Feeling unsafe when on walks - Page 9

chickenbutt · ‎03-09-2010

On 7/3/2014 NoelSeven said:
On 7/3/2014 Marienkaefer2 said:
I think women are definitely more vulnerable. I think on average any attacker is going to assume that a woman is less able to defend herself because of size, etc.

Also, the reasons women are attacked are different.

Also, I don't think men have the same fear level as women about this.

There was some sort of experiment done with this that I read about years ago. A guy dressed as a woman and went about his daily routine. At the end of the day., he had a whole new perspective. He said just "being" a woman for the day showed him how differently women are treated and interact with the world.

I just read an article on Think Progress this morning, two women were attacked and beaten after SF's Pride parade. Both young (20s), not big, one looked small. There were several men together on the street, the small brunette reportedly was kicked almost a dozen times, once in the head "as if it was a football." One asked why and was told because they were gay.

It stopped when someone passing by intervened and scared them off. It made me want to cry. The horror of it all.

My goodness. :,( What kind of 'man' - oh geez. This just breaks my heart.

As to the question of whether or not men generally have any degree of realization of these kinds of fears that women just automatically feel - not even at all. Not only are they usually larger and, in most cases, stronger than women, but their position in society just lends itself to less reasons to be fearful.

Hey, the fear of being beat up, killed, and robbed is bad enough. Sure, women have the additional fear. But we aren't always as able to defend ourselves as men are.

My husband has suggested some things to me over the years that made me shake my head. But I had to realize that it wasn't him not being concerned about my safety. It was him being just naturally oblivious to the peril.

Once, back when I was doing Notary work, he suggested that I advertise on Craig's List. Yeah, great idea - get called to somebody's house or a hotel or have them come to my house and have who-knows-what happen. The thoughts of any of that never occurred to him. For me, it was not even a nano-second before all these concerns occurred to me.

Nancy Drew · ‎03-11-2010

On 7/3/2014 gazelle77 said:
On 7/3/2014 Nancy Drew said:
It depends on what kind of park. Mine is full (almost too much) of people, strollers, dogs....... It is very isolated then that is another story.

Nancy, everytime I go to this place there is no one but me. It is so beautiful and nice, with paved trails, natural spring creek, play swings and such for children. I wish it were full of other people with their dogs. Being that it is more of a private place for the people living only in the surrounding homes, not public, is why it is not as busy.

It sounds lovely. I can see why you enjoy it so much.

Wrong is still wrong just because you benefited from it.

NoelSeven · ‎03-09-2010

On 7/3/2014 chickenbutt said:
On 7/3/2014 NoelSeven said:
On 7/3/2014 Marienkaefer2 said:
I think women are definitely more vulnerable. I think on average any attacker is going to assume that a woman is less able to defend herself because of size, etc.

Also, the reasons women are attacked are different.

Also, I don't think men have the same fear level as women about this.

There was some sort of experiment done with this that I read about years ago. A guy dressed as a woman and went about his daily routine. At the end of the day., he had a whole new perspective. He said just "being" a woman for the day showed him how differently women are treated and interact with the world.

I just read an article on Think Progress this morning, two women were attacked and beaten after SF's Pride parade. Both young (20s), not big, one looked small. There were several men together on the street, the small brunette reportedly was kicked almost a dozen times, once in the head "as if it was a football." One asked why and was told because they were gay.

It stopped when someone passing by intervened and scared them off. It made me want to cry. The horror of it all.

My goodness. :,( What kind of 'man' - oh geez. This just breaks my heart.

As to the question of whether or not men generally have any degree of realization of these kinds of fears that women just automatically feel - not even at all. Not only are they usually larger and, in most cases, stronger than women, but their position in society just lends itself to less reasons to be fearful.

Hey, the fear of being beat up, killed, and robbed is bad enough. Sure, women have the additional fear. But we aren't always as able to defend ourselves as men are.

My husband has suggested some things to me over the years that made me shake my head. But I had to realize that it wasn't him not being concerned about my safety. It was him being just naturally oblivious to the peril.

Once, back when I was doing Notary work, he suggested that I advertise on Craig's List. Yeah, great idea - get called to somebody's house or a hotel or have them come to my house and have who-knows-what happen. The thoughts of any of that never occurred to him. For me, it was not even a nano-second before all these concerns occurred to me.

Hi CB Smile

Right, we pick up these rules throughout life. Craig's List = dangerous. I'm always reminding my husband to shut the door asap when we get in the car. He'll leave it open, one leg out half the time, while he fiddles around. As women, we learn to be especially on guard in parking lots.

Campus rapes in this area have been on the rise. When my daughter was in grad school, the frat guys organized a call service. Any female could call their main number and one guy would be with you within minutes to walk you anywhere on campus or when you parked.

A Thrill Of Hope The Weary World Rejoices

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Isn't the message here: Don't be stupid? If you put yourself in sketchy situations your chances of being mugged, robbed, beaten, or otherwise harmed go way way up. You can easily take reasonable care, actions and precautions to save your life. Why wouldn't you?

Love4cats · ‎03-09-2010

On 7/2/2014 gazelle77 said: I try to go on a 45 minute walk a day....there is a lovely area to walk to from my house. A green belt, with a nice stream, lots of trees and birds..a wetland area. It is usually just me and my dog there walking ...it is a community park just for the home divisions around it and not for the public. Not many people take advantage of it. I do take my dog, they have doggie pickup stations with free bags even. I feel nervous when walking down there...my dog is a golden, not very protective....more of a licker and kisser if you know what I mean. I wish I could just enjoy walking, but that it is so secluded....and woodsy....I always am looking around me and sensing for any danger( a man). It ruins my nice walk that I innately feel like I must look behind me and be on the watch. I suppose it is just a part of society today that women always have to be on their guard. I just wish that it was not the case and a walk could just be an enjoyable experience, just a nice walk without thinking of danger. I do carry pepper spray..... I guess that says it all as far as feeling safe.

I live in what many people would call and very safe community. I have wonderful neighbors and feel pretty safe. That being said, if I am walking alone I will walk where the homes are close together and would not walk alone at night. We live in a very different world than it was 50 years ago and its a very dangerous world . There are terrible senseless crimes committed everyday. There are some young people today that are capable of doing awful things to others and not think twice about it.

Anther fear I now have about walking alone is that, on my last walk I turned my ankle and fell. I broke my ankle about a quarter mile from home and had to walk the rest of the way home because my husband had gone to work and had our cell phone. I was so hoping that one of my neighbors would drive by so I could get a ride home but that did not happen. As nice a neighborhood as I live in, unless I knew the person I would not accept a ride. Someone to think about if you walk alone.

Disneylandfan · ‎03-10-2010

When I was 19 I was out jogging with friend. When running back to the dorms I had a freak accident and I broke my hip and dislocated it. Thankfully I was with someone because the street we were on didn't get a lot of traffic at that time of day. After that I would always run/walk on busy areas. So that if something like that happened again at least someone would see me.

Bad people can be anywhere--I was followed off the freeway, into and throughout a grocery store by an odd guy. It's knowing your surroundings and trusting your instincts.

luvmyteddy4 · ‎09-04-2010

I always carry a weapon of some sort when I walk, more to protect my dog from other dogs than me. I usually have a guy stop me and ask about my dog or sometimes looking for their dog but I never get too close and they can see my big stick. You cannot be too careful.

Cell phone

extra lease

stick or pipe

fog horn - sometimes

doggie bags

I would not go to a woody area anymore or park. I use to go to the huge dog park years ago during the week but realized I was the only one there or sometimes a guy and dog would show up. Weekends were different.

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

If you (we) 'have a feeling' that our walks might not be safe, I would say that our keen intuition is warning us. Scientists probably don't really know much about our intuition, but I'm sure that some folks have a very keen awareness of possible danger. That being said, the posters who 'feel' unsafe should probably walk somewhere else. Just thinking out loud........

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

fortune · ‎03-14-2010

Has anybody read the Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker? It is an eye-opener. Check it out on Amazon!

NVmimi · ‎03-10-2010

On 7/3/2014 Fortune said:
Has anybody read the Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker? It is an eye-opener. Check it out on Amazon!

Fortune, you took the words right out of my mouth!

OP (and everyone else) Plz get a copy of this book. It will help you immensely and make you realize that your fear/ intuition is a good thing. And show how we, as women, unknowingly put ourselves at risk everyday. Very eye opening!

I feel so strongly about this book that I sent copies to both our daughters!