment for your granddaughters.One that they will never forget!

[LilacTree]

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:

Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers

<ul> <li class="mod" style="clear: none;">

<br /> Clapped in church on Sunday morning<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Played a tambourine so well<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to issue out a warning<br /> She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast<br /> Might fall on a piece of glass<br /> Might be snakes there in that grass"<br /> Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands<br /> Soothed a local unwed mother<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to ache sometimes and swell<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Used to lift her face and tell her<br /> She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands<br /> That you really love that man<br /> Put yourself in Jesus hands"<br /> Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands<br /> Used to hand me piece of candy<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Picked me up each time I fell<br /> Grandma's hands<br /> Boy, they really came in handy<br /> She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy<br /> What you want to spank him for?<br /> He didn't drop no apple core".

</li> </ul>

youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

You're welcome, it has meaning for me, also

You and I are warriors among many, of course we have bruises and scars. Don't feel bad about how your hands look, Ford. Those who love you will see their beauty.

They are both beautiful young girls, one is 12 and the other 15, and I can't expect them to have any "deep thinking" about my health issues. They can't even remember when I was not sick. I am not only a "grandma" now, I am an old one. I say that because I remember my oldest grandchildren (now 27 and 25) who used to distinguish between me and their other grandmother by saying I was "young grandma," and she was "old grandma."

Life is ironic, isn't it?