Friends hurtful comments (how to ignore?) - Page 4

BORN AGAIN · ‎03-09-2010

Im cut and dry about things. You have 2 choices. (1) You can tell her whats bothering you and risk your friendship. (2) Limit your time with her and dont talk about sore subjects. Weigh your options on how much you care about her.

Clover29 · ‎03-09-2010

On 7/24/2014 BuffaloBabe said:
On 7/22/2014 colliemom3 said:
Do you think she may be jealous of the other friendships you have?

colliemom3, I think you hit the nail on the head.

Why would you think that? I'm not jealous of how many "friends" someone has on Facebook, I think it's silly (but it's everyone's right to have those "friends", I'm just not interested). I wouldn't want to hear someone I considered a friend in real life, constantly talking about people on her Facebook page. Jealousy doesn't come into it. I know people who only ever talk about their kids, but I'm not jealous that they have kids.

colliegirls · ‎05-13-2012

Are you constantly talking about your so called "Facebook" friends? Many times they are not friends at all, just acquaintances or less. During a conversation with this friend, I would talk about mutual friends, not referring to them as "facebook" friends. It is probably Facebook she dislikes, not you, but if you go on and on about it, it may be toooo much.

MyBoyRusty · ‎11-07-2013

I also have a cousin on Facebook and she's extremely obsessed about a female singer from the past that's all she talks and posts about myself and others have told her that she's taking this too far but she won't listen to anyone.

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

I'm also 60 and have a friend that I've been close to since we were both 10 years old. I know how you feel because my friend will also make subtle and snide comments to me. For me it's not about Facebook but money.

My friend will always bring up the fact that she had to work full time while raising her two kids and I was a stay at home mom. Money is a constant and sore issue for her. She's been married to the same man for close to 40 years and I have no idea what sort of household income they have but she's' not poor. Her house is paid for and they have a vacation home at the beach but she's always crying the blues about the lack of it.

Over the years I have made a genuine effort to not brag about anything new that costs a lot that I do....but nevertheless she still brings up the fact that she had to work full time all those years and I got to stay at home...UGH! our kids are all in their mid 20s to early 30s now and it's still a sore spot for her....as if it were my fault that she had to work.

Though I try to mention little about money (for example we're going to France in the fall and I haven't told her) she still has a way to bring it up. She even said to me not too long ago that she and her husband wondered how we managed so well on only one income! I was astounded that she would say this!

So I understand how you might be feeling. My only suggestion is the same as others here...to not bring up Facebook. It should help a bit but it seems like there is an underlying issue of jealousy perhaps.

pinkskates4 · ‎03-10-2010

On 7/25/2014 haddon9 said:
I'm also 60 and have a friend that I've been close to since we were both 10 years old. I know how you feel because my friend will also make subtle and snide comments to me. For me it's not about Facebook but money.

My friend will always bring up the fact that she had to work full time while raising her two kids and I was a stay at home mom. Money is a constant and sore issue for her. She's been married to the same man for close to 40 years and I have no idea what sort of household income they have but she's' not poor. Her house is paid for and they have a vacation home at the beach but she's always crying the blues about the lack of it.

Over the years I have made a genuine effort to not brag about anything new that costs a lot that I do....but nevertheless she still brings up the fact that she had to work full time all those years and I got to stay at home...UGH! our kids are all in their mid 20s to early 30s now and it's still a sore spot for her....as if it were my fault that she had to work.

Though I try to mention little about money (for example we're going to France in the fall and I haven't told her) she still has a way to bring it up. She even said to me not too long ago that she and her husband wondered how we managed so well on only one income! I was astounded that she would say this!

So I understand how you might be feeling. My only suggestion is the same as others here...to not bring up Facebook. It should help a bit but it seems like there is an underlying issue of jealousy perhaps.

I admire your restraint.

I'd have told her a long time ago that it was not my fault that she had to work and that I was tired of her acting like I should feel bad about it.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

I guess I wonder why the subject of how you respectively use FB comes up often enough to be an issue.

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

TX-starlight · ‎03-10-2010

On 7/24/2014 BuffaloBabe said:
On 7/22/2014 colliemom3 said:
Do you think she may be jealous of the other friendships you have?

colliemom3, I think you hit the nail on the head.

I think both of you are right. It isn't that we talk constantly about FB, but we have same friends in life as on FB & we talk in general about what is going on in their life. Which just happens to come from what we readon FB abou what might be going on with someone. So I can't exactly say it IS FB that we talk about. I have realized she is much more moody than I ever realized. For instance when she starts talking about the BF issue (a rocky relationship)... she gets off on what HE posts on FB. He eyes almost turn to fire when she gets on that kick. that is why I try to limit conversation away from FB & him in general. I guess overall there is alot of things going on here,lol...It just seems to stem from social interaction on her part. She wants little to do with many people at all. I am just the opposite. I like to keep in touch with many people, all from different social circles. her life revolves around her daughter & G-daughter. There IS more to life than family. I have many friends who mean as much to me as family. Maybe that is from being an only child.

Tks for letting me vent about all this that has been bothering me for awhile. Maybe I figured it out on my own.

Hayfield · ‎03-10-2010

Why is Facebook even a topic of conversation? I'm on Facebook, only because my son was home one day and he opened the account for me. I don't post that much and I don't have many friends on it. If you value her friendship I wouldn't talk about Facebook. I have a friend that I've known all my life, she's 11 years older than me and our mothers were friends. Anyway, we never, ever talk about politics, not that we think much differently, politically that is, it's just that we have so many other things to talk about, it rarely comes up. So don't bring up Facebook.

LTT1 · ‎03-09-2010

As we grow up we tend to grow away from each other. I remember a few times being dismayed that my friends did not grow in the same way, with the same interests as mine.

These paths are not something that friends can change about each other. If you want to remain friends, perhaps guide the conversation away from issues that you know are sensitive and leave well enough alone?

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~