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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,997
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Feel sad and depressed over sick mother


@Noel7 wrote:

@Beautiful life wrote:

I have been in tears for the last few days. Worried sick about my 82 year old mom. My mom went downhill a month ago after a fall. After her fall she went to rehab/nursing home came home and did ok, only a few weeks later in the hospital needing a pacemaker then again for rehab. She is so weak now,can't move on her own, cries of pain. Her dementia has gotten worse. She will be discharged soon and going to have her live with me. I can't stand to see her in pain. She's had lots of test, she's very underweight and sore everywhere. I feel like dying inside, I feel very guilty of having gotten mad at her in the past, I try my best but a lot of times drove me crazy. I see her most everyday and have my entire life but still feel like I failed. I love her so much and now miss her bothering me. I wish she would call me like before. 

 

I lost my dad 14 years ago and still very sad. 

 

*****************

 

@Beautiful life

 

You are in so much pain, I understand how you feel.  Your mother's hospital should have a social worker available to help you. Your mom may need hospice care.

 

Your feelings are natural, I still wish I could get another phone call from my mother.


Oh I sure know how you feel.

 

How I would love to get another phone call from my mother.

 

Hyacinth

Super Contributor
Posts: 430
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Feel sad and depressed over sick mother

 

Thank you everyone for your support. Just a few weeks ago my mom told me that I'm the only one that helps her With everything. I have brothers that don't communicate with her anymore. I feel responsible for her. She has no one else. 

 

My mom did used to drive me insane, very demanding, negative and gave me the quilt trips all the  time. Now she's so quiet and in a different world. I want my mom back. 

 

I do not work, I take care of my kids and my mother. My mom only weighs 80 lbs, lost 10 lbs in the nursing home. I'm afraid if getting a call that she has died. My mom still knows who I am, holds my hand and smiles when my children come to visit. I will get a caregiver a few hours a day. Medicare covers a few visits of nurses and therapy in the home.

 

I did contact hospice but physical therapy is not covered if I go with hospice. I want to try for therapy first before hospice. 

 

I have a bedroom dowstairs that she will use. I  just bought a tv and had it installed for her today. Just a couple of months ago she was doing her own bills and bank deposits. 

My heart breaks when she's in pain, I feel sick inside and useless. My mom used to worry all the time about me or the kids- I miss that. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,585
Registered: ‎02-04-2014

Re: Feel sad and depressed over sick mother

@Beautiful life

 

Image result for animated flowers basket

I feel your anxieties and pain--been in your situation, and the best advise I can give is "just be there" for her as you are currently doing--no regrets.   I am a hospice volunteer and we also offer spiritual counseling if that could be of help to both of you if you choose that route--I wish I could give you a big hug, and know others are here for you.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,188
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Feel sad and depressed over sick mother

[ Edited ]

My amazing mother died 35 years ago. We were the BEST mother/daughter duo - and friends. Every day, I pretend she's walking in the room - and I speak to her. She died at 65 yrs old from cancer --- and I still can't believe how someone who was so vital, happy, energetic - and not sick - could have died like that. I've never enjoyed my life after she left.

Just realize that you are not responsible for her health problems ---- older people usually fall - but that's because of medical issues they have. Think about all the happy times u shared. No one can replace a MOM!!!!!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,832
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Feel sad and depressed over sick mother

@Beautiful life Great big hug to you!<3

 

Super Contributor
Posts: 430
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Feel sad and depressed over sick mother

 

 Thank you everyone