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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,231
Registered: ‎01-05-2017

You are hilarious!!  I can relate.Smiley Very Happy

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

twopeas...thank you, thank you, thank you for this.  I checked in just before going to bed and it made me laugh and going off to sleep feeling good.  You deserve a medal.


@pattypeep wrote:
 

1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds; only 15  to go ...

 

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes ... Well, really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ..

And  cheese... And sausage… FINE, it was a pizza... I ate a pizza.

 

3. How to prepare Tofu: 1. Throw it in the trash. 2. Grill some Meat.

 

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web...

 

5. I don't mean to brag but I finished my 14-day supply of diet food in 3 hours and  20 minutes ...

 

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it...

 

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it... when I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel...

 

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me...

 

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?  Me neither.

 

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented, but… I forgot where  I was going with this ...

 

11. I love being over 70; I learn something new every day and forget 5 others...

 

12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money; when I woke up, I searched with him...



 
 
 
 


 

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam