Community Chat

[Burnsite]

In my own life, I write such a person off and don't trust them again. Life is too short to deal with manipulative people.

If you are talking about public figures, though, I don't care that much about people I don't know.  We never know the context in which people are speaking when they are surrounded by media ready to pounce.

[HappyDaze]

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@Marp wrote:

When you see someone apologize for something because they "didn't know" or "didn't understand" or "didn't think they did anything wrong" then continue to repeat the behaviors for which they apologize do you tend to just ignore the apologies as insincere, see the individual as a "troublemaker" feigning innocence or react in a different way?

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I believe people UNLESS they do what I highlighted above because it is then obvious that their apology wasn't sincere. If it is a pattern of behaviour with that person, then I ignore them and don't respond to their posts in the future because yes, I'd consider them a troublemaker.

It is similar behaviour as those that  start off saying this is not a bash post or that they aren't trying to be mean but....and then go on to bash a person or say something mean (mean= saying something that is in no way productive and has no value or purpose whatsoever and can only be hurtful) No difference, imo.

[pitdakota]

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@Marp wrote:

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@pitdakota wrote:

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I was on for short periods of time last evening, so I don't know about what happened, but you make great points here @Say Nay.

@Marp, good question!  We have a family member on DH's side of the family (ummmm...better not mention the relationship here, LOL) that does this all of the time.  She will apologize for something mutiple ways and multiple times.  Then turns right around and does the same type of thing to someone else.  No one takes her seriously these days and just tends to minimize her.  That however tends to escalate her behavior at times.  DH has questioned in the past if it is attention seeking behavior. 

Bottom line though is that no one puts much stock into what she does say and few people in the family really trust her.  Her behavior does undermine other people trusting her.  If she is really serious about being sorry, she would not turn around and do the very same thing with someone else in her family or circle of friends. She is smart enough to know what she is doing though, she is not that obtuse.  Good thing for us?  We only have to be around her once a year! 

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Hi Pit, so good to "see" you.  There are a lot of parallels in your post and I was wondering if perhaps I was being too cynical or short-sighted about a compulsive apologizer.

I still don't have an answer I'm fully comfortable with but I can always count on you to get me moving in the right direction.

Hope all has been well with you and yours.

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Hi @Marp! We are doing well here and just trying to stay cool.   Hope you are doing well also.  LOL....don't know about moving in the right direction....!! 

Back on topic....I don't think you are being cynical.  The family member I mentioned is exasperating for many that try to figure her out.  We just gave up trying and move along.  lol   But in the end, it is sad because no one around her trusts her.

[libbyannE]

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@Marp wrote:

When you see someone apologize for something because they "didn't know" or "didn't understand" or "didn't think they did anything wrong" then continue to repeat the behaviors for which they apologize do you tend to just ignore the apologies as insincere, see the individual as a "troublemaker" feigning innocence or react in a different way?

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This is too vague. Can you be more specific? If this is someone close to you and important to you, then you need to clear the air by saying something to that person if the relationship matters to you. If it is simply an acquaintance or someone you do not really know but simply met along the way, then who cares? Let it go. You cannot control the world.

[occasionalrain]

Apologies are often like thank yous, said to be polite rather than contrite.  I may apologize for offending you with no intention of changing my behavior to suit your sensibilities. What offends one may very well please a other.

[goldensrbest]

Apologies, are nice if someone means it, also some people just do not,over a apology.at all, i have decided to cut back on my posting, because i find there are a few that  seem to want to cause me some trouble, by their remarks, so going to give it a shot.

[Peaches McPhee]

I don't react in any way.  I ignore drama-makers, as a general rule.

[Mj12]

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@SoX wrote:

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@SahmIam wrote:

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@Mominohio wrote:

So why start a passive aggressive thread about it? Simply reply directly to that person. 

But here all the 'mean girls' will get away with piling on like usual because no one actually 'named' the poster they will come here to bash.

It just gets more childish here all the time.

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Whoa. Is this about something that went on HERE? If so, then this thread is childish beyond belief. I took the question at face value and nothing more.

This place... I swear.

@ @SahmIam

And just why do you believe HER instead of the OP ... I'd say follow your original instinct and not get carried along with the mean girl mantra.

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Exactly @SoX.  Anyone familiar with Marp's posts, knows she wouldn't do that. 

[MyGirlsMom]

I understand completely what Marp is posting about,  

Two television characters come to mind when I look at yesterday and last weeks 'meltdowns.'

Betty White's character on "Thee Mary Tyler Moore show, Sue Anne Nivens.  She was passive aggressive to the nth degree.  All sweetness and light on the outside but hard as a rock inside.  

Another one was Jaleel White;s character, Steve Urkel. A bumbler who wreaked havoc.  "Did I do that?"  ..famous lines from this character as he stood wringing his hands.

[chickenbutt]

I tend to go by actions, more than words.