Forgivness - Page 8

NoelSeven · ‎03-09-2010

On 11/20/2014 happy housewife said:
On 11/20/2014 YorkieonmyPillow said:
Who is the OP judging?

She stated that it is better to forgive than to live in bitterness and anger. She didn't call any particular person out.

You confuse them when you use reason and common sense.

This seems to be a case of "Physician, heal thyself."

A Thrill Of Hope The Weary World Rejoices

brii · ‎06-20-2010

On 11/20/2014 Ford1224 said:
If the individual you can't forgive is still torturing someone you love with no end in sight, there is no forgiving, and certainly no forgetting. There is only increasing acrimony and loathing.

Yes, that is so true.

JuJu Squeezie · ‎08-16-2013

On 11/20/2014 happy housewife said:
I know a woman who is 89 years old - she suffers terribly from depression and mental illness and all - and I mean ALL she talks about is how difficult her life was growing up during the depression etc. How the depression and the war ruined her childhood and early adult life etc etc etc. Almost everyone - including her own children stopped listening many years ago and she just can not let go of that hate and the woe is me attitude 24/7/365 for all these years. She has made herself into a lonely old woman who no one wants to spend any time with. This is not just since she has been elderly - I have known her for 31 years as she is a family member of my DH, and she has been like this for the whole 31 years. Her husband has passed on now - when he was alive he drank - a lot - I would have too.

"She suffers terribly from depression and mental illness" and you suffer from being cruel.

Cranberries · ‎03-09-2010

On 11/20/2014 happy housewife said:
I know a woman who is 89 years old - she suffers terribly from depression and mental illness and all - and I mean ALL she talks about is how difficult her life was growing up during the depression etc. How the depression and the war ruined her childhood and early adult life etc etc etc. Almost everyone - including her own children stopped listening many years ago and she just can not let go of that hate and the woe is me attitude 24/7/365 for all these years. She has made herself into a lonely old woman who no one wants to spend any time with. This is not just since she has been elderly - I have known her for 31 years as she is a family member of my DH, and she has been like this for the whole 31 years. Her husband has passed on now - when he was alive he drank - a lot - I would have too.

So for 31 years you've endured this and never once did you pull yourself out of it? Sad.

reese2 · ‎03-10-2010

On 11/20/2014 happy housewife said:
On 11/20/2014 YorkieonmyPillow said:
Who is the OP judging?

She stated that it is better to forgive than to live in bitterness and anger. She didn't call any particular person out.

You confuse them when you use reason and common sense.

You don't confuse me, HH, and if you think your cruel outlook toward people is reasonable and brimming with common sense, that's truly tragic.

HisElk · ‎09-30-2012

On 11/20/2014 JuJu Squeezie said:
On 11/20/2014 happy housewife said:
I know a woman who is 89 years old - she suffers terribly from depression and mental illness and all - and I mean ALL she talks about is how difficult her life was growing up during the depression etc. How the depression and the war ruined her childhood and early adult life etc etc etc. Almost everyone - including her own children stopped listening many years ago and she just can not let go of that hate and the woe is me attitude 24/7/365 for all these years. She has made herself into a lonely old woman who no one wants to spend any time with. This is not just since she has been elderly - I have known her for 31 years as she is a family member of my DH, and she has been like this for the whole 31 years. Her husband has passed on now - when he was alive he drank - a lot - I would have too.

"She suffers terribly from depression and mental illness" and you suffer from being cruel.

Boy, do we ever think alike. I should have known when I saw this thread started yesterday that it was nothing but a pot stirring thread by OP. That's her MO IMO.

JuJu Squeezie · ‎08-16-2013

On 11/20/2014 HisElk said:
On 11/20/2014 JuJu Squeezie said:
On 11/20/2014 happy housewife said:
I know a woman who is 89 years old - she suffers terribly from depression and mental illness and all - and I mean ALL she talks about is how difficult her life was growing up during the depression etc. How the depression and the war ruined her childhood and early adult life etc etc etc. Almost everyone - including her own children stopped listening many years ago and she just can not let go of that hate and the woe is me attitude 24/7/365 for all these years. She has made herself into a lonely old woman who no one wants to spend any time with. This is not just since she has been elderly - I have known her for 31 years as she is a family member of my DH, and she has been like this for the whole 31 years. Her husband has passed on now - when he was alive he drank - a lot - I would have too.

"She suffers terribly from depression and mental illness" and you suffer from being cruel.

Boy, do we ever think alike. I should have known when I saw this thread started yesterday that it was nothing but a pot stirring thread by OP. That's her MO IMO.

Yes and she even seems to be proud of herself.

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I think it is good to live in a state of forgiveness. You don't have to forget....just limit the time you think about it. Having a thought and letting it nest are two different things. The person may well deserve your hate and loathing...but you don't deserve to be in a state of loathing and hate the rest of your life. Look what that person has done to you? They have literally kept your mind on your disgust and loathing for them...they get all the attention. I'll be darned if I let someone have that much space in my mind. No sir, that space is reserved for better things!

VioletEyes · ‎03-12-2010

On 11/20/2014 Complicated said:
Another thing, since I am on a roll...

Comparing one person's tragedy or horror is futile.

Everyone has personal trials, tribulations, and joys. They are not comparable, nor should we attempt to.

Many of us have lost children, suffered unspeakable loss and never share it here. And her trying to manipulate this thread to make it all about her and her sainthood in forgiving is just more of her typical judgmental posts.

Zhills · ‎11-15-2011

On 11/20/2014 happy housewife said:
On 11/20/2014 colliegirls said:
On 11/20/2014 jubilant said:
On 11/20/2014 colliegirls said:
I am not sure that "forgiveness" is always the accurate description, often it is learning to live with it and moving on from it.

I understand what you mean, I think. I am not talking about everyday flaws that we all have and accommodating each other along the way. Yes, there are many things we need to overlook and just "get over it". If you can learn to live with someone who has many faults and can handle it and rise above it and maintain your sanity, great! If you cannot understand why every time you are around or with a certain person ....things go downhill....then you need to address it. We really do "teach" people how to treat us by what we do allow and what we don't allow whether we realize it or not.

I was referring to something major or tragic in one's life. Not always about forgiveness (I never say "get over it" if its major ), its more about removing yourself from the person or situation, perhaps getting counseling, and doing whatever it takes to survive or lighten your load. Some people are evil and negative and we cannot subject ourselves to them, no matter who they are.

In the case of a murderer, not many can forgive the perpetrator, but the survivors have to work around the pain to live. Some pain is really a life long struggle. There is no easy answer.

My husband was murdered - what could happen that was more tragic than that???? Some people choose to wallow in their painful memories - yes they do - as someone else said , they hold onto it like it is gold. It then destroys their lives.

This was certainly a horrible experience. Glad you can move past it. However, you are not expected to forgive the murderer and sit next to and be nice to at Thanksgiving! Forgiving is one thing, it helps you. Getting over it and being nice....No Thanks! Not in my book!