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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,401
Registered: ‎06-06-2011
 

1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds; only 15  to go ...

 

2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes ... Well, really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ..

And  cheese... And sausage… FINE, it was a pizza... I ate a pizza.

 

3. How to prepare Tofu: 1. Throw it in the trash. 2. Grill some Meat.

 

4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web...

 

5. I don't mean to brag but I finished my 14-day supply of diet food in 3 hours and  20 minutes ...

 

6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it...

 

7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it... when I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel...

 

8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me...

 

9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?  Me neither.

 

10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented, but… I forgot where  I was going with this ...

 

11. I love being over 70; I learn something new every day and forget 5 others...

 

12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money; when I woke up, I searched with him...



 
 
 
 

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea-Robert A. Heinlein
Honored Contributor
Posts: 26,004
Registered: ‎01-10-2013

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,191
Registered: ‎07-15-2016

Re: For My Older Friends

[ Edited ]
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,812
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@pattypeep, that's just tooooooooooooooooo darn funny!!!!!!

 

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Go VOLS
Rocky Top you'll always be home sweet home to me.. Good ole Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee... Rocky Top Tennessee
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Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,014
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Absotively!!!!

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,900
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Absolutely priceless!  Thanks for the laughs!

~Breathe In~ Breathe Out~ Move On~
Honored Contributor
Posts: 32,613
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Oh my heavens....so funny...lol

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,378
Registered: ‎11-01-2010

@pattypeep

 

lol very funny! 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,075
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Woman LOL

Contributor
Posts: 36
Registered: ‎02-24-2016

This is just TOO funny.  Thank you!