Community Chat

[Sooner]

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@stevieb wrote:

@Sooner  I understand and to some extent agre with the point you make about sometimes letting things go, but it sounds as though the OP is NOT the host and is asking whether whoever is the host should be willing to accomodate her request to make scarce the dog for a 'child' of undisclosed age who is autistic.

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@stevieb I was just saying the host calles the shots.  That's my take on it.  The host has the right whether the OP agrees or not. So no, I don't think the host is obligated to do what a guest wants.  Right or wrong, the host makes the call.  

[Sage04]

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@goldensrbest wrote:

I just don't think pook should had posted, the message that she did,stiring the pot.

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@goldensrbest  but at the same time that Post has nothing to do with the question @timeless  asked.

[stevieb]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@stevieb wrote:

@Oostende  Of course, the option is for the family of the 'petrified' child, of whatever age' not to participate in the gathering. Hence, no one would be cruelly exposing him or her to the situation.

@Trinity11  I'm not sure whether the hosts are 'ignorant', such a judgement laden word, of the situation or have merely expressed an unwillingness to accommodate the request to sequester the dog in their own home. 

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I own it @stevieb and yes it it is a judgement just like your doing exactly what you are accusing me of when you called me out for saying it.. Anyone in this day and age that has no idea how difficult it is to raise an autistic child is either without knowledge of autism and what it entails or just plain without empathy.

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We'll agree to disagree @Trinity11. One can be knowledgeable of the challenges as well as empathic, to a degree, but still not choose to accommodate the request. And, for the record, no, I'm not judging you, I'm simply pointing out there is another point of view. Sometimes that gets lost in the strength of personal opinions.

[stevieb]

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@tansy wrote:

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@Pook wrote:

Everyone posting please  read my post of OP's post of  10-31 of this year about her hosting Christmas when her son was younger but stopped because their early morning rush to open gifts and get things started and  her son having to get dressed and unable to play with gifts for guests he rarely sees so...

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message 21 on this thread.

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@Pook, @tansy  I did and that's one of several reasons I don't personally feel strongly that all the stops should be pulled out to address her situation.

[occasionalrain]

@ThinkingOutLoud 

 Dominion means power. Animals are at our mercy, they are dependant on us. To me, we owe them respect and protection. They are the least of these...and how we treat them matters always.

[jubilant]

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@ThinkingOutLoud wrote:

People over animals always. Period. 

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I agree. I love dogs and cats but people come first. I don't imagine that they would come often because of the person's fear so once in a great while...I think the dog should be able to take it.

[occasionalrain]

Since this child is terrified of dogs, confining the dog to another room won't alleviate his fear. What if the dog barks? Won't the child fear the dog will somehow get out? 

[jubilant]

If we say most people have pets these days, how would this autistic young man ever be able to go to a house to relate to people?

Would it be possible to have someone sit with the dog and watch TV and maybe you could suggest the dog  not be locked in a room more than 2 hours? That gives the people an idea of when   they would need to leave.

[Cakers3]

@timeless   Since you posted what you are making (by now have made) for your Christmas dinner it can be assumed you did not attend dinner elsewhere.

You never answered how old is your son.

[JeanLouiseFinch]

I find it rather insensitive that so many are prioritizing an animal and in the the process devaluing a person with a medical condition that needs an accommodation.  If it were any one of us we would demand it for our child in a school situation.  Why can't grace be shown to someone who needs help to manage at a family gathering for a little while? This isn't a matter of preference but of need.  Selfishness excludes the individual.  It's also insensitive to suggest that the child, however old they are, needs to get help to learn how to deal with the situation.  That's just plain rude.  With his diagnosis that may never happen and they can't help it.  Do you actually think the mother has sat by and not sought out help for him, knowing he has been diagnosed?  🤦‍♀️