Friends getting old at heart! - Page 2

Suziepeach · ‎03-10-2010

I honestly don't have but a very few friends in real life- when tragedy hits or you need them, that's when you find out who your friends are. Same as on this BB, I am not close to anyone plus some are really good at showing their friendship to me, which is none and ignoring, same as in real life. (my remarks are in reference to how friends or so called friends can be and act)

My sweet husband is the truest friend I've ever had.. he's stood by my side through thick and thin..

Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

That's only happened with one friend. She was a co-worker. So happened to be the age of my mother. We kept in touch for close to twenty years. We had a lot of hobbies in common. When I moved out of state, I'd meet up with her when I was in town to see family. I ended up dreading those meetings. She was so negative. I finally stopped calling and that was it.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
I do believe that we sometimes outgrow our friends; people age differently; we take different paths in life. So, even the best of friends might come to the point at which they have very little in common and worse, they don't enjoy each other's company anymore. I experienced that when I was younger. I was a sahm for almost 10 years and I enjoyed being part of a group of fellow sahms. We were the best of friends. We supported each other through a lot "stuff" in our lives. I thought we would be friends for life but it just didn't work out that way. I changed; I grew; I developed other interests. It's been 20 years and now I can see it clearly but I didn't see it that way at the time. If I had, I might have worked to establish common ties.

@Chrystaltree2

This is the exact same thing I would have posted.

People move in and out of our lives as our position in life changes. If we are lucky, we have a few really good lifelong friends that come along for the entire ride.

It can be a little sad, as we or others move on in life, but it is what it is. They were in our lives for a reason (or we in their's) and we are meant to touch others lives for some reason (or they are meant to touch ours).

And the older I get, I try to at least understand when someone I was so in sync with, becomes so different from me (or me different from them?). I try to remember that we all experience different things, and they effect us in different ways. My reality is not theirs, and there may be a multitude of reasons why they do what they do, or think like they think, or behave like they behave.

A little less judgment, and more focus on being who I should be.

susan kay · ‎06-28-2011

151949, what a heart warming story for Valentine's Day!!!

Burnsite · ‎03-10-2010

I would say the period when I lost touch with the most friends was in our 30s, when they had small children and dropped most of their social activities--rightfully, of course, to honor such an important commitment. Some, with their children grown up and settled, are now getting back in touch, which is a delight.

Only two of my close friends have retired, and they haven't changed a bit over the years. They are cheerful people, though both face difficult illnesses.

My other three or four age-peers and close friends that I have known most of my life are still working, as I am, and it's invaluable to compare notes with them, as the workplace is a bit less friendly to older workers. A chill in the air so to speak. It's nice to trade experiences with them.

No one I know is any crabbier than they used to be. My sweet older brothers have very much mellowed and become happier in their retirements.

LonestarBabs · ‎06-26-2011

That's why I stopped going to high school reunions. Went to the 10th and 20th and that was enough. Couldn't relate anymore, because I was leading a different life. Most of them had stayed within 100 miles, married, had kids, same job or women stopped working to stay at home. I remained single, had moved around, career progressed, was enthusiastic and fun-loving. Couldn't get anyone to go out after the reunion's activities and all anyone wanted to do was show pictures of their kids and talk about them. At lot of them were old at heart at a young age.

The judgements made verbally or with their eyes were quite unpleasant.

The 40th is coming up and now everyone is focused on grandkids and I can't recognize pictures of any of my former classmates. No, I won't be attending.

One woman whom I ran around with years ago recently got back in touch with me, and we are having a great time reconnecting!

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

I agree with much that has been said here about "growing out" of friendships, interests changing, etc. it happens. And I even had a co-worker *exactly* like the one described.

But I'd like to comment on one aspect of these changes -

As people age, not everyone's body ages the same. Some have more physical issues than others, some are naturally more physically fit and healthy than others.

I have experienced, and I can't be the only one, people I thought were friends who poo-pooed aches and pains, physical degeneration and legitimate reasons why I could no longer be as physically active as I was.

I was pretty much called a liar if I said I couldn't do something or go somewhere - it was just an excuse. I must not really want to go, etc. and my saying no meant I was brushing off and insulting people simply by my saying "I can't" physically.

As far as crabby - is everyone positive they know the difference between a person who is crabby about everything and everyone all the time, and a person whom chronic pain and disability has made crabby, especially if they are reminded of and/or pushed to do things they can't any more?

Food for thought, I hope.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

jaxs mom · ‎04-18-2012

@HULAGIRL wrote:
Do you find that some of the friends you used to have such a good time with have turned into a bunch of gossipy, complaining, nit-picking old ladies?? I guess I'll always be 30 in my heart......it's kind of sad that I don't enjoy being around these people anymore. I still love to dance, love fashion, love to laugh a lot. Some of my friends have turned into the little old ladies that sit in the same pew every Sunday and make snarky remarkes about everyone who enters church.......who moan and complain about everything and seem miserable in their lives.

My personal friends, no. But I sure can tell a lot of people are like that, from reading the forums.

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

If friendships have evolved in a negative way, I ease out of them. Life is too short.

hckynutjohn · ‎06-15-2015

@HULAGIRL

I don't find that in my friends. Some I "knew" were like that when they were younger, but I spent little time around those type of acquaintances. Only around them when it was by chance or unavoidable.

Men that have been my friends for decades I see little to no change in them in that regard.

hckynut(john)